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FLORENCE, COLORADO (The Borowitz Report)—The convicted drug lord known as El Chapo said on Thursday that he was “outraged” his 2019 trial had included witnesses. He also revealed that he was demanding a new trial without them.

Speaking from ADX Florence, a maximum-security facility in Colorado, the former drug kingpin complained that his trial would have resulted in a speedy acquittal had it not been for the irritating presence of witnesses.

“If I had to point to one reason why I was convicted of all of those crimes, it would have to be witnesses,” he said. “Once the decision was made to include witnesses, things really went downhill for me.”

The former criminal mastermind said that he was now actively seeking a new trial without witnesses because, in his opinion, “witnesses ruin everything.”

“For the good of the country, it’s time to move on,” he said.


😁 Who knew that Anne Hathaway was an expert on the 1-9 Employment Eligibility Verification form?

😁 Some levity for today. Just found this on the Citizenship and Immigration Services website.

See right side of first pic and the second closeup one

Who wants to see ESPNs Bill Barnwell Super Bowl pick?

Get ready to be some serious scrolling.


Wind knocks over part of new US-Mexico border wall in California, video shows

A newly installed segment of the border wall between the United States and Mexico tumbled over on Wednesday due to heavy Southern California winds, video shows.

KYMA published footage showing the panels teetering on trees in Mexicali on the Mexico side amid wind gusts, with the TV station reporting that police in Mexicali confirmed the 130-foot segment fell “a little before 12 p.m. local time.”

According to KYMA, “the wall was being worked on as part of the new border wall project launched by President Donald Trump.”

Customs and Border Patrol Agent Carlos Pitones of the El Centro Sector said the panels that fell had recently been put in concrete foundations in Calexico — and the concrete hadn’t dried fully by the time the wind picked up, CNN reported.


VIDEO here

"Fantasyland" pretty much sums up it up

Yeah I listen in. You have no idea the world many people think they are living in

RUSH: We are clearly not living in a real world, folks. We’re living in a Democrat, media-generated illusion, a fantasyland. It’s frustrating, because everybody is aware of what’s happening, and yet nobody steps outside it, nobody calls it out — except for, well, people like me and others elsewhere in the media. What I’m talking about… So, yesterday at the so-called Trump impeachment trial, Trump’s lawyers presented another day of their case.

Pam Bondi literally destroyed the entire case. Alan Dershowitz literally destroyed the entire case. When those two were finished, every Republican Senator should have stood up and told Mitch McConnell, “Let’s move to acquit. This is absolute… This is a farce. This is absolutely ridiculous what’s going on here.” But, of course, none of them did. No, no, of course not. We gotta react to the Kavanaugh episode here with Bolton.

Thus, all of this — meaning Trump-Russia collusion, the Mueller investigation, now this — is all a gigantic cover-up of what the Democrats did. But Bondi exposed it yesterday. Now, none of the big three networks covered it. They bumped out of it. They covered every word that Adam Schiff said. But they didn’t cover Pam Bondi. They didn’t cover Dershowitz. So, as far as people who watch ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC are concerned, it didn’t happen.

Nobody knows it.

Except that you do.

Falwell and W.Va. governor pitch Virginia secession plea "Vexit"

Food short read.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) — In what they acknowledged is a long-shot bid, West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice and Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. urged unhappy Virginia counties Tuesday to secede and join a neighboring state where Democrats aren’t in charge.

“If you’re not truly happy where you are, we stand with open arms to take you from Virginia or anywhere where you may be,” said Justice, who’s running for reelection. “We stand strongly behind the Second Amendment and we stand strongly for the unborn.”

“What’s happening in Virginia right now is a tragedy in the making,” Falwell said. “Democratic leaders in Richmond, through their elitism and radicalism, have left a nearly unrecognizable state in their wake.”

The announcement from Falwell and Justice drew laughs from both sides of the aisle in Virginia.

A spokeswoman for Virginia’s Democratic Gov. Ralph Northam dismissed the idea, saying “As always, Jerry Falwell’s words speak for themselves.”


Trump unveils Middle East peace plan with two-state solution, tunnel connecting West Bank and Gaza

Source: Fox News (best headline)

President Trump on Tuesday called for a two-state solution to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as he unveiled the details of his administration’s much-awaited Middle East peace plan.

Trump announced the proposal alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during remarks in the East Room of the White House.

While Trump and Netanyahu praised the plan as a way toward ending the decades-long conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians, odds of the peace plan taking shape are long given that the Palestinians have preemptively rejected the plan.

"This is a great deal," Trump said. "And the Palestinians may not have this opportunity ever again."

Read more: https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-middle-east-peace-plan-includes-two-state-solution-tunnel-to-connect-west-bank-and-gaza-strip

Long but funny - Rickles on Carson. 1973

Super Bowl ad SPOILER

See link

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