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skip fox

Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,102

About Me

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).

Journal Archives

A quickening of the thickening. Please come CAPTION The Donald!!!

Donald ("I have to get up an two hours early to comb my hair" Trump is saying, "You bet, Chet. My investigators in Hawaii have turned up some shocking, and I mean shocking, information. . . . An atom bomb! . . . When we release what they've found they're going to have to re-write the science textbooks, especially on the nature of space and time. . . . You just wait, you won't be able to believe it!"

The complete amputation of intelligence. Please come CAPTION Head Wreck!!!

Glenn ("Huffing gas beats the bottle any day" Beck is saying, "There's one great revenue stream nobody is mentioning, Bill, and I know why! . . . We could privatize the National Mall and let developers build little shops and small buildings in the open spaces. . . . Or at least lease out small lots. . . . But no one in the government even suggests this because they know when the public sees little strip malls with convenience stores, jewelry shops, and casinos and so on, nobody will bother visiting their precious museums and snobby libraries and they won't be able to rationalize throwing billions of the taxpayers' dollars at institutions nobody wants anyway. . . . Why does it always take me to figure this stuff out???"

"Hey Mister, what's that coming out of your ears?" Please come CAPTION Ted Cruz!!!!

Ted ("I'm a lover, not a hater" Cruz is saying: "The problem with those so-called Republicans, Bill, is that they simply don't love their country enough to shut it down."

Mammon breathes. Buchanan listens. Please come CAPTION Pat Buchanan!!!

Pat ("Rap music makes me sh*t myself" ) Buchanan is saying, "Well Greta, I am shocked, but I can't say I'm surprised. Another senseless killing by teenagers (or 'thrill kill' as they call it) just proves what I've been saying for years now: that with the breakdown of the family and the lack of parental supervision, monsters like these will engage in wild fornication, drugs, sex, and gambling, and when they get bored with that, they'll maim or kill some honkey 'for kicks," I think is how one put it. . . . Heck, by the age of some of these creatures, they already have one or two baby-mommas and a tattooed tear running down their cheeks. . . . All they know is getting high, drinking cheep wine, rolling dice, selling drugs, low-riding cars with flashy rims and harassing 'whitey.' . . . In fact they won't be happy until they've gotten rid of all vestiges of 'whitey.' . . . Mark my words!. . . . And they call me racist!!! . . . Imagine."

Just how evil is Dick Cheney? Let me count the ways . . .

Three years ago, DU’er arbusto_baboso posted a list explaining how evil Dick Cheney is. In that tradition, I offer this.

Dick Cheney ate the school girl's heart for a start.
Dick Cheney never heard a good lie he didn't wish he had written.
Dick Cheney's penis is as big as his conscience.
Dick Cheney sleeps to the howls of babes.
Dick Cheney prowls in the back alleys of your nightmares.
Dick Cheney put the delirium in fever dreams.
Dick Cheney was nursed on serial axe murder.
Dick Cheney's wet dreams rival Jeffrey Dahlmer's.
Dick Cheney writes laugh tracks for snuff flicks.
Dick Cheney checks in weekly with Charles Manson for psychological "tempering."
Dick Cheney sticks pins in a person and the doll dies.
Dick Cheney has the Merdus touch.
Dick Cheney once felt the beat of his heart and had it "corrected" immediately.
Dick Cheney is a serial murderer in his fondest dreams.
Dick Cheney stole the Grinch's Christmas and shoved it up his ass.
Dick Cheney dreams like sewer pipes running in spate.
Dick Cheney defines horrific death as a normal state.
Dick Cheney died when he was 8.
Dick Cheney once had compassion for another schoolboy and couldn't sleep for weeks.
Dick Cheney carries a gat in his back pocket in case he want to "make a point."
Dick Cheney meditates with tapes of waterboarding on his earphones.
Dick Cheney slaps himself every day of his life because he once gave a beggar a dime.
Dick Cheney thinks "If it's good for me, it's good for The Legion below."
Dick Cheney thinks, "Hell, it's better to reign down here than even get a blowjob in heaven."
Dick Cheney abhors peace like nature abhors a vacuum.
Dick Cheney is all for animal rights as long as he’s the animal.
Dick Cheney thinks Jack the Ripper was a wanker.
For Dick Cheney, Satan makes house calls.
Dick Cheney never let a disaster go unappreciated. (Not as good as the Spanish Inquisition of which he admired the artistic loveliness of thumbscrews.)
Dick Cheney gave blood. The patient died.
Dick Cheney got lost in a mirror and hasn't been scene since.
Dick Cheney can only make his nut when populations are suffering on the screen.
Dick Cheney thinks Mein Kampf the scribblings of a provincial adolescent.
Dick Cheney can only find his pecker when he thinks of severed body parts.
Dick Cheney is what you get when brothers and sisters don't practice safe sex.
Dick Cheney thinks Ann Coulter is a do-gooder.
Dick Cheney likes jalapeno high colonics . . . they keep him "regular."
Small animals keep dying around Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney dines out with cape and fangs.
Dick Cheney ties his pecker in a knot . . . says it makes him feel "wanted."
Dick Cheney's fan club is armed to the teeth.
Dick Cheney thinks if anybody got a raw deal it was Judas.
Dick Cheney stays up nights imagining the end of days.
Dick Cheney's poison is another man's light.
Dick Cheney has the four horsemen on retainer.
Dick Cheney has VIP reservations for the ninth circle.
Dick Cheney invented the flamethrower.
Dick Cheney makes Faustus look like a schoolboy dabbling in the occult.
For Dick Cheney "penis enlargement" means another invasion.
Dick Cheney's notion of compassion is as large as his endowment.
Dick Cheney's favorite hero is Iago, his favorite sidekick Judas.
Dick Cheney thinks water-boarding, no matter what else you say about it, has a "super entertainment factor."
Dick Cheney thinks war is the natural state of things. (Actually, that was Ambrose Bierce . . . I'm stealing here.)
Dick Cheney strokes the panther and smashes the dove.
Dick Cheney likes children because "you don't have to tenderize them."
Dick Cheney has notches on his memo pad.
Dick Cheney thinks water-boarding, no matter what else you say about it, has a "super entertainment factor."
Dick Cheney thinks war is the natural state of things. (Actually, that was Ambrose Bierce . . . I'm stealing here.)
The devil blanches. Dick Cheney is coming.
Dick Cheney is all for animal rights as long as he’s the animal.
Dick Cheney puts broken glass in both shoes to help him “calm down.”
Dick Cheney put the furious bit on the edge.
Dick Cheney strokes the panther and smashes the dove.
Dick Cheney likes children because "you don't have to tenderize them."
Dick Cheney judges his movies by their body counts.
Dick Cheney applauded the final solution even though he thought it didn't go far enough.
Dick Cheney thought Marquis de Sade was a writer of instructional manuals.
Dick Cheney thought Hansel and Gretel almost upset the balance of the universe.
Dick Cheney's tapeworm lived on stomach acid and knew Machiavelli by heart (a heart that exceeded his host's by leagues and leagues). Now he must find a new home. He's considering Rove.
Dick Cheney leaves an indelible stain as a legacy.
Dick Cheney looks best in the past tense.
Dick Cheney, R.I.P. (I.e., rest in a percent, say one-tenth, . . . of the torment you brought to others.)

