Zorro
Zorro's JournalProud Boy to Be in Prison Until He Is Elderly Boy
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After receiving a twenty-two-year sentence, a former Proud Boy acknowledged that he will be in prison until he is an Elderly Boy.
“Yes, I will eventually be an Elderly Boy,” Enrique Tarrio told reporters. “However, let’s be clear: while we Proud Boys are considering changing the name of our group, ‘Elderly Boys’ is not one of the options in the mix.”
Tarrio said that, because of the behavior of other former Proud Boys at their trials, “Despondent Boys,” “Weepy Boys,” and “Belatedly Remorseful Boys” were all names that the organization was considering.
“We’ve been holding focus groups, but so far there’s been no consensus,” he said. “We may have to bring McKinsey in on this.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/proud-boy-to-be-in-prison-until-he-is-elderly-boy
Trump is on track to sweep California's delegates in presidential race, poll shows
Former President Trump dominates his rivals so heavily that he’s on track to win all of California’s delegates for next year’s Republican convention — a haul that would give him a major chunk of the votes needed to secure his third presidential nomination.
The finding from a new UC Berkeley Institute of Governmental Studies poll co-sponsored by the Los Angeles Times highlights a turnabout from earlier this year. In February, Trump faced a serious challenge from Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis among California Republicans.
The potential for Trump to win all of the state’s delegates also reflects his campaign’s work to change the rules of the contest to his advantage.
In late July, the California Republican Party changed its rules so that if a candidate wins more than 50% of the statewide vote in the state’s March 5 primary, he or she will claim all 169 GOP delegates — the most of any state in the nation. Previously, the rules allocated delegates by congressional district. A candidate needs just over 1,200 convention delegates to win the nomination.
Trump’s campaign pushed for the rule change, one of a series of such shifts it has backed in states across the nation. All of the changes supported by his campaign have the effect of helping a front-runner quickly nail down the Republican nomination.
https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2023-09-06/poll-california-voters-biden-age-trump-legal-problems-presidential-race-primary
A Huge Threat to the U.S. Budget Has Receded. And No One Is Sure Why.
For decades, runaway Medicare spending was the story of the federal budget.
Now, flat Medicare spending might be a bigger one.
Something strange has been happening in this giant federal program. Instead of growing and growing, as it always had before, spending per Medicare beneficiary has nearly leveled off over more than a decade.
The trend can be a little hard to see because, as baby boomers have aged, the number of people using Medicare has grown. But it has had enormous consequences for federal spending. Budget news often sounds apocalyptic, but the Medicare trend has been unexpectedly good for federal spending, saving taxpayers a huge amount relative to projections.
“Without a doubt, this is the most important thing that has happened to the federal budget in the last 20 years,” said David Cutler, a professor of health policy and medicine at Harvard, who helped the Obama White House develop the Affordable Care Act.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/09/05/upshot/medicare-budget-threat-receded.html?unlocked_article_code=OLSX_L8ssXE5DHWwWpeDm0dsA2R15mFPJ84JANLvIXxdpIeOt9vnV_oKG3hHjGLwqoX5Hdl1gMCPa8PlHFfVOYqhG6kSkSccCzUrwi77MTD0cRfh9mNDBHMeEtdiMrhohBSZGvWo8chTciyHAgyk5CzuHiV5TXOVtMKIYziEtDRSwpSNrQDL9OoKu3tEj48cFJs67YX14-jHoThykjJbXGNJqnOF4jwSLjOmmmoWuYHbb2r2qw6d3zUTlnAVALyyl2sWJRX1hmaIWxAWEnnKAjfV7ua9ZJJGTD0DG7FNP4CUQXi3zyqM7-pe5-qgPM9vZ62zhySIHo7XBto4Q-1Ur_XyFclflp9hnUJD3DGeEKr9JZecNj3D&smid=url-share
Some encouraging news for a change.
Home insurers cut natural disasters from policies as climate risks grow
Some of the largest U.S. insurance companies say extreme weather has led them to end certain coverages, exclude natural disaster protections and raise premiumsIn the aftermath of extreme weather events, major insurers are increasingly no longer offering coverage that homeowners in areas vulnerable to those disasters need most.
At least five large U.S. property insurers — including Allstate, American Family, Nationwide, Erie Insurance Group and Berkshire Hathaway — have told regulators that extreme weather patterns caused by climate change have led them to stop writing coverages in some regions, exclude protections from various weather events and raise monthly premiums and deductibles.
Major insurers say they will cut out damage caused by hurricanes, wind and hail from policies underwriting property along coastlines and in wildfire country, according to a voluntary survey conducted by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners, a group of state officials that regulates rates and policy forms.
Insurance providers are also more willing to drop existing policies in some locales as they become more vulnerable to natural disasters. Most home insurance coverages are annual terms, so providers are not bound to them for more than one year.
That means individuals and families in places once considered safe from natural catastrophes could lose crucial insurance protections while their natural disaster exposure expands or intensifies as global temperatures rise.
https://wapo.st/45T2qGa
I'm sure DuhSantis and his ilk will get right on addressing the problem -- by labeling the insurance companies as "woke" while also demanding more political contributions from them to "insure" that no meaningful legislation is passed.
How wildfires are threatening the Mediterranean way of life
RHODES, Greece — As flames approached the 19th century Monastery of Panagia Ipseni, the nuns inside steeled themselves. A village seer in the 1990s dreamed of women in charge of the sanctuary’s cloistered life, prompting the Orthodox church to replace its male monks with sisters. Now those nuns refused to leave — vowing to keep the wildfire at bay with prayer and water buckets.
But this was no ordinary blaze. In what seemed like minutes, superheated gyres engulfed the workshop where the sisters labored over icons of Saint Meletios and the Virgin and Child. Smoke filled the monastery’s mosaicked courtyards. The olive orchards and vineyards that provided their livelihood erupted in flames.
