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Gender: Female
Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 44,202

Journal Archives

"As long as the slut and that crazy female canine take the fifth, this report clears me."

That's not exactly what New Jersey governor Chris "Governor Soprano" Christie said in his interview with Diane Sawyer -- but he might as well have. From the report's executive summary:

Something happened to change this dynamic dramatically, however, in August 2013. By that time, Kelly had become Deputy Chief of Staff, assuming the post left vacant by her predecessor, Stepien, who had departed in April 2013 to run the Governor’s re election campaign.

Because Stepien was her “benefactor,” Kelly relied heavily on him during this transition. And at some point after Stepien’s departure to run the campaign, Kelly and Stepien became personally involved, although, by early August 2013, their personal relationship had cooled, apparently at Stepien’s choice, and they largely stopped speaking.

Kelly -- a vengeful woman scorned?

Our investigation found that Mayor Zimmer’s allegations are, in material respects, demonstrably false...the subjective perceptions she may have do not match objective reality, as reflected in the hard evidence uncovered during our investigation...

Even crediting this notebook’s contents as genuine, however, they are only as accurate as the perceptions of the writer...what other witnesses say she then told them is not corroboration either because it is as unreliable as the perceptions she recounts...

Whatever subjective perceptions she may have do not match objective reality, as reflected in the hard evidence uncovered during our investigation.

Zimmer -- an incompetent hysteric?

Rachel Maddow sure picked up on it:

...In the report, quote, "Evidence in Kelly`s personal life may have had some bearing on her subjective motivations. Her first known communication to David Wildstein about the lane closures occurred around the time her relationship with Bill Stepien had cooled. Apparently at Bill Stepien`s behest and Stepien and Kelly had largely stopped speaking...

"Given that Stepien`s personal relationship apparently cooled by Stepien and Kelly`s personal relationship apparently cooled by early August 2013" -- I mean, essentially they`re going throughout this report over and over again, did we mention that he dumped her?

...They have disproved (Zimmer's) allegations because they found a photo of her yawning...(A)s you can see here, the narrative here, figure five, "a person does not normally yawn when being threatened, coerced, or spoken to improperly."

Well, that is damning evidence...but it`s not all...Look at figure six. What is that? Mayor Zimmer of Hoboken, New Jersey, caught smiling...The hard evidence that she once yawned. Also that she once smiled.

You know how women are. Boy crazy. That`s why it happened. You know how it is.

But Rachel's a woman, of course, and a gay one at that -- her objectivity on slut shaming is compromised right out of the gate. Besides, you know how MSNBC is -- liberal crazy; GOP shaming. That's why it happened. Surely the rest of the media doesn't feel that way:

The Daily Beast: The Slut-Shaming of Bridget Anne Kelly

Raw Story: Slut-shaming Bridget Kelly: How she ranks among history’s greatest political sluts

New York Times: Irate Friends See Sexism in Report on Former Christie Aide

Huffington Post: Christie Report Finds A Culprit: A Scorned, 'Emotional' Woman

NYC.org: A Jilted Lover, a 'Crazy' Man and Diane Sawyer: What Christie Crisis Management Looks Like

Salon: Christie’s creepy misogyny: Behold his despicable “blame Bridget” strategy

New York Magazine: Chris Christie Bridgegate Report Slammed As Sexist

Media Matters: Will Megyn Kelly Ignore Sexist Attacks In Report Commissioned By Christie?

NorthJersey.com: Hoboken mayor portrayed as confused in report commissioned by Christie's office

Hmm. Well, surely a voyage through the Twitterverse will prove my point:

There are other ways to reach same conclusion without crafting a narrative that tries to shame Kelly + cast Zimmer as naive

it's telling that the only woman featured in Christie Bridge report gets trampled/slimed in print by Gov's hand-picked attorney.

If I were Bridget Anne Kelly, I'd stop protecting whoever I was protecting," says @morningmika "A woman should never be treated that way."

Christie's report all but says bridge closings happened because it was that time of the month

Fake traffic studies know no fury like a lover scorned

Wow, even Fox News says Christie's #BridgeGate report "slutshames" Bridget Kelly

Hmm. Well, maybe it's a good thing David Samson resigned today -- Christie certainly needed the media distraction!



THANKS TO: DUer Wednesdays

THANKS TO: DUer TheStraightStory (Fox News Election 2012 Special Achievement Award)


My definitive, quintessential DU moment was winning all of Congress in 2006

with the help of Howard Dean's fifty state strategy. Otherwise, Obama would have been impossible. Runners up:

Georgie's "Mission Accomplished" Banner

The Kaloogian Photo: Instanbul or Baghdad?

