Steve ("I don't know what I'm talking about either" ) Doocy just finished saying, "Now that Obama has failed in his attempt to stir up racial tensions to the point where we'd have riots in the streets (another presidential failure, I might add), a lot of people wonder where he's planning to go from here. . . . . His goal, of course, is profound racial discord and civil disruption, but what will his strategy be? . . . And why does he hate America so much? . . . . To answer these questions, Laura Ingram is up after the break. . . . Stay right here on Fox & Friends, fair and balanced as always."

Bill ("Fair and balanced if you use my scales!" ) O'Reilly is saying, "Meanwhile the streets of one-hundred cities were littered with wanta be thugs, weeping baby-momas, big mouthed preachers, scruffy no-good types acting out, pimps, drugged out homies, and a bunch of liberal simps. . . . What I really wonder is where were the protests for George Zimmerman? Where were the thoughtful members of conventional society gathered to speak out about the necessity of arming themselves, . . . and standing their ground . . . and maintaining their cultural heritage no matter the costs? . . . Where was the majority of this country when the rebellious gangsters and hip-hoppers were screaming in the streets for blood? . . . Unless we stand together and stop this hateful and misguided hoard, our country is going to look like The Projects Writ Large, . . . Coast-to-coast car jackings, muggings, home invasions and drive by shootings! . . . And that's The Memo for tonight, fair and balanced as always, now onto our top story: Just why does Obama hate America so much?. . . ."

Sean ("Are you talking about the same thing I am?" Hannity is saying: "And I say that Obama wasn't calling for peace or understanding. . . . He was clearly calling for all-out rebellion! . . . Anything but peace between the races! . . . Anything! . . It's like he thinks he's John Brown or Malcolm X or somebody. . . . I'm told he has a picture of Che Guevara in the Presidential bedroom, . . . but I can't reveal my source. . . . Furthermore . . . (blah, blah, blah.)"

?5

Sean (Limbo Expert*) Hannity is saying, "Obama is trying to start a race war with his bellicose rhetoric! . . . You know why Obama really compared himself to Treyvon? . . . Because both were wanta-be-thugs, they smoked marijuana and crack, wanted to run a string of whores while in still high-school, and were probably responsible for several local murders of rival gansters!! . . ... . . . And then then Obama has the gall to unleash hate speech in the Press Briefing Room!!! . . . Imagine the gall!!! . . . It's just too bad George Zimmerman hadn't been around back then!"


*How low can you go?

The middle bimbo is saying: "How dare our critics accuse Fox News anchors and commentators of parroting talking points. It's just that we all see what's clearly in front of our face, what no person of sense can possibly deny unless they're the lackeys of an ideology: that there was nothing, nothing, racial about the Trevon Martin-George Zimmerman incident or trial that followed, . . . Nothing!, and furthermore, every thinking, intelligent person can see right through Obama's profoundly intemperate race baiting! Bringing up race in a post-racial world . . . What does he want? . . . To see violent riots in the streets? . . . Hell, we agree because we're right, that's all."

Rick ("I care so much I hurt" Scott is saying, "Here's what I say to critics, Tucker. Stand Your Ground is a great law! . . . One of the best of the best, in fact! . . . It not only gives us pride in our ability to defend ourselves, our love ones and our property, but freedom as well. . . . With a carry permit, we can walk in anywhere, like an abortion clinic for instance, and if someone tries to kick us out, . . . well, that someone had better be packing. . . . Which gets me to my last point. . . . As a law, Stand Your Ground has been a bonanza for the gun industry, including all the Florida workers, manufacturers, retail and wholesale sellers, etc. . . . It's win, win, win. . . . How can you beat that?"

Liz ("I wear earplugs at night to keep the dreams from spilling out and ruining the pillow. Learned that the hard way." Cheney is saying, ". . . and when I am elected to the Senate, Chris, my tenure will be marked by the same probity, honesty, legality, forth-rightness, and intelligence as the administration my father was instrumental in during the first eight years of this century. . . . I can only hope that I will be as wise and consistently right."

Michele ("A bird once flew in my ear and was trapped" Bachmann is saying: "Just how is it disrespectful to say that Congress should spank Obama's nasty black ass? . . . Huh? . . . I didn't say ' Obama's nasty, naked black ass'! . . . I respect the presidency too much for that!"

Ted (post-lobotomy with its fresh, lemony smell lingering in the air), Nugent is saying" "I am 'looking at it objectively,' what do you mean? . . . Geez! . . . I think Zimmerman can damn well sue Trayon's parents for every cent they have or will ever see. . . . Look at all he's been though! . . . All they lost was a son, . . . and these types don't care whether they live or die anyway. . . . Fair's fair, after all."

Ted ("The head is for a hat" Nugent is saying: "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? That sinister Black Panther thug set up George Zimmerman!!! . . . He bought the Skittles just to make sure he was noticed, then enticed Zimmerman to follow him by acting like a rapping gangster, like he's packing, all hip and shoulder sway, you know . . . and then when he got Zimmerman just where he wanted, that dark s.o.b. leapt out of the shadows and started pummeling him just so he could get shot and cause a national crisis. . . . In other words, Treyvon Martin was nothing more than an urban terrorist!!! . . . The Commies like to recruit blacks because they don't care if they die or not. . . . Geez! . . . And people call me 'racist'! "