This is what happens when brothers and sisters don't practice safe sex. Come CAPTION Steve Doocy!!!!

Steve (the lonely synapse) Doocy is saying: "Not one cent of the taxpayer's dollar should go to support an outfit like National Public Radio which is intent on promoting values directly contrary to those held by the majority of thinking Americans: ideas like empathy, tolerance, racial and sexual equality, a living wage, social justice, understanding of our nation and other nations as well as history and art, not to mention so-called literature, etc. . . . The list goes on and on! . . . Can you imagine what America would be like if values like those promoted by NPR were in effect? . . . I don't know about you but it scares the stink out of me! "

At end of day, he sings his blues away. Please come CAPTION Numb Nuts for old time's sake!!!!

Comfortable at last, riding a shoeless melody on his front porch, ol' Numb Nuts is singing,

"No memoes, no distractions,
No lawyers, no infractions,
But lazy days of hazy waste
And nights of drunken blaze
Are stretchin' out before me.

Yes to nothing, brainpan's leaking,
Yes to Bozo's flatline thinking,
Days of snortin' snowwhite lines
Nights of swimmin' liquid shine
Are stretchin' out before me.

The man with the nerf-edge wit, gnat intellect, and vast vacuities. Come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!!

Sean (a quickening of the stupid) Hannity is saying: "When the matter of his dual citizenship was brought to his attention, Ted Cruz immediately decided to renounce his Canadian citizenship. . . . Which raises the obvious question: 'Why, Mr. President, after over five years, haven't you renounced your Kenyan citizenship?' . . . Let him try to lie his way out of that!"

Drunk on rat p*ss. Please come CAPTION Ted Cruz!!!

Ted ("HUAC was a good beginning" Cruz is saying: "There's a big difference between being born in Canada and being born in Kenya. . . . Canada borders the U.S. and shares our values as well as our language. . . . Being born there is like being born in Joplin, Missouri. . . . But Kenya is way across an ocean and their citizens look different and speak differently than we do, and their values have not evolved to meet ours, . . . not even close! . . . . You might as well be born on Mars as in Kenya!! . . . So it's important, Chris, to see what the framers of our Constitution had in mind."

"Please, God, more mirrors!" Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!

Sean ("In my dream, my head was a tombstone. Could it mean something? I can't figure it out." Hannity is saying: "I got news for you, folks. Cumulus is not dropping me. On the contrary, I'm dumping them like a last week's garbage!!! . . .They just couldn't properly showcase my talent. . . . On another front, Fox isn't taking my time slot away, I'm giving it to Megyn Kelly, because she needs a chance at prime time and couldn't possibly get there on her own. . . . Likewise, my audience is not deserting me, I'm purposefully offending the moderates and pansies out there in order not to be bothered. . . . Like I've said over and over, I'm still running the board!!!"
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