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skip fox

Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,084

About Me

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).

Journal Archives

Just like Cory Booker but without the brains and character. Come CAPTION Steve Lonegan, R., NJ.

Steve (The one-man gravitas machine) Lonegan is saying, "God knows I'm tired of unfounded innuendo as much as the next guy. . . . That's why I'm not, repeatedly not, saying Cory Booker is gay, nor that he meets other men in dark alleys and comes out a mess, often with love bites and bruises, nor that he undresses men with his eyes every time he sees them. . . . None of that!. . . . I'm just saying that if I was in the gym's shower with him, I'd be using Soap-on-a-Rope just to make sure."

Admire the fecal glow, then please come CAPTION Ted Nugent!!!

Ted ("I've have my brain on hold for over four decades now" Nugent just finished saying, "What I wanta know is how is it racist to point out the obvious? . . . I got a lot of flack when I said that Medicare and entitlement programs have done more harm to African Americans than slavery and the KKK put together. . . . I can take the flack (in fact I thrive on it!), but I should elaborate just for the record. . . . With slavery blacks had their food given them and healthcare provided, just like today, but slavery gave them something to do!!! And people with something to do have more meaningful lives and live happier and longer. . . . And with the KKK, . . . well, they didn't linger around like today! . . . So I'd like for somebody to tell me just how the crap is it racist to point out the obvious??"

The Conscience-Free Zone. Please come CAPTION Donald Rumsfeld!!!!


Donald ("Where did all this mad f*cking hatred come from?" Rumsfeld is saying: "Foreign intervention should only be contemplated when an administration sees a direct and present danger to our nation based on clear, firm, and irrefutable evidence. . . . That is, if he sends missiles into Syria, Obama should be prosecuted for war crimes as well as treason against The United States of America!!!"

"It's Yahweh or the Highway!" . . . Please come CAPTION Pat Robertson!!!

Pat ("God tickles me in my sleep" Robertson is saying: "But I wanted to talk about these gays, . . . these so-called gays, because they don't seem happy much less 'gay' at all. . . . In fact they seem downright miserable. . . . Which is why they want to make everyone else miserable as well. . . Wow. . . That perfectly leads in to what I wanted to talk about: homosexuals using rings to infect us regular, God-fearing folk with A.I.D.S.. . . . Isn't it wonderful how God directs my thoughts???"

A CAPTION a day keeps the rethugs away. Please come CAPTION Fox's Eric Bolling!!!

Eric ("Taking a Dump on the Truth Every Day of the Week") Bolling is saying "And we've since learned, by studying that census report carefully and applying certain statistical methods, that requiring a voter I.D. does not only not suppress minority voting, it increases it!!! . . . All of which suggests that if we make even more demands prior to allowing an African-American or Mexican-American to vote (say a little test or example of problem solving), they will vote in even higher numbers!!! . . . . Only a racist would argue against such proposals."

"Ma, he stole my ball again!" . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!

Rush (The Evaginator of the Whine) Limbaugh is saying: "Friends tell me I sound 'just like Martin Luther King!' . . . I'm quoting. . . . Not just the voice itself, . . . or even the vocal patterns, or enunciation, . . . or the particular phrasings and pauses for emphasis so our audience can contemplate our profound thoughts and the soundness of our arguments, . . . but the thoughts themselves!, the values and ideals!, . . . even the empathy and the ever-present weight of a spiritual imperative! . . . . Who would believe it?"

The grape is on the vine; the wink is in the wine. Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill (the original pill) O'Reilly is saying: "Listen, in this country most of our poor are that way because of poor personal decision making. . . . It's almost as though they have a thing about it, a phobia or obsession. . . . They want to be poor. They glory in it! . . . It's unbelievable! . . . Why should anyone help them, especially the federal government? . . . An that's it from The Mailbag. . . . Next, our Back-of-the-Book segment: Just why won't The New York Times review any of my books? . . . Stay tuned."

Everytime I open my mouth, my face disappears!" Please come CAPTION The Donald!!!

Donald ("She was behind on her rent, so I had to kick Mom out. I didn't feel good about it, you understand" Trump is saying: "Bill, I simply disagree with them, is all I'm saying. . . . The students at Trump U got a heck of a lot more than they paid for at $32,000 a pop. . . . Each one received an in-depth examination into the heart of cut-throat capitalism, learning in the most indelible way that any person or corporation, no matter how trusted or famous, has a single, three-part purpose: to strip them of as much of their assets as possible, give as little as they can in return, and do it as quickly and efficiently as the conditions allow. . . . We're sort of 'hands on,' as they say."

A letter from my mother. Deepest regrets.

Aug. 25, 2013

Dear Democratic Underground:

My son, the CAPTIONer of the OP, admitted to having plagiarized the above CAPTION from real life. He has confessed to me that, in a period of extreme laziness, he merely streamlined and tweaked what Mr. McKelway actually said. The evidence against him can be seen in full at the following Fox site:


He humbly begs your forgiveness for this act of plagiarism, realizing it could impinge upon his retention at CAPTION College and that his plea (“Sometimes it’s impossible to satirize these freaks!!!”) cannot excuse his actions nor should it alleviate your distemper.

He has been severely punished by his father and herewith begs re-admission to CAPTIONing classes.

He will spend 200 hours in the following year painting and refurbishing our home as an act of contrition.

Shamefully but sincerely,

Ms. Fox

"I have a nightmare!" Please come CAPTION Fox's Doug McKelway!!!

Doug ("The only good dream ends with you having to change the sheets" McKelway is saying: "Yes, Greg, it was fifty years ago today when Dr. Martin Luther King gave his historic 'I Have a Dream' speech which helped usher in bills protecting minorities and promoting racial equality as well as initiating a culture of dependence and fatherless homes which has spread to Europe and now threatens modern civilization itself. . . . So you're right in claiming Dr. King's speech has had significant national and international implications. . . . It's truly heartening, Greg, to see the outpouring and love for him five decades later!"
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