December 23, 2015

"Apologize? . . . For what? . . . For being right?" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("When she told me I was shameless, I thanked her.&quot Trump is saying: "When I said Hillary was 'shlonged' by Obama in '08, I meant he beat her down, . . . like until she was senseless. . . . I would never have considered the word any differently, . . . and to any of the sick press who sees dirty things in that word, well, you're just seeing the maggots in your own brain, morons! . . . There! . . . How is that not believable?"



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CAPTION based on Trump's charged sexist language directed toward Hillary. Here is a CNN clip follow-up wherein Christy is asked to comment about Trump's diction:

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/22/politics/donald-trump-schlonged-is-not-vulgar/

December 22, 2015

"'A woman president?' Are you freaking kidding me?" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!!

Donald ("Wives are great because they don't have to testify against you in court!&quot Trump is saying: "Don't get me wrong, I love women! . . I adore them. . . . But I also know women. . . . And if they haven't yet gone through menopause, watch out! A week every month, what can I say? . . . Do you want that finger on the button? . . . . And if they have gone through menopause, their thinking's no longer good. They're just no longer productive. . . . So believe me when I say, I love women, but . . . Well, . . .you know!"

December 22, 2015

"Merry Christmas, Damm*t!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("'Freedom of speech' means I'm free to tell you what to say.&quot Trump is saying: "The war against Christmas is not just a war against Christ! . . . More importantly, it's a war against Capitalism!!! Retailers' make over 70% of their sales during the Christmas season. . . . Money is exchanged at a mind boggling rate! . . . People are spending more and thinking less than any other time of the year. . . . And these clowns who would destroy this. . . ? Well, how sacrilegious can you get? is all I got to say."

December 21, 2015

"Climate change is a lot like fashion. There's always something new." Come CAPTION Sarah Palin!!!!

Sarah ("You puke, you eat it, pal!&quot Palin is saying: "Michael, let's talk 'real world.' . . . The only way I'd vote for an atheist for president is if the other candidate was an ISIS terrorist. . . . And the only way I'd vote for an ISIS terrorist, is if he was running against an alien with an explosive vest. . . . And the only way I'd vote for an alien in a explosive vest is if he was running against a homicidal genius villain bent on destroying dimensional stability . . . Like I said, let's keep it real, Michael."




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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks and Liars post/story with a Palin-Smerconish interview from CNN:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/12/sarah-palin-i-would-only-vote-atheist-if

December 20, 2015

A Moment of Zen(puffs). . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("I wouldn't be who I am today if I was someone else!&quot Trump is saying: "Of course I know what the nuclear triad is, Hugh. . . . 'Triad' means three, like I'm almost three times up in the polls over my next nearest competitor, and I'm three times as rich as billions and billions of other people on the face of the earth. . . . . Whereas 'nuclear' means getting real mad and smashing stuff, like 'going nuclear.' . . . So it means like getting three times as mad as you just don't want to see me. . . . Cause I can get things done. . . . Plus, I've learned to pronounce 'nuclear' as only two syllables. . . . What do you think I am, dense?"



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Above CAPTION based on the following story:

http://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/donald-trump-has-no-idea-what-americas-nuclear-triad-is-1748283463

December 18, 2015

"I'm sitting on top of the world!" . . . Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill ("Nothing wrong with a little b*tt-plug&quot O'Reilly is saying: "Listen. Bernie, there's not a shred of doubt that these jokers in Black Lives Matter hate, I repeat hate!, their country. . . . I don't think it's too much to say that they'd just as soon live under some hip-hopping rapster who makes up the laws while high on crack, and slaps around his baby-mama just for the hell of it. . . . Why, they'd just as soon sh*t down your throat as vote or pop a cap in your ass as ask where the restroom's at. . . . That's not too much to say, is it Bernie? . . . Ah, Bernie?"

Bernie ("Wipe that face from your smile&quot Goldberg is saying: "Ah . . . ah . . . ah . . . ah . . ."



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Above CAPTION inspired by the following Crooks and Liars story with a healthy clip of these two jokers trying to make words into meaningful-like phrases and garbled exchanges in time:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/12/bill-o-slams-black-lives-matter-activists

December 17, 2015

"Who needs lubricant?" . . . . Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill (Every gerbil's fantasy) O'Reilly is saying: "So the people waging the war against Christmas are like terrorists, making us afraid to dare speak Christ's name during this season or any other. . . . So it only stands to reason we keep a registry of them, maybe bring them in for periodic questioning, a little enhanced incentivizing, etc. . . . Listen, war's war. . . . I didn't make up the rules."


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Above CAPTION is based on the following story in Crooks & Liarswith a healthy clip from Fox's Outnumbered:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/12/bill-oreilly-removing-christian-content

December 16, 2015

For goodness' sake! . . . Please come CAPTION Fox & Friends on the Athesist Santa Billboard!

Screen shot while the three-stooges weigh in.




Steve (The Smarmy Sneer) Doocy said: "It's like a warning. . . . Scaring people, . . . keeping them from going to church. . . . 'Who knows what can happen?'"

Elizabeth ("Someday I'll be older&quot Hasselbeck just finished saying: "Yeah. . . . It's like they're trying to terrorize Christians."

Brian ("I always feel like I just lost something but can't remember what.&quot Kilmeade is saying: "Wow! . . . I got it! . . . That means ISIS is now leading the war against Christmas. . . . What those dastardly cowards won't do next!!!!"

December 15, 2015

"My frontal lobe is the size of an ant's." . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's John Bolton!!!

John ("Who needs lubricant?&quot Bolton is saying; "Well, it's obvious isn't it Greta? . . . If you combine the country's terrorist-caused deaths during the past decade, including he Fort Hood shootings, you get upwards of thirty, thirty-five. Therefore we should care about it far more than, say, the thousands of gun deaths during that same period because there were few such deaths caused by a single ideology and far less caused by a Satanic ideology bent on the destruction of the United States of America!!! . . . It's pure mathematics. . . . oh, and logic."

December 12, 2015

"Hey, LongGuns and Gals, listen up!" . . . Please come CAPTION Sarah Palin on Facebook!!

Sarah ("I always carry a backup.&quot Palin just finished posting:

"Gov't Isn't Sifting Pro-Americans Unalienable 2nd Amendment Rights From Those Following Sharia Law, Which HATES, Our Constitution and Ethics. The batter is too thick and someone can get burned. Besides you'll never know when you'll need a tissue and other things my mother taught me, God bless her tiny heart, so when Obamacare gets mixed up with baby parts while trying to bake a birthday cake for a third-trimester fetus without an oven, some little birdie will be there to tell the tale, ifyou know what I mean. It's just like the state of the judiciary on college campuses today, and you can quote me on that."


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Above CAPTION based on a Facebook post by Palin in this Crooks & Liars story:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/12/snow-snookie-strung-some-words-together-us