Outing Jeff Gannon

The Al Qeada Job Application

The Moran Family Reunion

Not Buying The "Pretzel-Dunce" Story

Neil Munro Could Dish It Out, But Couldn't Take It -- (Click Here for Video)

Steve Colbert: "The Emperor Has No Clothes -- And There Isn't Much Of An Emperor, Either!"
(Click Here for Video)

2012 Republican Convention, Democratic (Underground) Backdrops
(Click Here for Video)

Let's Keep This (Thread) Kicked Till Franken Is Seated Or Hell Freezes Over


DU's official theme song

and unofficial mascot:


P.S. Submitted without comment? I suppose you think you're too good to condescend to speak to the rest of us!!!

"This project...stalled when...an anti-development faction took over..."

Yes, I remember it well: the city of Hoboken refused to allow a tattoo parlor to open, citing "sanitation issues." But after arming themselves with info from the health department about what standards they'd have to meet, plus the argument that doctors and dentists were being allowed to operate in Hoboken despite their potential "sanitation issues," they filed suit and got their permit.

But why was the tattoo parlor given such a hard time? It soon became apparent: the city had just begun to gentrify, and an establishment that attracted biker and rock star types would certainly not fit in with the decor of their yuppie hell-to-be. But this story has a happy ending: the parlor celebrated their 20th anniversary in 2018!


Doesn't feel very good to finish behind someone who fell down, does it?

For the record, I certainly understand WHY you'd be pissed about it. But you didn't seem to mind getting on the Olympic team ahead of someone though you'd fallen down yourself -- twice! YOU should have been the alternate, and I'm sorry to say that I think you skated like one: while I agree that your score should have been higher, I think the Japanese skater was better even with her fall.

I wouldn't have minded all your media hype and endorsements if you hadn't been such a legend in your own mind. And I would tell you "better luck next Olympics" -- but thanks to your profane "ugly American" sore loser reaction, you can forget about the judges cutting you any slack on your scores ever again.

You've made fools of those who inundated you with the hype and endorsements that Gracie Gold was better qualified for. And now you're on record as being unable to out-skate someone who fell down.

You have reaped exactly what you sowed, Miss Tim Tebow On Skates.


What really offends the "rabid racist trolls" about Gracie's family

is that there isn't a white male involved.

Gracie is a living monument to her mother's preference to a black man over a white one -- and now that she has a little brother coming, it means her mom had sex with him MORE than once -- probably WILLINGLY!!!

This Swiffer commercial, on the other hand (and if you'll pardon the expression), has barely made a ripple because it's the lesser of two evils. A black woman desiring a white man, while not "ideal," is at the very least "logical!"


Her mention of Rob Blagojevich brings back memories

It's time to play "Name That Goon!"

...One's a trash-talking thug trying to stay one step ahead of the law. The other was played by James Gandolfini. Can you identify the speaker of the ten quotes below?

1. "Unless I get something real good...shit, I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying."

2. "What the fuck am I, a toxic person or something?"

3. "Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!"

4. "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."

5. "You got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be number one. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fucking thing."

6. "I've got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fuckin' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And I can always use it. I can parachute me there."

7. "That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down."

8. "Our recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get 'em the fuck out of there..."

9. "I could have made a larger announcement but wanted to see how they perform by the end of the year. If they don't perform, fuck 'em."

10. "Jesus Christ! The money I've been dropping in here, I could've bought a fuckin' Ferrari."


And here are the mistakes that YOU made, Governor Soprano

1. Not realizing that since it involves more than one state, the Port Authority of New York AND New Jersey can be investigated federally. You thought that promoting the PA contact who initiated the traffic closing and turning your chief of staff into the new state attorney general would shut down any investigation on the state level, and that would be that.

2. Not putting the nomination of your chief of staff on hold immediately and calling for a federal investigation yourself. That would have made it at least look like you wanted the most objective investigation possible.

3. Complaining to NY governor Andrew Cuomo that his executive director at the Port Authority was being too nosy. That indisputably makes you part of the coverup (if not the crime itself) and confirms that you knew there was no Ft. Lee traffic study.

4. Having your crew -- I mean, senior staff -- do their email communicating privately rather than on the government servers to avoid detection because they would have been on public record. I think this was done with your knowledge and consent because if you were innocent, you would have fired them -- not allowed them to resign -- for that alone, and at least a month sooner.

5. And here's your biggest mistake of all: successfully cultivating such a vindictive, despotic, lying, bullying cult of personality that the idea of Bridge(t)-gate happening without your consent brings an entirely new dimension to the concept of cognitive dissonance. All whom you've victimized and terrorized are creeping out into the sunlight now, and their stories reveal a pattern of behavior that puts the possibility of your being innocent light years beyond a reasonable doubt.

And I thought that Bon Jovi were the only New Jerseyites who could give me so much pleasure.


It's the Eleventh Annual Rocktivity/DU "You Call This NEWS?" Awards!

[div style="text-align:center"]

Thank you, and a tip of my tiara in welcome! This is the beginning of our second decade, and I would like to open this year's ceremonies with some dedications.

