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calimary

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Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 57,828

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Thank you, too, peabody.

I'm grateful she was there for me. I'm glad she's there for all of us women. She's been doing this, on this beat, for decades. My experience was in the late 70s. I had to go back and edit - reflexive assumption that it was 30 years ago. Nope - it was 40 years ago. And she's been on the forefront of this issue since before then. She already was THE legal go-to on this issue well before I ever sat down to that lunch with her that day. She's been On. It. as far back as I can remember being aware of women standing up for themselves against abuse, assault, and molestation. Who else has been, in all this time? Anybody? We've had some big-name high-profile women attorneys - Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama, Attorneys General Janet Reno and Loretta Lynch, Sally Yates, Leslie Abramson, Marcia Clark, Marian Wright Edelman, Amal Clooney, Laura Wasser, Elizabeth Warren, Zoe Baird, Kimba Wood, Lisa Bloom (Allred's daughter), and the handful of women seated as Supreme Court Associate Justices. But there aren't a lot. And it's mainly Allred who's distinguished herself in this particular arena.

Women are lucky to have such an ally. Unrelenting, brilliant, gutsy, shrewd, willingness to put up a fight, and impervious to intimidation.

Thank you, Achilleaze.

Thanks, back.

I realize it's easy to regard her askance. She's another "uppity woman." She's not afraid to be combative. A lot of men have problems with that. Women are supposed to be soft and mooshy and yielding. We're the ones told not to complain, not to shout, or make a scene, to know our proper place, and if WE don't think we're in a "proper place", we're expected to shut up, not make a fuss, and "lie back and enjoy it."

We can only HOPE that attitude is dying out.

I appreciate this from you.

So few men understand. So few men really "get" this. Especially straight men. Probably because they've very seldom been prey. And with someone like trump, it doesn't even matter if they have daughters.

Thank you so much!

I'm old enough to remember the commercial slogan (I think it was for Virginia Slims cigarettes) "you've come a long way, baby." Even back then, I'd sneer. "Yeah? Ya think so, 'eh?"

Thank you, PearliePoo2.

I still thank my lucky stars that this kind of thing is all that happened to me. When I think of what other women have endured, SHEESH. Some of their stories sound positively unendurable - especially at the age they were then. And back then in THAT era. Our fight, as women, for true and full equality and autonomy, won't be over for a long time, I'm afraid. Especially as long as monsters like donald trump and Roy Moore walk the earth and as long as there are masses of Deplorables eagerly providing cover, excuses, distraction, deflection, justification, and all the rationalizing you can eat.

Oh heavens, Maven, NO need to apologize!

I've actually relived that experience several times, just in sharing with other women, and with my kids. Especially with my son the band boy, who wanted to hear all of my radio stories whenever we were in the car together. Nice to have credibility with one's kids, 'eh?

Most of those who deserve comeuppance, as I've found, usually get what they deserve. The big-ass new-arrival deejay got fired a few months later, after failing to make the ratings go up. He floundered around while his wife, who was a GIGANTIC talent in the voiceover world, brought home the bacon. He eventually landed another gig here in town, and that was a better match. He did quite well, but never quite made it where he really wanted to: in television. He had at least a couple of attempts to launch a late night show, but failed.

Most of 'em from that period wound up getting fired. So what else is new? That's what happens in radio. Sometimes it's deserved, and when it's justified, it can really make one feel pretty good. Linda Ellerbee once said you can't really regard yourself as having arrived as a broadcaster until you've been fired at least once. My dad called up the general manager and complained. He never told me the details but one morning that offending jock went on the air and mentioned me, since listeners were asking what happened to me (which was true!), and he wanted everyone to know that I'd gone on to a bigger job at NBC Radio and they all missed me and wished me well. His sidekick news dude who moved to L.A. with him failed. Got fired, and then didn't get picked up anywhere else in town. I think he went back where he came from. He never made it out here on his own.

The general manager who insinuated that I'd never work in this town again got fired, himself. So did the nasty loudmouth PD, who always got big and read and potty-mouthed in a lava eruption of foul language at the top of his lungs (hard to do when you're barely five feet tall! Napoleon complex, anyone?) - he didn't last, either. I think he did move around in the L.A. market to some extent, but I very happily stopped keeping track. The "good guys" I kept in touch with, and in a few cases wound up working with, again.

I never wanted to make any trouble. Part of the reason I liked being on morning drive. By the time we were finished, after the 9am news, that was pretty much it. We were done for the day, and after some production work (or for us newsies, public affairs interviews and such) we'd leave! Eventually I had to stick around for the noon news, but after that, I'd head out, too. Any way you sliced it, you missed the big traffic rush in the morning, or in the afternoon. Back then, the "lunch rush" wasn't as big a pain in the ass as it is here in L.A. now. For such hellacious hours, commuting to and from work was a BREEZE! Not a morning went by that I didn't have most of the L.A. freeway system to myself! I figured that the only other cars I'd see on the road were other deejays hurrying to work at other stations around town!

