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November 21, 2013
George ("Eat lead, Wiseass!!!"
Zimmerman is saying, "Your Honor, I don't think it's fair to call me 'out of control.' . . . . I'm not out of control . . . . In fact, I'm very much in control. . . . That matter of choking my girlfriend was a mistake I made while sleep-walking. . . . And throwing all her stuff out of her house, was to announce a new start. . . . I wanted to buy her all new things! . . . And holding a gun to her head was just like a little practical joke she misunderstood. . . . And sending that sex-tape of us to her daughter, . . . well, I thought it was kind of like a family thing. . . . And I can prove I'm in control, Your Honor. . . . I took that $500,000 the N.R.A. sent me and put it all in firearms and military style vehicles and camouflage and stuff. . . . I'm so much in control, Your Honor, I'm more ready for Armageddon than 98% of the population.. . . How's that for being cool and collected?"
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The above CAPTION is based on most recent episode of this narrative-on-its-way-to-hell at DU:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014653400
"Well, Your Honor,. . . ." Please come CAPTION George Zimmerman!!!
George ("Eat lead, Wiseass!!!"
Zimmerman is saying, "Your Honor, I don't think it's fair to call me 'out of control.' . . . . I'm not out of control . . . . In fact, I'm very much in control. . . . That matter of choking my girlfriend was a mistake I made while sleep-walking. . . . And throwing all her stuff out of her house, was to announce a new start. . . . I wanted to buy her all new things! . . . And holding a gun to her head was just like a little practical joke she misunderstood. . . . And sending that sex-tape of us to her daughter, . . . well, I thought it was kind of like a family thing. . . . And I can prove I'm in control, Your Honor. . . . I took that $500,000 the N.R.A. sent me and put it all in firearms and military style vehicles and camouflage and stuff. . . . I'm so much in control, Your Honor, I'm more ready for Armageddon than 98% of the population.. . . How's that for being cool and collected?"
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The above CAPTION is based on most recent episode of this narrative-on-its-way-to-hell at DU:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014653400
November 21, 2013
Trey ("Ramping up, flying forth!" Radel is saying, "Anybody getting government assistant or, in fact, any government money should have to undergo drug testing. . . . Except of course, the people's representatives! . . . I mean, we can't thwart the will of the people and still call this a democracy can we?. . . That just wouldn't make good sense."
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Above CAPTION Based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/20/trey-radel-press-conference_n_4312910.html
"Now I know what a giant schnoz is for." Please come CAPTION ol' Snow-Nose, rethug Trey Radel!
Trey ("Ramping up, flying forth!"
Radel is saying, "Anybody getting government assistant or, in fact, any government money should have to undergo drug testing. . . . Except of course, the people's representatives! . . . I mean, we can't thwart the will of the people and still call this a democracy can we?. . . That just wouldn't make good sense."
*******************************************************
Above CAPTION Based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/20/trey-radel-press-conference_n_4312910.html
November 20, 2013
?ve=1
Mark ("The lotion and Kleenex are for my dog" Levin is saying: "All Oprah can think about is race, race, race! . . . She seems like she can hold only one thought in her head, Sean: how everyone is a racist except her. . . . And she'll never listen to anyone else. . . . But then, what can you expect from these people anyway?"
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The above CAPTION is loosely based on the following Fox Nation story:
http://nation.foxnews.com/2013/11/19/mark-levin-explodes-oprah-winfrey-has-no-idea-what-it%E2%80%99s-live-country-brutally-racist
"Taking a dump on cognition daily for over thirty years." Please come CAPTION wing-nut Mark Levin!!!
?ve=1
Mark ("The lotion and Kleenex are for my dog"
Levin is saying: "All Oprah can think about is race, race, race! . . . She seems like she can hold only one thought in her head, Sean: how everyone is a racist except her. . . . And she'll never listen to anyone else. . . . But then, what can you expect from these people anyway?"
**********************************************************
The above CAPTION is loosely based on the following Fox Nation story:
http://nation.foxnews.com/2013/11/19/mark-levin-explodes-oprah-winfrey-has-no-idea-what-it%E2%80%99s-live-country-brutally-racist
November 20, 2013
Ted ("I need a high-colonic just to think straight" Cruz is saying: "Here's why I think Obama should be impeached. . . . He's out of touch with the American people, he's a bomb-thrower, he has no sense of reality, he wants everything his own way, and most importantly, he doesn't listen to advice even from his own party and just goes ahead and does whatever he wants! . . . How does someone like that get elected anyway??"