“It was like seeing hell,” said Mother Superior Mariam Nikitiadi.
In a summer of megafires across the northern hemisphere, the Mediterranean region is confronting what from on the ground has seemed an existential threat. A toxic mix of extreme heat and drought, together with human malice or carelessness, has set the region ablaze, costing dozens of lives and untold millions in damage.
https://wapo.st/3Z4KlTq
This is the consequence of over 30 years of climate change denial. And today's reality still isn't persuasive enough to sway the opinions of our Republican Presidential candidates.
Republicans Urge Americans To Look Away From McConnell Or Else They Too Shall Freeze
WASHINGTON—Following the second press conference in five weeks during which the 81-year-old was temporarily unable to speak, Republicans warned Americans Thursday to look away from Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lest they too should freeze.
“Good people! Gaze not upon the senator’s visage or you may be struck dumb yourselves—and not for a mere 30 seconds, but for all eternity,” said Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel, who explained that everyone in attendance when the Senate minority leader froze at an event in Kentucky yesterday was now locked in a catatonic spell that would never be broken, with many reporters still holding their microphones and voice recorders in outstretched arms, waiting for a reply they would never hear.
“Please, we beg you, no matter how many viral videos, images, or news stories may tempt you, do not look into Mr. McConnell’s cold, dead eyes, for their paralysis will infect you and leave you trapped forever at a single point in time and space. Look away, look away!”
Asked a follow-up question, a look of horror came over McDaniel’s face and fixed itself there as she stood stock-still and silent behind her podium, where she remained as of press time.
https://www.theonion.com/republicans-urge-americans-to-look-away-from-mcconnell-1850792733
Tesla discounts Model S by $30,000 and Model X by $41,000 to gain EV tax credits
Source: Bloomberg via Yahoo Finance
Tesla Inc.’s latest discounts will newly qualify one of its models for federal subsidies that Elon Musk said years ago the U.S. should scrap.
By dropping the starting price of the Model X to $79,990 — a $41,000 reduction from the start of the year — Tesla made the sport utility vehicle eligible for the federal tax credits revamped by the Inflation Reduction Act, President Joe Biden’s signature climate bill
Musk in December 2021 called for the Biden administration to get rid of the incentives, citing concerns about government spending and the deficit. At that time, Teslas were no longer eligible for the tax credits because the company had already reached a limit that triggered a gradual phase-out of the benefit.
“I’m literally saying, get rid of all subsidies,” the chief executive officer said during a Wall Street Journal conference. When asked if his opposition had anything to do with the effect this would have on competitors, Musk replied: “Maybe they need it, I don’t know.”
With the Inflation Reduction Act, Biden discarded a cap on how many vehicles each automaker could sell before the credits began to wind down. The administration also set maximum retail prices at $80,000 for electric SUVs, vans and pickups, and $55,000 for cars.
Read more: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/tesla-discounts-model-30-000-142300452.html
This is a pretty drastic price cut.
Trump Said He Was Too Busy Saving Millions From 'Nuclear Holocaust' To Commit Fraud
Donald Trump said he was too busy doing “the most important job in the world” and “saving millions of lives” from “nuclear holocaust” to commit fraud, according to a newly released transcript from New York Attorney General Letitia James’ investigation into the former president and his business.
“So you were too busy for the company?” Kevin Wallace, a lawyer for James’ office, asked Trump during the April 2023 deposition.
“In a way, yeah,” Trump responded. “Yeah, I think you can say it. It’s another way of saying it. I was very busy. I was — I considered this the most important job in the world, saving millions of lives.”
“I think you would have nuclear holocaust if I didn’t deal with North Korea,” he added. “I think you would have a nuclear war, if I weren’t elected. And I think you might have a nuclear war now if you want to know the truth.”
The remarks from the seven hour deposition was the former president’s effort to distance himself from his own company as he seeks to evade responsibility for James’ fraud allegations. The attorney general has claimed in her $250 million lawsuit against Trump, his children and the Trump Organization that the company routinely inflated the value of its assets to save money on bank loans, insurance, and taxes. She is seeking a $250 million penalty from Trump and wants to permanently ban him from doing business in New York state.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-said-he-was-too-busy-saving-millions-from-nuclear-holocaust-to-commit-fraud
Matt Schlapp's CPAC Team-Building Exercises Sound Fun, If You're Into Exorcisms
OK so you know how CPAC conservative family values hero Matt Schlapp and his Christian wife Mercedes “Mercy” Schlapp are having a fucking shitfit this week? There are new allegations that say Monsieur Schlapp tried to yank additional peens besides the one in the ongoing lawsuit from the former Herschel Walker staffer who says Schlapp tried to pummel his junk without his consent. Oh yeah, and we just found out Schlapp reportedly tried to settle with that dude.
This whole time Schlmatt and Schlmercy have been pretty sure this is a coordinated attack on them from the Daily Beast and Dark Lord Satan himself, who is definitely real and not just a character from an extremely long children’s fantasy book called “Holy Bible.”
Oh. My. Lord. They have been on Twitter posting pictures of their favorite saints and begging those saints to rain down hell on the Daily Beast. It’s so deranged. “Our Lady of Guadalupe, strike down the BEAST,” tweeted Schlmatt. “St Michael the Archangel take down the beast,” tweeted Schlmercy, with a bit less flair and punctuation.
We guess all this has put people in the mood to spill more Schlapp Schlecrets to (natch) the Beast. Now Roger Sollenberger is bringing us the story of that time last year when Matt Schlapp got a priest to come in and do exorcisms to get all the demons out of the CPAC offices.
https://www.wonkette.com/p/matt-schlapps-cpac-team-building
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