It hasn't been as hard for me to relive my experience, as I mentioned elsewhere here, because mine don't hold a candle to some of these! Like the woman who gave tearful testimony with Gloria Allred just today. You could just hear her agony, going back through that in public. Who does that just for a lark, or to make trouble? Gloria Allred would sniff out a phony, anyway. She understands grandstanding VERY well.

And one other thing I'll say about her. She doesn't gossip. Gloria Allred has to have handled most of the biggest and messiest and noisiest sex discrimination or abuse cases over several decades. She's represented TONS of big names and wives-of-big-names. And she doesn't dish about it. It's just not her thing. And you get that, clearly, just hanging around her. She's not that way. Don't expect any "inside dirt." She keeps all that in the strictest confidence. She knows she needs to be trusted. I sat with her for a rather long and weepy lunch that day. NOTHING was ever said about any of her other clients or suspected clients, even to advise or warn me. I wasn't a news reporter digging for some scoop, either. I appreciated that - it was good to know, in case I ever needed to become her client. Which I never did need to do, but I knew I could trust her.

She did tell me, before we left for lunch, that a typical day for her, visiting some radio or TV station or network outlet for one of her frequent interviews, she'd walk down any hallway and invariably pass a woman who'd quietly press a note into her hand as she walked by. She said that happened all the time - mainly to illustrate just how much injustice there was (and undoubtedly still is) toward women in the workplace, how much disrespect, how many violations, insults, come-ons, mistreatment and discrimination of every sort, and all kinds of other predatory behavior we still seem always to be tripping over. She's fought the good fight for so many women who were jeered, sneered at, not taken seriously, dismissed as mere sex objects, liars, golddiggers or "a woman scorned" looking merely to settle scores or ruin some poor unsuspecting man. Watching that latest victim come forward and sob through her story today, out there in front of the world and all the microphones and cameras, willing to face becoming a target, took me back to that restaurant table with Gloria that day. Except there were no mics or cameras there that day, just she and me. And my large wad of soggy kleenex. I'll never forget how she stood by me that day. She's Wonder Woman to me.

Nor will I.

Thanks, sweetie.

Thanks for the kind words, Glorfindel! But I've gotta say - my experience pales next to some of these outrages now being described openly, on audio/video and in print, by women who speak out in public and reveal their names, who've suffered degradation LIGHTYEARS worse than mine! Hell, I got off easy!

And I got to thinking - shit, all these women coming forward. And a close friend just confided that she's suffered more than one rape during her younger days. And at the last high school reunion, we shared confessionals and one came up regarding years of parental abuse - that literally left me stunned and mouth agape like some big deep sea grouper fish! NOTHING was said. NOBODY knew. You really get in touch with that old cliche "there's a world of hurt out there." The bottom line thought that gripped me was - is there NO woman who HASN'T been abused, gravely and grievously, at some point along the line?

And I wonder if people will start taking this crisis more seriously?
Will people instinctively lean toward believing the (female) victim?
Will we get beyond such knee-jerk reactions as "what was she wearing?" or "she asked for it" or "well, it's her word against his" or any number of weasel phrases?
Will giving the man a pass because whatever, mainly because he's a man, finally be a thing of the past?
Will women EVER be treated as something other than a mere plaything for the fleeting and random satisfaction of some man?
Will we grow and evolve OUT of this?

And this too: ARE OUR BODIES REALLY OURS? Seriously? Now that we have an admitted sexual predator and molester in our White House (whom a sizable number of voters still support), does that mean that predatory behavior in general is now okay? Normalized? Validated? Approved? Like the sharks do in the Manhattan real estate world (which is where trump comes from)?

I'm so dizzy with delight that this many women have gathered up their courage, and have been bolstered by supporters, and come forward about these abominations. This shit is NOT okay. It's NOT EVER okay! I don't care if the so-called "pResident" says it's okay. It ISN'T and he's WRONG. And he's not legitimately in that job anyway. And it looks like all these disparate faces and names and voices are standing up, and turning the tide. I've never seen it like this. Oddly enough, during the time I worked at that afore-described radio station where the hideous morning degradation happened, I produced a five-part series on rape that would run during one week's newscast. I interviewed rape victims and counselors and even a perpetrator, to hear it all from them. That was back when women weren't believed. And they knew it. They knew they'd go through hell. They knew they'd be PUT THROUGH hell. The defense attorney would dig into THEIR backgrounds and question their credibility and their honesty and their character and some would be really ruthless about it. And many of their friends wouldn't believe them, either. In effect, it was almost like they were being raped again. Defiled again, being put through all that, after they already suffered one massive and degrading ordeal.

I heard some woman on TV this afternoon remark about how amazed she was that people were actually starting to take the woman's word for it. Which had NOT been the way it was, before. Only now, since Harvey Weinstein, has anything changed. It was teetering on the bring with Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly and Bill Cosby. But now it seems the tipping point has been reached and the actual tipping is now underway.

Amazing. This finally means something.

My pleasure.

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