August 12, 2016

"Make mine double-extra-super sized!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

(On edit I changed what to the inattentive might be taken for fact. Yet it tracked with the Alex=Jones type of wacko theory.)

Donald ("So I told her, 'If you're not a vegetarian, you have to swallow&quot Trump is saying: "And you wouldn't believe it, folks, what we're finding out. . . . I'm hearing from expert sources, . . . unimpeachable, these people, . . . what they say is gold, . . . from God's lips. . . .They're finding that Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Rotten Clinton were sending arms to ISIS through their extra-terrestrial network which is dedicated to bringing the Califate into being, but I donno. . . . That just what they're saying."


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Above CAPTION based on the following CNN clip at Media Matters:

http://mediamatters.org/video/2016/08/11/cnn-analyst-roger-stone-said-trump-believes-clinton-and-obama-actually-supported-isis-weapons/212345

August 11, 2016

"I pick my teeth with sissies!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!

Donald AssTrumpet is saying: "And folks, you're not going to believe it, but I hear that ISIS is sending thousands upon thousands of its fighters over here with one job and one job only: to illegally vote for Hillary! . . . It's almost impossible to believe, right?"


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Above CAPTION based on Trump's contention that Obama and Hillary co-founded ISIS, as given in the following Huffington Post story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-obama-founder-isis_us_57abd793e4b06e52746f45e1?section=&

August 10, 2016

"Why do I always seem to be washing my hands?" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("Connoisseur of the Fevered Dream&quot Trump is saying: "All I can say, Sean, is that the press twisted it. . . . I'll tell you exactly what I meant when I said the 2nd amendment people might act against Hillary and her stooge judges. . . . And you know how she'll pick them, don't you? . . . They'll have to sign a pledge to vote against the 2nd amendment in order to strip our citizens of their God-given right to own and bear arms. . . . And they'll also have to pledge to uphold Roe v. Wade. . . Abortion clinics will as common in our land as convience stores, which are dangerous enough already. . . . And they love me, the policemen and the firemen. . . . I love them even more! . . . But the press doesn't report that, what I obviously meant, they gotta twist my words to fit their own sick narrative."



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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks and Liars piece with a lovely clip of Donald the Dodger switching topics while a block of solid granite pretends to listen:

http://crooksandliars.com/2016/08/trump-runs-hannity-spin-his-threatening

August 9, 2016

"In for a dime, in for a billion bucks." . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!!

Donald ("I knew a really poor man once. . . . Thought I'd never stop laughing&quot Trump is saying: "So for two whole days I'm presidential. . . . I'm the greatest presidential candidate ever. . . . I'm not going after anyone but Hillary. . . . I'm only speaking well of my fellow Republicans. . . . Fantastic. . . . Now everybody's going to vote for me because I'm being so calm and disciplined. . . .Then those 50 G.O.P. rat bastard, so-called foreign policy experts release some idiotic letter violently attacking me, in part for not being presidential. . . . Imagine! . . . No one is as low as this slime! . . . Not even the press. . . . They should immediately have to go back to hell where they came from. . . . 'Not being presidential,' . . . Hah! . . . What do they know?"



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Above CAPTION based on Trump's intemperate response to the dignified G.O.P. letter signers. The full letter, list of signers, and Trump's response is here:

http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/politics/trump-issues-this-insane-response-after-fifty-gop-security-experts-sign-letter-calling-him-unfit/

August 8, 2016

Sarah Palin, are you out there? Relax. We know what happened.

We know that Trump humiliated you in private (as least we hope it was in private) about hogging up his stage and spewing crazy talk. He likely said something like: "You'll have people thinking I'm a nut just to be with you on stage." And he told you he didn't need you campaigning for him for the same reason.

We understand how hurt you must have been and how hurt you must be still! Once to have been on the doorsteps of Olympus and now to be at Trader Jack's in Wasilla bored out of your pretty little head. All night, "No Hunting" signs flashing in your dreams. It must seem like everything's out of season all the time.

Relax. We have a plan.

All you have to do is let it be known that you're saying really, really terrible things about him in private. About his disdainful behavior toward "the average Joe," for instance. How he thinks his supporters are not only dupes but how they love to be thoroughly and well duped. It confirms the worst he sees in them.

Don't worry about the details; they'll come to you. Just remember this basic theme: Trump thinks his followers are dirt stupid and is having a great time conning them. Laughs about it constantly. Etc. You fill in the rest.

