October 1, 2015

"I'll make you wish Boehner never even considered resignation!" . . . Come CAPTION Kevin McCarthy!

Kevin ("My favorite philosopher is Orly Taitz&quot McCarthy is saying: "You're exactly right, Sean, the Benghazi Committee did more than just bring Hillary Clinton down. . . . We wouldn't have wasted the taxpayers' time and energy for simply that! . . . We also got pretend we cared about the deaths of that left-wing ambassador and his three stooges, and that's helped the Republican brand shoot up in the polls. . . . It was win-win all the way!"


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Above CAPTION based on the following clip for Fox at Media Matters:

http://mediamatters.org/video/2015/09/29/after-republican-lawmaker-boasts-that-benghazi/205867

September 29, 2015

Fresh blood for House leadership! . . . Please come CAPTION Steve Scalise!!!!

Steve ("I'm only white because I'm right.&quot Scalise is saying: "It doesn't matter that I spoke to David Duke's white supremacy group. . . . That shouldn't make a difference in my bid for House Majority Leader. . . . Heck, that was all in the past. . . . Long ago. . . . Besides, it really shows how well I reflect the values of the Republican membership!"




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Above CAPTION based on the following Huffington Post story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/steve-scalise-majority-leader_5609d2cce4b0af3706dd94fb

September 26, 2015

"Hillary is yesterday's toast." . . . Please come CAPTION Washington Post's Chris Cillizza!!!

Chris ("I hear Fox News might have an opening&quot Cillizza is saying: "Hell no, I'm not obsessed about Hillary's e-mail scandal which will likely land her in federal prison next to other lying, dangerous criminals who have shown no evidence of respect for their fellow humans, much less the law. . . . After all, there are plenty of other things to talk about. . . . But did you know that her private server was designed by a Muslim terrorist? . . . It just came out. . . . And how about those . . . what some are calling 'the hit-man e-mails'?"



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Above CAPTION Based on the following Media Matters story:

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/09/25/50-headlines-that-reveal-wash-post-reporter-chr/205765

September 25, 2015

"I'll give you a tip, alright: lay off the compassion." Please CAPTION Fox's Charlie Gasparino!!!!

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Charlie ("Do unto others before they can do anything to you&quot Gasparino is saying: "Not only was Jesus an unapologetic Capitalist, he was a hedge fund manager as well. . . . What do you think the story of the wine at the wedding was all about, . . . or the loaves and fishes. . . . Geez, didn't anyone read the Bible but me?"


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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks & Liars story:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/09/fox-yakker-jesus-was-capitalist

September 24, 2015

"Let's see your hands, Numbn*ts!" . . . . Please come CAPTION Sheriff Joe Arpaio!!

Joe ("America's favorite trilobite&quot Arpaio just finished saying: "I have the greatest respect for the Constitution and I know he's a judge. . . . But this is America and I have a gun."


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Above CAPTION based on the following DU story:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141215498

September 24, 2015

Editor of The National Peewhew! . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Rich Lowry

Rich ("I dunk my donuts in kerosene. . . . It keeps me regular&quot Lowry is saying: "Megan, objectively speaking I'd have to say that Carly Fiorina castrated Trump at the last debate and now he's singing several octaves higher and walks like chimp in diapers. . . . I hear he's joining Eunuchs Are Us and now sucks p*nis-shaped lollipops and wears frilly pink panties when he wears any at all. . . . But I'm just trying to be objective, Megyn."


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Above CAPTION based on the following Crook & Liars story with a healthy clip:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/09/rich-lowry-tells-megan-kelly-carly-fiorina

September 23, 2015

"No lie too low, no mouth too slow!" . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!

Rush ("Anybody can tell the truth. . . . What's the fun in that?&quot Limbaugh is saying: "I'm the last one to speak ill of the pontiff, and Ladies and Gentlemen, listen closely, I'm certainly not saying that he is or ever was wrapped up in the pedophile scandals that plagued the Catholic Church over the last two decades, but, . . . well, . . . He's a radical Marxist, atheist, gay, tree-hugging hater of capitalism, and Satan's favorite advocate isn't he? . . . It kinda follows."

September 21, 2015

Dear Diary: An Oral Autobiography. . . . Please come CAPTION W.'s return visit!!!!

W. ("I still wonder what happened in My Pet Goat&quot is saying: "And Diary, why, oh why, does Karl keep treating me so mean?Today when I showed him the manuscript of my autobiography where I wondered how I squandered the political capital of 9/11 financing Cheney's wet dream, losing thousands of lives and trillions of dollars, and where I wondered what happened when the greatest economy the world has ever known was nearly bankrupt due to my administration's policies, and about Katrina, and . . .then I wonder what just my legacy might be, . . . and in the conclusion I told exactly how I felt about these things, and still feel. . . Well, Karl didn't have to slap me three times, call me a 'stupid twit,' and shred the manuscript in front of my face, while laughing and slamming back shooters, did he?"

September 19, 2015

"Each time I open my mouth, my mind disappears!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("I'd carve my name into the culture's frontal lobe if I could!&quot Trump just finished saying: "Of course, sir, I'm not endorsing the fact you find Obama a Muslim who was born in another country. . . . Not by any means, . . . but the fact that you bring it up shows that many people aren't satisfied with the official version, and you know what they say: Where's there's smoke there's fire! . . . But that doesn't mean I support what you said, . . . at least not necessarily. . . . Next!"




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Above CAPTION based on the following from New York Magazine:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/09/man-calls-obama-a-muslim-trump-just-nods-along.html#

September 18, 2015

"My outrage has no limit!" . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Andrea Tantaros!!!!

Andrea ("Eating poison keeps me mentally sharp&quot Tantaros is saying: "Why, I think it's an utter outrage that Obama, our so-called president, invited that middle school student, Ahmed Mohamed, to the White House just because he fooled everyone into thinking he had a bomb and got himself handcuffed and cuffed around a bit. . . . What Obama is doing will only encourage more kids to bring false bombs to school and keep kids and teachers from saying anything. . . . It's clear as mud in my eye, what happens next! . . . When another little Mohamed brings a real bomb disguised as a clock . . . Well, the blood will be on Obama's hands. . . . Not that he'll even care. . . . It's an outrage!"

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Above CAPTION based on the following Media Matters piece with a healthy clip:

http://mediamatters.org/video/2015/09/17/fox-host-attacks-obama-for-supporting-the-tx-te/205622