In case you don't already know, MiddleFingerMom, our DU Lounge lizard du tutti DU Lounge lizards, is no longer with us. To say that his extraordinary personality and talent will be sorely missed is of course an understatement. But keeping him close to us is as easy as reviewing his posts, and it has been suggested that the Lounge be renamed in his honor -- a sentiment I heartily endorse.

And in case you don't know, I'm a Jersey girl who nicknamed its current governor Chris Christie "Governor Soprano" years ago. I didn't realize how right I was, and we've touched only the tip of the iceberg of this George Washington Bridge(t) scandal. I also dedicate this year's ceremony to Shawn Boburg of the Bergen Record and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC for refusing to back down on this story. Here's hoping that next year's ceremony will be full of Christie-related entries (minus the fat jokes, please) while his political future sleeps with the fishes.

As I read through the past ten years' worth of awards, an evolutionary process reveals itself -- from just one line to a complete thread; from choosing entries from Latest Breaking News only to choosing them from all DU forums and groups. Eleven years ago, I found myself replying "You call this NEWS?" to stories that seemed too redundant, outdated, or both to qualify as actual journalism. More recently, I've been coming across too many "real" stories that I would have bet my first-born male child were from The Onion or Andy Borowitz -- a new subcategory is born!

Now let's get to this years' awards -- unless you'd like to go through the archives first:

[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS
2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi)
2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances

[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES
2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion
2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State
2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord
2008 - Bush sees no recession coming
2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?'
2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina
2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money"
2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar!

[div class="excerpt" style="text-align:center;border: 2px #000000 ridge"]ELEVENTH ANNUAL ROCKTIVITY DU/LBN "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARDS WINNERS

[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHEIVEMENT AWARD
Fox Accidentally Uses Photo of Same-Sex Couple to Illustrate Importance of Heterosexual Marriage
Media Source: FoxNews.com
Posted by: kpete

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Good for them! Oh, and fuck Fox News."

[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT "NOT FROM THE ONION" AWARDS
Orlando CBS Affiliate Apologizes For Airing Jags Football Game
Media Source: Yahoo Sports.com
Posted by: NightWatcher

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The Raiders vs. the Jaguars has almost no appeal, unless you're in Jacksonville quarterback Chad Henne's immediate family."
-- NightWatcher/Frank Schwab

Advice to a Republican awaiting his prison term
Media Source: Courier Journal.com
Posted by: alfredo

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "If Farmer survives prison...(h)e could always become an evangelist and shear the 'sheep.' Chuck Colson did that and made a good living. "
-- alfredo

[div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTIONDick Armey dishes dirt accidentally
Media Source: Maddowblog.msnbc.com
Posted by: muriel_volestrangler

Dick Armey had no idea he was speaking to the left-wing Media Matters organization during an interview last week...Instead, Armey thought he was chatting with the conservative Media Research Center...

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Do Penis Navy and Schlong Marines know what any of this means?"
-- LW1977


(New York) City Report Shows a Growing Number Are Near Poverty
Media Source: New York Times
Posted by: alp227

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'All the news that's fit for the eyes of the One Percent' should be their new motto."
-- LiberalEsto

Govt Report: We Wasted a Ton of Money in Iraq
Media Source: AP / TalkingPointsMemo.com
Posted by: meegbear

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'Wasted' is not exactly the right word.
All of the above?"
-- unblock

[div style="text-align:center"]THIRD RUNNER UP
New Report Warns That Drones Could Be Used for Stalking, Voyeurism
Media Source: Slate
Posted by: Redfairen

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The report further suggest Drones will make great marital aids and sex toys. Bedrooms will need to be enlarged to accommodate take off and landings."
-- Katashi_itto

[div style="text-align:center"]SECOND RUNNER UP
As inauguration approaches, Obama’s most virulent foes want the celebration stopped
Media Source: Washington Post
Posted by: Faygo Kid

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "We have had the accountability moment...Obama won. And any criticism now would be un-American.*
*The George W. Bush model. And I intend to stick to it."
-- bluestateguy

[div style="text-align:center"]FIRST RUNNER UP
Colin Powell Rebukes GOP: "I Am A Republican" but "GOP Has A Dark Vein Of Intolerance"
Media Source: Meet The Press (NBC TV)
Posted by: egbertowillies

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "It's a new era, bro. You don't have to dance forever with the one what brung ya, especially when that one disrespected you through most of the prom."
-- MADem

[div class="excerpt" style="border: 2px #000000 ridge"][div style="text-align:center"] AND THE WINNER OF THE ELEVENTH ANNUAL

It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican
Media Source: Reuters/Yahoo
Posted by: MindMover

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Goddamn it -- it took me an hour to inflate this sheep."
-- Orsino

[div style="text-align:center"]

Congratulations to the winners, and I thank all DU-ers without whose intestinal fortitude in reading these stories these awards cannot happen. Now it's time for the annual after party: this year, Chris Christie gets the bar bill; and as usual, any clothing that gets stuck in the chandelier will be donated to charity.

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