Then we'll see what Mr. Trump Smarty-Pants has to say.

We trust you, Sarah. You got it, girl!

We've only your best interests in mind.

August 8, 2016

"Goldfish got nothing on me!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("Duck Soup was a documentary, wasn't it?&quot Trump is saying: "Hillary's a terribly disturbed individual. . . . Histerical. . . . Terribly disturbed. . . . Like nuts, man! . . .. She's all over the place: a fried rabbit screaming one moment then a raspberry high-colonic. . . . Jesus on a piece toast staring you down over breakfast and then sex-starved zombies chasing you in your dreams the next. . . . What a kook. . . . Totally unhinged! . . . Everyone can tell. . . . All you have to do is listen and look!"


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Above CAPTION base on Trump's planned Clinton-branding this coming week, calling her crazy as he did last Sat. night:

http://www.chronicle-express.com/zz/news/20160806/donald-trump-seems-to-have-new-nickname-for-hillary-clinton

August 7, 2016

"Losers lose. Simple as that." . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("I'd carve my name into the culture's frontal cortex if I could&quot Trump is saying: "Let me tell you, chuck, if I go down in the polls, if I tank as they say, then it's 'Good-bye Electoral College,' I'm outta here. You gotta know when to walk away. . . I'll simply quit. . . . Do I look like a loser to you? . . . I'm a winner. . . . A loser never quits but a winner always quits when he's behind to win another day. . . . Everybody knows that."





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Above CAPTION based on a Meet the Press interview during the primaries at NBC News:

http://www.nbcnews.com/meet-the-press/video/trump--if-my-polls-fall--ill-get-out-of-the-race-538232387661

August 7, 2016

"Thank you, Yahweh!" . . . Please come CAPTION Marco Rubio!!!

Marc ("The thinking man's dunce&quot Rubio is saying:" . . . and I say to them, 'I'm very open minded, and of all people I certainly understand the personal and social costs, but Ziki or no Ziki, I would not allow for an abortion. . . . I don't care if the fetus looks like a tomato, . . . or like a roasted chicken, . . . and will result in a miserable life of barely conscious despair, and for the family, certain penury, . . . there's still no reason to even consider an abortion!. . . . But like I said, I'm very open minded, . . . you wouldn't believe.'"


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Above CAPTION based on the following story by Marc Caputo for Politico:

http://www.politico.com/states/florida/story/2016/08/rubio-no-abortions-for-zika-infected-women-104555

August 6, 2016

"Robots are people, too." . . . Please come CAPTION Donald the Trump!!!

Donald ("I dreamt I had the Merde-us touch, and I never woke up&quot Trump is in the long, tedious process of reading how he feels about Ryan, et al.: ". . . and - I - say - this - (battery low) from - my - inmost - heart. - - - I - give - Paul - Ryan - my - strong - and - heartfelt - endorsement, - knowing - that - together - we'll - advance - our - sacred - party's - mission - and - coalesce - as - one - to - save - our - beloved - nation - until - (battery low) the - end - of - all - time. . . And - from - all - I- call - holy - . . ."


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Above CAPTION based on Trumps robotic performance 8.5.16 at his Green Bay rally, as covered by Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-paul-ryan_us_57a4d2b6e4b021fd98788315?

Longer clip at Crooks and Liars:

http://crooksandliars.com/2016/08/ryan-mccain-and-ayotte-receive-grudging

August 6, 2016

"Conscience is the spine of a fool." . . . Please come CAPTION Megyn Kelly!!!!!

Megyn ("I tried to find my heart in San Francisco. . . . No luck&quot Kelly is saying: "As you know, Howard, I'm no apologist for Donald Trump, but for the life of me I can't see why the fact (if indeed it is a fact) that Melania was an illegal immigrant when she first came here, and subsequently violated her legal status by working here would make any difference to the electorate. . . . Likewise, just because Mr. Trump's subcontractors are notorious for hiring illegal immigrants, then stiffing them on pay and benefits, should not matter to anyone either. . . . That was as a private citizen, a highly successful businessman. . . . And the Melania business was over twenty years ago. . . . Like I said, Howard, I'm no apologist for Trump or his nearly heroic enterprise, but . . ."



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Above CAPTION based on the following NewsHounds story:


http://www.newshounds.us/megyn_kelly_can_t_think_why_it_might_matter_if_melania_trump_was_an_illegal_immigrant_080516