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underpants

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Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 144,249

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Proposal. The launch of Pumpkin Spice Latte should initiate our "War on Christmas" meetings

Look people, if we don't get this started it's not going to happen again.

Can I get a second on this?

Mississippi Police Want to Arrest the Satanists Who Turn Dead People Gay

Mississippi Police Want to Arrest the Satanists Who Turn Dead People Gay

Just over a week ago the Satanic Temple, unwavering disciples of the Prince of Darkness and aspiring adopt-a-highway participants, performed a Pink Mass over the grave of Catherine Idalette Johnston, the mother of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Jr. Westboro has yet to officially comment on the eternal gaying of its leader's dead mom, but the owner of the cemetery where the ceremony was performed has filed charges with the local police department. The captain of the Meridian PD, Dean Harper, told local news station WTOK-TV on Monday that they were "in the process of constructing affidavits" and "will have [the satanists] arrested as soon as [they] can." He added, "It is an unusual crime that we haven't come across—to my knowledge—in a while." LOL.

Harper told the Huffington Post today that the original charges of tresspasing, malicious mischief, and indecent exposure (thanks to Lucien tea-bagging Catherine Johnston's grave, which can be seen here) have been dropped because "the judge refused to sign a warrant on them." In the end, Lucien has been charged with desecration of a grave.

If this sort of case was thrown onto the desk of another small town police department, one that, say, was located in a community with few serious crimes, it would be fine for the department to pursue what is, essentially, an exercise in the misuse of police time and energy. People—including police officers­—get bored and need something to occupy their time. Meridian, unfortunately, is not one of those sleepy towns.

According to Neighborhood Scout, a website owned by a research and data-mining company that collects crime statistics from around the country, Meridian is—and I'm paraphrasing here—sketchy as fuck. Based on a crime index of 0 to 100—100 being a crime-free utopia and 0 being the inside of one of Trevino Morales's vats of acid—Meridian gets a four. By way of comparison, Brooklyn, New York, clocks in at 40. Detroit, one of the most dangerous cities in America, is a two.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/5gwned/mississippi-police-want-to-arrest-the-satanists-who-turn-dead-people-gay

Mississippi Police Want to Arrest the Satanists Who Turn Dead People Gay

Just over a week ago the Satanic Temple, unwavering disciples of the Prince of Darkness and aspiring adopt-a-highway participants, performed a Pink Mass over the grave of Catherine Idalette Johnston, the mother of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Jr. Westboro has yet to officially comment on the eternal gaying of its leader's dead mom, but the owner of the cemetery where the ceremony was performed has filed charges with the local police department. The captain of the Meridian PD, Dean Harper, told local news station WTOK-TV on Monday that they were "in the process of constructing affidavits" and "will have [the satanists] arrested as soon as [they] can." He added, "It is an unusual crime that we haven't come across—to my knowledge—in a while." LOL.

Harper told the Huffington Post today that the original charges of tresspasing, malicious mischief, and indecent exposure (thanks to Lucien tea-bagging Catherine Johnston's grave, which can be seen here) have been dropped because "the judge refused to sign a warrant on them." In the end, Lucien has been charged with desecration of a grave.

If this sort of case was thrown onto the desk of another small town police department, one that, say, was located in a community with few serious crimes, it would be fine for the department to pursue what is, essentially, an exercise in the misuse of police time and energy. People—including police officers­—get bored and need something to occupy their time. Meridian, unfortunately, is not one of those sleepy towns.

According to Neighborhood Scout, a website owned by a research and data-mining company that collects crime statistics from around the country, Meridian is—and I'm paraphrasing here—sketchy as fuck. Based on a crime index of 0 to 100—100 being a crime-free utopia and 0 being the inside of one of Trevino Morales's vats of acid—Meridian gets a four. By way of comparison, Brooklyn, New York, clocks in at 40. Detroit, one of the most dangerous cities in America, is a two.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/5gwned/mississippi-police-want-to-arrest-the-satanists-who-turn-dead-people-gay

Coroner: Opioids and alcohol in Skaggs' system

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- The opioids fentanyl and oxycodone, along with alcohol, were in Tyler Skaggs' system at the time of his death, according to an autopsy report that was released Friday, nearly two months after the Los Angeles Angels pitcher was found unresponsive.

The Tarrant County (Texas) medical examiner's office listed Skaggs' cause of death as "mixed ethanol, fentanyl and oxycodone intoxication with terminal aspiration of gastric contents," which essentially means Skaggs choked on his own vomit while under the influence. Skaggs, 27, died July 1 in his hotel room in Southlake, Texas. The autopsy revealed that his death was accidental.

The seven-page autopsy showed 38 nanograms per milliliter of oxycodone, an opioid medication prescribed to treat severe pain, and 3.8 nanograms per milliliter of fentanyl, a highly concentrated painkiller that is significantly stronger than oxycodone. It also showed a blood-alcohol level of 0.122%; a 0.08% limit is considered legally impaired.

"But frankly, for me and for the guys in the clubhouse, it doesn't really change anything," Ausmus added. "We still lost a teammate, lost a friend, and we miss him."

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/27501379/coroner-opioids-alcohol-skaggs-system

Family funny

Wife: oh did you hear? Trump fired his assistant today. She told a reporter something off the record....

Daughter: Is that the one who goes in front of the camera and makes excuses and lies for him?

Wife: No, this one is pretty


1,000 dreams will die by 4PM tomorrow


Okay that’s a bit extreme but it got you here 😁

Good short mostly anecdotal article from ESPN on getting cut from the NFL. 32 teams have to get their rosters down from 90 to 53 by 4 PM tomorrow. Some interesting stories about guys who’ve hung around the league for years getting cut several times. For a lot of guys who’ve probably been the star player for almost all their lives this is the first time they’ve had to deal with something like this.


https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27483799/what-really-cut-nfl


This is from the end of the article

Arizona Cardinals special-teamer Dennis Gardeck got the tap last preseason. Gardeck, who was an undrafted rookie free agent, was in the locker room when a staff member came up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Scooby, come with me."

Wait, what?

The staff member had Gardeck confused with Scooby Wright, another 6-foot, long-haired linebacker.

"I was like, 'I'm not Scooby,' " Gardeck said. "I thought I was done."

Popeyes and Chic-fil-a meeting at the fence in the chicken wars

Washington man's pickup stolen while he was robbing store across the street, police say


KENNEWICK, Wash. (WFLA) — A Washington state man suffered the ultimate case of karma over the weekend after someone stole his truck while he was robbing a store across the street, according to police.


When police arrived William Kelley told police someone on a bike had stolen his 1992 Chevy pickup. Kelley told police he had left his keys on the seat.

When officials obtained video of the incident, police discovered Kelley was at the location because he was stealing items from a business across the street.

Kelley was then booked in the Benton County jail on a warrant and a burglary charge.

Kelley’s pickup truck is still missing.



https://www.wfla.com/news/national/mans-pickup-stolen-while-he-was-robbing-store-across-the-street-police-say/

I've Got A Secret - witness to Lincoln assassination TV appearance



Samuel J. Seymour
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_J._Seymour

😁 Wendy's Twitter is brutal 😄 (language)

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