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skip fox
skip fox's Journal
skip fox's Journal
September 17, 2013
Rand Paul ("I think I'm in love with my Ayn Rand blowup doll!"
Paul is saying: "And not only should we restore felons' voting rights upon release, we should allow and even encourage them to buy weapons and receive carry permits . . . . even before they're released! . . . There'd be a lot fewer fights and prison rapes if people knew Shorty's packin'!"
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CAPTION loosely based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/17/rand-paul-felons-voting_n_3941171.html
The Senate is a terrible thing to waste! . . . Please come CAPTION Rand Paul!!
Rand Paul ("I think I'm in love with my Ayn Rand blowup doll!"
Paul is saying: "And not only should we restore felons' voting rights upon release, we should allow and even encourage them to buy weapons and receive carry permits . . . . even before they're released! . . . There'd be a lot fewer fights and prison rapes if people knew Shorty's packin'!"
******************************************
CAPTION loosely based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/17/rand-paul-felons-voting_n_3941171.html
September 17, 2013
Rush ("Every minute without a lie is a minute lost" Limbaugh is saying: "Caller, caller. . . James. . . . Settle down and give me a moment to refresh your memory. . . . The Obama administration has presided over disaster after disaster after disaster: Bush left him a robust economy, and Obama drove us off the fiscal cliff, losing millions of jobs and causing a global financial meltdown; Obama drug his heels on Katrina until almost half-a-million of people died; Obama ignored warnings that could have prevented the hijacked planes from killing thousands of our fellow citizens, etc., etc., etc. The list goes on and on and on! . . . . Just what's wrong with your memory, James-from-Georgia?"
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CAPTION loosely based on the following Media Matters story:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/09/16/limbaugh-still-cant-believe-obama-inherited-dee/195898
Suffering through a day with no end in sight? Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!!
Rush ("Every minute without a lie is a minute lost"
Limbaugh is saying: "Caller, caller. . . James. . . . Settle down and give me a moment to refresh your memory. . . . The Obama administration has presided over disaster after disaster after disaster: Bush left him a robust economy, and Obama drove us off the fiscal cliff, losing millions of jobs and causing a global financial meltdown; Obama drug his heels on Katrina until almost half-a-million of people died; Obama ignored warnings that could have prevented the hijacked planes from killing thousands of our fellow citizens, etc., etc., etc. The list goes on and on and on! . . . . Just what's wrong with your memory, James-from-Georgia?"
********************************************
CAPTION loosely based on the following Media Matters story:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/09/16/limbaugh-still-cant-believe-obama-inherited-dee/195898
September 16, 2013
Archbishop John ("I'll tell you what made Jesus rise so quickly!!" Nienstedt is saying: "I hold in my hand, right here, the answer to the origins of all mankind's values. . . . And it says the root of the gay lifestyle and sexual practices as well as the current tide of gay marriages is attributable to one thing: SATAN!!!! . . . Not only that but he invented porn and condoms as well as hard-to-open plastic bags, loud garbage men in the predawn, thinning hair, and diaper rash. . . . Whereas Jesus invented wine, loaves and fishes, sandals that let the naughty toes peek out, and choir boys."
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The above CAPTION is loosely based on the following story at Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/15/minneapolis-archbishop-gay-marriage-satan-john-nienstedt_n_3927615.html
"Satan has limp wrists!". . . . Please come CAPTION anti-gay Archbishop John Nienstedt!!!!
Archbishop John ("I'll tell you what made Jesus rise so quickly!!"
Nienstedt is saying: "I hold in my hand, right here, the answer to the origins of all mankind's values. . . . And it says the root of the gay lifestyle and sexual practices as well as the current tide of gay marriages is attributable to one thing: SATAN!!!! . . . Not only that but he invented porn and condoms as well as hard-to-open plastic bags, loud garbage men in the predawn, thinning hair, and diaper rash. . . . Whereas Jesus invented wine, loaves and fishes, sandals that let the naughty toes peek out, and choir boys."