"I believe in the democratic process, just not its results." . . . Please come CAPTION Ted Cruz!!!
Ted ("I need a high-colonic just to think straight"
Cruz is saying: "Here's why I think Obama should be impeached. . . . He's out of touch with the American people, he's a bomb-thrower, he has no sense of reality, he wants everything his own way, and most importantly, he doesn't listen to advice even from his own party and just goes ahead and does whatever he wants! . . . How does someone like that get elected anyway??"
November 20, 2013
Charles (a heart of merde with a smile) Krauthammer is saying: "Bill, the truth is that incomes aren't unequal enough! . . . Wealth is far too evenly distributed at present. . . . It's obvious: the only way for the poor to get of a greater share is to give more back to the wealthy. . . . To that end, we should drop capital gains taxes immediately and reduce income taxes on those who make over $500,000 a year to zilch! . . . Then the wealthy will create more jobs so that the poor can pay higher prices for goods and services not to mention higher rent! . . . That's the only way to get this economy moving again! . . . Any boob should be able to understand that!"
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Above CAPTION is based on the following Media Matters story (It's actually rather closely based on that story except for two sentences):
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/19/foxs-krauthammer-claims-any-attempt-to-reduce-i/196968
"Let them eat Twinkies!". . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Charles Krauthammer!!
Charles (a heart of merde with a smile) Krauthammer is saying: "Bill, the truth is that incomes aren't unequal enough! . . . Wealth is far too evenly distributed at present. . . . It's obvious: the only way for the poor to get of a greater share is to give more back to the wealthy. . . . To that end, we should drop capital gains taxes immediately and reduce income taxes on those who make over $500,000 a year to zilch! . . . Then the wealthy will create more jobs so that the poor can pay higher prices for goods and services not to mention higher rent! . . . That's the only way to get this economy moving again! . . . Any boob should be able to understand that!"
************************************************************
Above CAPTION is based on the following Media Matters story (It's actually rather closely based on that story except for two sentences):
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/19/foxs-krauthammer-claims-any-attempt-to-reduce-i/196968
November 19, 2013
George ("Freeze, douche-bag!!!" Zimmerman just finished saying: "Gimme a break. . . . I didn't shoot, did I? . . . I was showing restraint, even though my girlfriend poured all my whiskey down the kitchen drain. . . . Don't worry, I'll be out in no time."
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Above CAPTION loosely based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/18/george-zimmerman-assault_n_4299328.html
"So what if she's pregnant? Grease the *****!" . . . Please come CAPTION George Zimmerman!!!
George ("Freeze, douche-bag!!!"
Zimmerman just finished saying: "Gimme a break. . . . I didn't shoot, did I? . . . I was showing restraint, even though my girlfriend poured all my whiskey down the kitchen drain. . . . Don't worry, I'll be out in no time."
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Above CAPTION loosely based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/18/george-zimmerman-assault_n_4299328.html
November 19, 2013
Steve ("No stinkin' ferret has anything on me!" Doocy is saying: "The question on everyone's minds this morning is 'Why does Obama hate Lincoln so much?' . . . You see, he adamantly refuses to attend the 150 anniversary celebration of The Gettysburg Address. . . Can you believe it???? . . . Some people are saying it's because Obama finds himself at polar opposites from Lincoln. . . . Indeed, they contend, Lincoln freed the slaves, whereas Obama wants to enslave the entire nation with entitlements and free goodies. . . . We here at Fox aren't sure, but that sure makes a lot of sense to me!!! . . . Stay tuned. After the break Fox and Friends will host a fair and balanced debate on how voter fraud threatens the very fabric of our democracy."
A potato in his head almost the size of a normal human brain. . . . Please CAPTION Steve Doocy!!!!!
Steve ("No stinkin' ferret has anything on me!"
