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skip fox

skip fox's Journal
skip fox's Journal
July 31, 2017

"Your signature or your brains will be on this paper!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("A refusal is a call for more direct persuasion in disguise" ) Trump is saying: "Listen, it wouldn't be my fault if Sessions wanted to move from his role as Attorney General to head up the Department of Homeland Security! . . . Maybe that was what he wanted after all. . . . Who knows, he might think he'd do a better job there . . . especially without so many other distractions, . . . humiliating ones, if you know what I mean. . . . No, it wouldn't be my fault if he wanted to move, but I'd sure understand!"


Above CAPTION based on the speculation that Trump might force Sessions to leave his role at Justice, sliding him over to DHS instead of firing him and risking the rejection of many Republicans, so that he might replace him as Attorney General who would not be recused from the Russian matter and then could fire or restrain Mueller, as in the Business Insider piece:
July 29, 2017

". . . and I've grown a taste for eating garbage." . . . Please come CAPTION Reince Priebus!!!!

Reince ("Buddy, can you spare me a dime?" ) Priebus is saying: "Well, Sean, it was really my decision. . . . In fact the President wanted me to stay on until he 'Pushed the botton' or 'Dropped the dime on me,' whatever that means. . . . I mean, I love that man as much as I love my country or my family. Maybe more. . . . But after I found a dead flounder in my White House mailbox, I knew it was probably time. . . . My real reason for suggesting a change, however, was, as I said before, for the good of the country and him."


Above CAPTION Based on Priebus's removal from the Chief of Staff post 7.28.17 sa covered by Slate:

July 28, 2017

Tired of winning yet? . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Donald Trump!!!

Donald (Ring around the gene-pool) Trump is saying: "Just three cowardly, traitorous senators kept us from freeing the nation from the scourge of ObamaCare! . . . What is wrong with these despicable worms? . . . Why are they in government in the first place if they don't know how to get along and work things out? . . . I'll primary their sorry asses! . . . I'll piss on their freaking graves!"


Above CAPTION based on the Senate failure to repeal ObamaCare 7.27.17 as reported in The Hill:

July 27, 2017

"That's why God invented prisons." . . . Please come CAPTION Anthony Scaramucci!!!

Anthony Scaramucci is saying: "I take exception to your premise, Chris. . . . The White House is acting like a highly professional, well-oiled administrative machine. There are no factions or camps. . . . None! . . . In fact, it's probably the best working White House in modern history. . . . And it would be absolutely off-the-charts if some snarly little daisy who calls himself a chief of something-or-another would stop leaking about me to the press! . . . If I catch him at it, I'll squeeze his little head like a pimple in a vice. . . . By the way, Chris, without him the White House would put paradise to shame."


Above CAPTION based on the current (7.27.17) public dispute between Anthony Scaramucci and Reince Priebus as covered by CNN:


July 25, 2017

"Senility's just a state of mind." . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!

Donald ("On my honor I'll throw you under the bus" ) Trump is saying: "And the Boy Scouts teaches young men many important lessons, like the historic electoral college win I had last November, or like Hillary Clinton should be spending the rest of her life behind bars, or like how my golf courses are some of the best in the world, or like how Jess Sessions is toast, or like . . . "


Above CAPTION based on the joke of a speech Trump gave to the Boy Scouts 7/24/17 as covered by NBC:


July 25, 2017

"Like the hangman said, Jeff: 'The first step's the hardest.'" Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!

Donald (The Articulating Turd) Trump is saying: "And fake news is telling everyone I want to fire Sessions so I can replace him with an Attorney General who will fire Mueller, but I'm not going top fire him, even though it turns out that his meeting with the Russian Ambassador was, despite his Senate testimony, campaign-related and substantive in nature. . . . Of course, if he feels he should resign before . . . Well, I hear more leaks just might be coming, something about taking money in exchange for classified information."


Above CAPTION based on the speculation by Rachel Maddow and others that Trump would like to get Attorney General Jeff Sessions to resign so that he could be replaced with an AG who was not recused from the Russian investigation and could, therefore, fire Robert Mueller or severely limit the scope of his investigation as covered by Slate:

July 24, 2017

The man with the Merde-as touch. . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

Donald ("The party's never over until I get there!" ) Trump is thinking: "Now just how should I word this last sentence? . . . How about: 'In addition to the above, and in lieu of them if need be, I also and especially pardon myself for all crimes in the past, present, and future, and all crimes I might cause to happen through a third party, even if they involve the most horrendous felonies like filing false tax returns, money laundering, child rape and/or trafficing, treason, terrorism, and mass homicide.'. . . There, that should cover it."
July 23, 2017

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

Donald ("either your signature or your brains" ) Trump is saying: "Even though a new attorney general wouldn't be recused from the Russian investigation and could therefore fire Mueller, I'd never fire you Jeff! . . . Of course I can't help it if these leaks about you and Russia have even a grain of truth and you feel you have to resign for your good and the good of your family, not to mention your good name, . . .well, I'd completely understand. . . . Of course, if you'd like to wait a day, I'd understand that too."


Above CAPTION based on Trump's desire for a new AG who could fire Mueller before the volcano explodes (i.e., revelations of his financial obligation to Russian oligarchs as well as his role in their money laundering schemes for the past two decades) as well as recent leaked material suggesting Session spoke to the Russian ambassador substantively about the Trump campaign despite his earlier denials:

July 22, 2017

"He's giving senile old men a bad name." (S. Fox, 70) . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("Why can't anybody else think straight?" ) Trump is saying: "So I was worried about winning so much that we'd all get bored, then Russia came up and Jared (he's a great guy, by the way, one of the sharpest I know), well he came along, letting me know about Comey, all the grandstanding and hogging Hillary's e-mails, so over the weekend I was thinking, the Democrats should love me now and have I lost my keys? But I remembered I don't drive. Which is the matter with things. Getting about and seeing things. Like all these leaks and fake news. Meanwhile the economy, can you believe it? If we only had more Russian adoptions. . . ."


Subject line not meant to disturb. I'm elderly and my father died of congestive heart failure and Alzheimers, which I may well suffer from as well in the future, just as I had his late 60s heart attack and 4-way bypass.

So even if the subject tag may be offensive, in context (a potentially senile old man saying Trump gives him a bad name) I think it sweetens the joke. Besides, I have a right.
July 22, 2017

The Sinking Ship of State! . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("You got me into this!" ) Trump just finished saying: "Steve, what do you mean when you say 'Even the rats are leaving'? . . . And why on earth would I want your key to the executive rest room?"


Above CAPTION based on the historic crescendo of events in late July 2017 as Trump ponders firing Jeff Sessions as Attorney General so he can "install" a new one who wouldn't be recused from the Russian matter and, therefore, could fire Mueller. (May you live in interesting times, indeed!)

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 19,356

About skip fox

I am retired, now a professor emeritus at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, where I taught in the English department for 37 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetry though many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. I am writing now, both fiction and poetry, more now than ever. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).
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