Trump Announces He Was Born Of A Virgin And Will Bring Balance To The Force

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference Wednesday, President Trump announced he was born of a virgin and is the chosen one who will bring balance to the Force.


According to Trump, he was conceived by the Force and has "the highest midi-chlorian count of anyone, maybe ever."

"I'm the chosen one," he said. "All the very best people say that. I ask them to stop saying it so it won't go to my head, but they keep saying it. They insist." Trump claimed he had the uncanny ability when he was a child to win podraces in Star Wars Episode I: Racer on the Nintendo 64, something no human has been able to do before. "I'm a very good podracer. An expert."

A reporter questioned whether this was true, since the Nintendo 64 wasn't released when Trump was a child, but he Force-choked her.

"Sad!" he said. "So uncivilized."

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-declares-he-was-born-of-a-virgin-and-will-bring-balance-to-the-force

Australia Cuts 80% of Plastic Bag Use in 3 Short Months

Despite a few hiccups along the way, Australia's plastic bag consumption has dropped drastically.

Three months after two of the largest supermarket chains banned plastic grocery bags, an estimated 1.5 billion bags have been prevented from use, the Australian Associated Press reported, citing the National Retail Association.

Overall, the bans introduced by Coles and Woolworths last summer resulted in an 80 percent reduction in the country's overall use of the single-use item, the retail group revealed.

"Indeed, some retailers are reporting reduction rates as high as 90 per cent," National Retail Association's David Stout told the news service.

https://www.ecowatch.com/australia-plastic-bag-ban-2622280343.html

*SURPRISE* Macron Invites Iran's Zarif to G-7 Sidelines, Risks U.S. Outrage

Emmanuel Macron has thrown his G-7 guests a mid-summit curveball -- inviting Iran’s foreign minister for a surprise visit in a move that risks infuriating Donald Trump’s administration.

Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif flew to Biarritz, the French seaside resort town that’s the site of the summit, on Sunday as leaders met nearby. The French government insisted he wasn’t in the town to join the G-7, but instead to meet nearby with the French foreign minister as part of a bid by Macron to deescalate the crisis.


Still, the arrival came as a stunning development, and several delegations appear to have been caught off-guard -- the Americans and Canadians declined to say if they had advance notice, while the Italians found out from French news wire AFP. Iran already has dominated the discussions at the G-7, with Macron and Trump sparring over Macron’s outreach to the Islamic Republic.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-08-25/macron-invites-iran-s-zarif-to-g-7-sidelines-risks-u-s-outrage

Have all the 'Murkan companies moved back from China yet?

I just wanted to check in to see if they'd all finished moving back. Been it of the loop most of the day yesterday.
😆 😳 🤡

Sorry we were hosting friends last night for a dinner and then the guys were watching football while the ladies were enjoying a wonderful August night on our deck.

Uh waiter, can I get some extra CAPTIONs?

Rambo:Last Blood - just saw the trailer during a football game

He's a rancher/horseman who's daughter is drugged and taken. John Rambo has to get her back.

Yes it"s "Taken" but with Rambo.


https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1206885/

Portland & Seattle soccer fans stage silent protest - not allowed anti-fascist signage

Timbers, Sounders fan groups protest silently

https://www.espn.com/soccer/major-league-soccer/story/3927069/timberssounders-fan-groups-protest-silently

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Groups of supporters of the Portland Timbers and Seattle Sounders staged a silent protest for the first 33 minutes of Friday's match involving the two teams.

The groups were protesting Major League Soccer's ban on political signage, and in particular the Iron Front symbol, which was used by an anti-Nazi paramilitary organization before World War II.

The supporters groups contend that the Iron Front symbol is intended to promote inclusion, anti-fascism and anti-racism. MLS has stated the symbol is connected to the antifa movement in the U.S. and thus constitutes a link to a political organization.

As the protest ended, the Timbers Army sang "Bella Ciao," an Italian anti-fascist anthem from World War II.

In recognition of the fans' complaints, both teams posed ahead of kickoff for a group photo with small banners that read "anti-fascist" and "anti-racist." The teams' Twitter accounts also posted messages reading, "Bigger than a rivalry. We stand together against fascism and racism."

https://twitter.com/SoundersFC/status/1165084888300523520/photo/1

Trump's bad day

Fed Chief effectively says STFU
China (“Gina”) says STFU
Danish PM says STFU - I’m guessing

And the worst of the worst of all
Word got out on the 36% polling.

Impossible Whopper vs Whopper

I've had two of these Impossible Whoppers. One with a very "foodie" coworker with a highly developed palate. She's vegan, she liked it. I thought it was pretty good.

How to create work for yourself

My co-worker hasn’t been able to figure out how to raise her office chair. I sit in the chair, reach down, flipped the lever, seat rises up.
“Oh! This is perfect! Thank you!”

Two hours later, get an email - “Can you order me a foot rest?”

Her feet no longer touch the ground.