Doocy is saying: "The question on everyone's minds this morning is 'Why does Obama hate Lincoln so much?' . . . You see, he adamantly refuses to attend the 150 anniversary celebration of The Gettysburg Address. . . Can you believe it???? . . . Some people are saying it's because Obama finds himself at polar opposites from Lincoln. . . . Indeed, they contend, Lincoln freed the slaves, whereas Obama wants to enslave the entire nation with entitlements and free goodies. . . . We here at Fox aren't sure, but that sure makes a lot of sense to me!!! . . . Stay tuned. After the break Fox and Friends will host a fair and balanced debate on how voter fraud threatens the very fabric of our democracy."
November 18, 2013
Cam (Locked-and-Loaded) Edwards is saying: "Don't you ladies realize that publicizing the fact that you'd been shot increases the pressure on politicians to pass stricter gun laws, . . . but with stricter gun laws there will be less guns out there to protect women, and they will be even more vulnerable. . . . I say, if you get shot, just shut up about it! . . . Why do you want more innocent people to go through what you want through? . . . Or maybe you just don't care!"
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Above CAPTION was loosely based on the following Media Matters story:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/15/nra-news-glamour-honoring-malala-giffords-makes/196918
"God's trigger finger is twitching." . . . Please come CAPTION NRA's Cam Edwards!!
Cam (Locked-and-Loaded) Edwards is saying: "Don't you ladies realize that publicizing the fact that you'd been shot increases the pressure on politicians to pass stricter gun laws, . . . but with stricter gun laws there will be less guns out there to protect women, and they will be even more vulnerable. . . . I say, if you get shot, just shut up about it! . . . Why do you want more innocent people to go through what you want through? . . . Or maybe you just don't care!"
*************************************************************
Above CAPTION was loosely based on the following Media Matters story:
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/15/nra-news-glamour-honoring-malala-giffords-makes/196918
November 17, 2013
Pat ("I'm not going to let the dictionary dictate to me!" Buchanan "Of course I'm a good Catholic, Chris. . . . I simply don't see why Pope Francis has to inject Christianity into everything! . . . It's always about the poor, or accepting gays, or 'What would Christ do?' . . . Geez! . . . I mean, give it a rest, will you?"
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The above CAPTION was loosely based on the following DU story:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=649422
"What was so terrible about The Inquisition anyway?" . . . Please come CAPTION Pat Buchanan!!!
Pat ("I'm not going to let the dictionary dictate to me!"
Buchanan "Of course I'm a good Catholic, Chris. . . . I simply don't see why Pope Francis has to inject Christianity into everything! . . . It's always about the poor, or accepting gays, or 'What would Christ do?' . . . Geez! . . . I mean, give it a rest, will you?"
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The above CAPTION was loosely based on the following DU story:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=649422
November 17, 2013
Laura ("Ann Coulter is my favorite philosopher" Ingraham is saying, "Listen Governor Kasich, don't you realize that Ohio's acceptance of Obamacare's Medicare expansion, a bill you signed into law, plays right into Democratic hands. It will now become increasingly difficult to get rid of Obamacare and shove the whole mess in the electorate's face come next November and in 2016. . . . And what the heck does Ohio get in return? . . . Only a few humdred thousand more citizens with health care coverage, another couple hundred thousand more mentally ill patients out of jail and into treatment, and coverage that will save taxpaying Ohio citizens from paying for these losers when they show up at emergency rooms. . . . I'd say that's a pretty damn poor trade-off!! . . . Excuse my language."
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The above CAPTION was based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/16/john-kasich-laura-ingraham_n_4288489.html
"People are supposed to care. I get it, but. . . " Please come CAPTION Laura Ingraham!!!
Laura ("Ann Coulter is my favorite philosopher"
Ingraham is saying, "Listen Governor Kasich, don't you realize that Ohio's acceptance of Obamacare's Medicare expansion, a bill you signed into law, plays right into Democratic hands. It will now become increasingly difficult to get rid of Obamacare and shove the whole mess in the electorate's face come next November and in 2016. . . . And what the heck does Ohio get in return? . . . Only a few humdred thousand more citizens with health care coverage, another couple hundred thousand more mentally ill patients out of jail and into treatment, and coverage that will save taxpaying Ohio citizens from paying for these losers when they show up at emergency rooms. . . . I'd say that's a pretty damn poor trade-off!! . . . Excuse my language."
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The above CAPTION was based on the following Huffington Post story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/16/john-kasich-laura-ingraham_n_4288489.html
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