******************************************************************
The above CAPTION is loosely based on the following story at Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/15/minneapolis-archbishop-gay-marriage-satan-john-nienstedt_n_3927615.html
September 15, 2013
Alex ("I don't know about you, but I'm ready for the apocalypse!" Epstein is saying: "Fracking is not only great for the economy, Clayton, but for the environment as well. . . . It's like giving the earth a seltzer to calm its upheavals, to let it give off gas. . . . And if some of that gas gets into the water supply, we shouldn't complain. . . . It's like getting free butane right out of your faucet. . . . It's win-win as I see it!"
*******************************************
CAPTION very loosely based on the following story at Media Matters:
http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/09/14/fox-guest-fracking-is-actually-incredibly-good/195885
A frack-a-day keeps sanity at bay. Please come CAPTION Fox guest Alex Epstein!!!
Alex ("I don't know about you, but I'm ready for the apocalypse!"
Epstein is saying: "Fracking is not only great for the economy, Clayton, but for the environment as well. . . . It's like giving the earth a seltzer to calm its upheavals, to let it give off gas. . . . And if some of that gas gets into the water supply, we shouldn't complain. . . . It's like getting free butane right out of your faucet. . . . It's win-win as I see it!"
*******************************************
CAPTION very loosely based on the following story at Media Matters:
http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/09/14/fox-guest-fracking-is-actually-incredibly-good/195885
September 14, 2013
Bill ("How could my wife leave me? How could anybody?" "Listen, if Treyvon would have been dressed with a jacket and tie, like you Mr. West, he'd be alive today. . . . But it was because he looked like a gansta. . . . The story is about the breakdown of the family and this gansta culture we've got, it's not about white people hunting down black people. . . . But I'll tell you, I sure wouldn't be surprised if people start picking them off when they come out of these so-called urban clothing stores. . . . I mean, they've to protect themselves somehow! . . . You agree?"
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The actual clip this CAPTION is based on at Media Matters contains probably 75% of O'Reilly's actual words. Incredible. It's getting very, very difficult to satirize these freaks.
http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/09/13/oreilly-trayvon-martin-died-because-he-looked-h/195882
"Zimmerman on Rushmore? Maybe it's a bit early to speculate." Please come CAPTION Bill-O!!!
Bill ("How could my wife leave me? How could anybody?"
"Listen, if Treyvon would have been dressed with a jacket and tie, like you Mr. West, he'd be alive today. . . . But it was because he looked like a gansta. . . . The story is about the breakdown of the family and this gansta culture we've got, it's not about white people hunting down black people. . . . But I'll tell you, I sure wouldn't be surprised if people start picking them off when they come out of these so-called urban clothing stores. . . . I mean, they've to protect themselves somehow! . . . You agree?"
***************************************
The actual clip this CAPTION is based on at Media Matters contains probably 75% of O'Reilly's actual words. Incredible. It's getting very, very difficult to satirize these freaks.
http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/09/13/oreilly-trayvon-martin-died-because-he-looked-h/195882
September 14, 2013
Charles ("It's High Noon every minute of every day" Phelps is saying: "And this little baby is for home protection. . . . Let's grab a brew and go out back. . . . I'll show you what I got in the garage in case the black helicopters show up."
Always packing! Always stacked. . . . Please come CAPTION Second Amendment Charlie!!!
Charles ("It's High Noon every minute of every day"
Phelps is saying: "And this little baby is for home protection. . . . Let's grab a brew and go out back. . . . I'll show you what I got in the garage in case the black helicopters show up."
September 14, 2013
Gretchen (two thoughts in a row would be a stretch) Carlson is saying: "Nobody can tell me we don't live in the greatest land there ever was. . . . Heck, most of the Canadians wish they were Americans. . . . And I know the Mexicans wish they were Americans. . . . Tough luck guys."
A bird in the bush is worth an empty hand. Please come CAPTION Fox's Gretchen Carlson!!!
Gretchen (two thoughts in a row would be a stretch) Carlson is saying: "Nobody can tell me we don't live in the greatest land there ever was. . . . Heck, most of the Canadians wish they were Americans. . . . And I know the Mexicans wish they were Americans. . . . Tough luck guys."
