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skip fox

Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,092

About Me

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).

Journal Archives

"What do they mean 'Too wacky for Trump'?" . . . Please come CAPTION Mike Flynn!!!

Mike ("But what about my reputation" ) Flynn is saying, "Listen, Chowder-head, I'll tell you what the difference is between me taking $10,000 from the Russian government and Obama being paid $400,000 to speak at Wall Street: . . . $390,000! . . . That's it! . . . And not you or your viewers can make something more of it."


Above CAPTION loosely based on current investigations into Flynn's possible criminal acceptance of money fron a foreign government and not disclosing that fact properly.

"It's all in the jaw." . . . Please come CAPTION Sean Hannity!!!

Sean ("Last night I had a wet dream about frog, . . . but it wasn't just any old frog" Hannity is saying: "It's the liberal fascists who are driving this story of sexual harassment charges against me. . . . And I can prove it in two completely separate ways. . . . Number one: look at this face. . . . Does it look like I would have to beg for it? . . . No, I'm a good, prime A specimen of an an all-American male, a real stud, some people would call me. . . . And number two: I don't have a chauvinistic bone in my body."


Above CAPTION "occasioned by the following story in New Hounds:


"I'm such a gentleman, I get out of the shower to take a p*ss." Come CAPTION Fox's Greg Gutfeld!!

Greg ("I'd crack a joke at my own funeral if I could. Say, that gives me an idea . . ." Gutfeld is saying: "Bob, I object. I'm not breaking the law. Just how am I 'inciting pro-lifers to riot'? . . . I merely said that if they really believed babies were being killed at abortion clinics, they should start a war. . . . Where are the words 'incite' or 'riot' in what I just said, . . . or did I miss something?"


Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks and Liars story with a healthy, but nasty, clip:


"This is my happy-to-see-you face" . . . Please come CAPTION Tucker Carlson!!!

Tucker ("So much depends on Depends" Carlson just finished saying: "And the reason we're not going to discuss funding for Trump's wall is because that would be falling right into the Mexicans' and nay-sayers' hands like all the other-lame stream media outlets. . . . The truth is that the wall is proceeding directly according to plan. . . . Trump not only counted on some roadblocks, but knew they will prove existential to his overall plan. . . The other outlets won't tell you that, will they? . . . I wonder why not."


Above CAPTION Based on the following News Hounds story:


"What did I just say?" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("My colostomy bag has a designer golden weave" Trump just finished saying: "Well, Dr. Oz, the one thing I learned to do is not watch CNN anymore. . . . I learned this way back in my campaign. . . . You should have heard the things they would make up about me. . . . Even now, I see them bashing me hour after hour. . . . It gets tedious."

Dr. Oz is saying: "But didn't you just say you don't watch them? . . . I mean I have it right here, . . . wait a second . . ."

Trump is about to say: "I mean sometimes I see them in passing, like in the airport, and I can just tell they're spending hours and hours making up lies about me. . . .When I said it was 'tedious', I meant 'predictable'. . . . That should be obvious! . . . Don't try to make me say something I didn't!"


Above CAPTION not too loosely based on an AP int erview as covered by Crooks & Liars:


"I didn't . . . except I maybe did." . . . Please come CAPTION Carter Page!!

Carter ("My mother never believed me either" Page is saying: "Listen, Michael, when I said I had meetings with then-candidate Trump, I was using 'meetings' in the British sense of attending his rallies. . . . So like when I sayid I never colluded with Russian intelligence officials in terms of hacking or arranging the transfer of information to Wikileaks, I was using 'never' in the Faulkland Island sense of . . ."


Several weeks ago, this joker actually made the initial contention above.

The Great "Dumbing-Up"! . . . Please come CAPTION Tucker Carson!!!

Tucker ("Diapers are simply practical"Carlson is thinking: "Now I'll be able to put my patented look to good use. . . . Hell, I've been practicing it since before I can remember. . . . My mom was always giving me pills and making me watch hours and hours of t.v. . . . She used to say I looked smartest when I was quietest, . . . like after pills in front of the t.v. . . . Now I can bring my smart look to Fox's greatest prime time hour. . . . I hope they'll provide me with a drool bucket. . . . Otherwise I'll have to carry the one from home."

Say what? . . . Please come CAPTION Wolf Blitzer and Jason Chaffetz!!!

Wolf ("I'm so much a gentleman, I get out of the shower to p*ss" Blitzer is saying: You mean to tell our viewers that you are getting out of Congress not to avoid the trouble you see coming concerning the Russian-Trump investigation as Chairman of the House Oversight Committee, but simply to spend more time with your family? . . . You expect our viewer to believe that?"

Jason ("Wherever it may lead, except maybe. . . ." Chaffetz is just about say: "No, Wolf, but it's not just that. . . . I've got a whole lot of friends and neighbors back in Utah that I feel an urgent need to reconnect with. . . . Why only last year I had to miss my middle school janitor's retirement party. . . . And my best friend from grade school is thinking of opening up a muffler shop, and I want to be there for opening day, . . . I wanta be there for him. . . . It's so much more than just family! . . . I'm sure your viewers can understandd that!"


Above CAPTION based on the lively speculations of Cenk Uygur of The Young Turks, clip posted on DU):


Mirror, Mirror, on the wall . . . Please come CAPTION Bill (I'm Outta Here) O'Reilly!!!!

Bill (to his home camera/screen) is saying: ". . . and they like it when you say they're pretty or hot or horny or wet or whatever. . . . It's just the limp-dick liberals that define that as abuse. . . . They even like it when you get a little rough, slap them around a bit or use that jalapeno lube. . . . But that makes the liberals piss their pants. . . . If it wasns't for these whiners, we could live in a mature and civilized country. . . .Tell me where I'm going wrong?"

Desk contents: pencil, unopened box of Trojans, well-thumbed dirty joke book. CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!


Bill ("Eat your heart out, God" O'Reilly is thinking: "Yeah, I like the sound of that: The Factor at the Blaze, The Factor on Fire. . . . That's so much better than The Factor on Fox. . . . Hell, a fox is damned near a domestic animal like a cat or a teddy bear. . . . Not like the world on fire. . . . Or how 'bout 'The Factor on the O'Reilly Network'? . . . Wow, that really does it for me, . . . and I'm sure I could find enough backers. . . . I mean if that simpleton Beck could do it, how hard can it be? . . . Or how 'bout 'Bill O'Reilly, The Movie I'? . . . Or maybe I could start a franchise where people can come and pay to hear what I think. . . Or how 'bout . . ."


Above CAPTION based on the joyful possibility that O'Reilly will be cancelled, as discussed in the New YOurk Times:

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