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skip fox

skip fox's Journal
skip fox's Journal
July 1, 2013

Gravitas is for losers. Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!!

Donald ("A trial's too good for him" ) Trump is saying: "Not only should we execute that little twerp, Edward Snowden, we should sell lottery ticket to see who gets to flip the switch on that filthy scumbag. . . . I know I for one would buy at least 10,000 tickets!"
July 1, 2013

Marriage of gays? No flippin' way, Charley. Please come CAPTION Kansas's Tim Huelskamp!!!

Tim ("Two guys kissing makes me go all buttery inside&quot Huelskamp is saying, "That's why I am not only going to introduce a Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marriage but I'm going to make sure that no one is able to skirt the law by getting sex-charge operations after marriage, or wearing gender inappropriate clothing during marriage, or speaking in a gender opposite voice, or engaging in gender inappropriate behavior. At least not while married. . . . America's a free country. Let's keep it that way."
July 1, 2013

Please come CAPTION Sarah Palin's choice as spokesperson for her new Freedom Party: A. E. Newman!!!!

Alfred E. Newman is saying: "Sarah Palin wants me to be her spokesperson on global warming, women's rights, immigration reform, gun violence, corporate maleficence, the infrastructure, abortion rights, growing wealth disparity, and pollution. . . . I wonder why?
July 1, 2013

Dignity is as dignity does. Please come CAPTION Rick Perry!!!

Rick ("Thinking's just another fad&quot Perry is saying, "Yes sir, I sure do believe in the dignity of human life above all things . . . all things! . . . That's why I say anyone standing in the way of this abortion bill is dead, finished, kaput, over, done, zip, nada, wiped out, cooked, nothing-on-a-stick, roadkill candy, a used condom, a wasted piece of human meat, fruity hemorrhoid cream, a node of pain-over-more-pain, a soggy tampon, a turd on a string, a. . . ."
July 1, 2013

What war on women??? Please come CAPTION Ohio's Republican governor, John Kasich!!!

John ("Women should be mothers&quot Kasich is saying "Just to be clear: Ohio is not anti-woman and does not believe that the Republican Party in engaged in a 'war on women.' Such ideas come straight from the liberal media. . . . In fact, this new abortion bill indicates that Ohio wants more women, . . . that's why we want less abortions. . . . Yes, in the long run we want more women, real women, women who will stay at home to raise a family, women who know their very important role in the family, who will aid the male in his decisions and help institute his desires while maintaining the home in an orderly and frugal manner, women who don't keep yakking about a mythical 'glass ceiling,' women who don't get tattoos or take judo classes, women . . . "
July 1, 2013

Who needs choice when you're getting "the act"? Pleace come CAPTION Peggy Noonan!!!

Peggy ("These are not our bodies, they're the state's!&quot Noonan is saying" I think it is incorrect, George, to say the Texas law is intended to close abortion clinics. . . . In fact, it's trying to do just the opposite: trying to facilitate as many safe and clean abortions that are truly needed, ones which indicate the mother has a full and intellectual realization of the abortion's implication both for her life now and later, abortions that are recommended in writing by at least three locally registered clergymen with a certified, notorized deposition that the father has no qualms or qualifications, ones where the abortionist also qualifies as a psychotherapist, that he or she be assisted by at least five licensed abortion associates, at least one of whom teaches as a tenured chemistry professor at the nearest university at least on a part-time basis, that (blah, blah, blah). . . . No, George, Texas is not trying to get rid of abortion clinics, far from it!"
June 30, 2013

Sunday, the bouquet of days. Please come CAPTION Pep Boys Wanta Be, Bret Baier!!!

Bret ("The facts? No sweat.&quot Baier is saying: "Some say Mandela is not ill at all but actually a spry 94-year old who plays badminton seven days a week. They say he faked an illness just so he did not have to meet with Obama, reflecting the contempt felt around the world for the United States under this administration, the most inept, corrupt and hidden, by the way, in the history of the Republic. . . . Well that's it for Special Report, "fair and balanced" as always. . . . Now stay tuned for Shepard Smith who has heard rumors of a drug-and-prostitution ring being run out of the Oval Office.. . . . Goodnight and stay safe."
June 29, 2013

"The Wicked Witch of the West was a powder-puff." Please come CAPTION Gretchen Carlson!!!

Gretchen ("Did anyone notice my legs?&quot Carlson is saying: "And Mr. Rogers, that evil, evil man, taught our kids they were special just for being who they were and they didn't have to work or strive to be special or even earn the respect of others and in fact were entitled to a carefree existence of mindless simplicity. . . . Mr. Rogers, my rear-end! . . . Like 'Mr. Hitler' or 'Mr. Genghis Kaahn' or 'Mr. Hannibal Lecter!. . . . He was a madman and a criminal and should have been prosecuted. . . Who else would encourage such a sense of vacuous self-esteem, of belief over thought, of mindless egoism? . . . And over television to boot!"
June 28, 2013

Who let the hen into the fox-house? Please come CAPTION Fox's Tucker Carlson!!!

Tucker ("Just call me a genius&quot Carlson is saying: "So if they're right and there was no 'stand-down order,' that's even more damning. . . . Much more so. . . . Just who was it didn't give that order? . . . What wasn't on his mind or in his plans? . . . And who didn't he work in collaboration with . . . or perhaps under the orders of? I mean under whose direction didn't he take orders? . . . Something's very, very fishy!"
June 27, 2013

Glenn Beck is working up a case of the wet-works, Please come CAPTION the ninny!!!

Glenn ("Sometimes I'll punch myself in the nuts during commercial" ) Beck is saying: "I've learned to cry without pissing myself. . . . But it took a lot of pretty messy practice."

Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,361

About skip fox

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).
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