September 13, 2013
"George ("You talkin' to me?" Zimmerman is saying: "I'll tell you, Sean, Lake Mary's Police Chief has got a lot of gall to call me 'a ticking time-bomb'. . . . If anybody's the time-bomb, he's the time-bomb! . . . Him and everybody else. . . .That's why they should thank God to have me out there! . . . . Packing . . . and with a back-up. . . . All these people just ready to explode!!! . . . Even the kids! . . . Haven't you noticed the way they look at you when they pretend to be playing??? . . . Calling me a time-bomb!!!. . . Imagine! . . . Hell, from now on I'm carrying two backups, a blade, and four extra clips!!!"
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The story that sparked this CAPTION is on Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/13/steve-bracknell-george-zimmerman-comments_n_3919759.html
Looking down the hard throat of a Colt. . . . Please come CAPTION George Zimmerman!!!
"George ("You talkin' to me?"
Zimmerman is saying: "I'll tell you, Sean, Lake Mary's Police Chief has got a lot of gall to call me 'a ticking time-bomb'. . . . If anybody's the time-bomb, he's the time-bomb! . . . Him and everybody else. . . .That's why they should thank God to have me out there! . . . . Packing . . . and with a back-up. . . . All these people just ready to explode!!! . . . Even the kids! . . . Haven't you noticed the way they look at you when they pretend to be playing??? . . . Calling me a time-bomb!!!. . . Imagine! . . . Hell, from now on I'm carrying two backups, a blade, and four extra clips!!!"
*********************************************
The story that sparked this CAPTION is on Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/13/steve-bracknell-george-zimmerman-comments_n_3919759.html
September 13, 2013
Rush ("I like to dry hump a wire brush. It gives me an edge." Limbaugh is saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, the ghetto is taking over America. . . . I mean, drive past any street corner and realize that for each young African-American or Hispanic that you see, behind the scene there are at least three of four baby-momas, each off which has three or four babies by different fathers, each of which will grow up to have at lease three or four baby-mamas and daddies themselves, not to mention a thousand more kids. . . . It's a Ponzi scheme. . . . It's just like if you see one cockroach on the counter that means there are millions more in the walls . . . . and they're all around you just waiting to come out! . . . . Just how is it racist to point out the obvious? . . . It's just math, ladies and gentlemen."
When nothing is better. . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh.
Rush ("I like to dry hump a wire brush. It gives me an edge."
Limbaugh is saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, the ghetto is taking over America. . . . I mean, drive past any street corner and realize that for each young African-American or Hispanic that you see, behind the scene there are at least three of four baby-momas, each off which has three or four babies by different fathers, each of which will grow up to have at lease three or four baby-mamas and daddies themselves, not to mention a thousand more kids. . . . It's a Ponzi scheme. . . . It's just like if you see one cockroach on the counter that means there are millions more in the walls . . . . and they're all around you just waiting to come out! . . . . Just how is it racist to point out the obvious? . . . It's just math, ladies and gentlemen."
September 12, 2013
Glenn ("Huffin' gas is just the way I start the day" Beck is saying: "Outside these same yahoos are calling me an extremist and racist (calling me names is the best they can do, by the way) just because I noted Obama was the traitorous lapdog of Putin, the dancing monkey the Russian organ-grinder keeps to beg for change and pick his fleas cutely (oh so cutely!), a Muslim Al-Queda wanta-be, hip-hop loser, limp-arsed gansta with half-a-dozen baby-mamas, and so on!. . . . And they're yelling at me!. . . . Imagine!"
The mind's a terrible thing to disgrace. . . . Please come CAPTION Head Wreck!!!
Glenn ("Huffin' gas is just the way I start the day"
Beck is saying: "Outside these same yahoos are calling me an extremist and racist (calling me names is the best they can do, by the way) just because I noted Obama was the traitorous lapdog of Putin, the dancing monkey the Russian organ-grinder keeps to beg for change and pick his fleas cutely (oh so cutely!), a Muslim Al-Queda wanta-be, hip-hop loser, limp-arsed gansta with half-a-dozen baby-mamas, and so on!. . . . And they're yelling at me!. . . . Imagine!"
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