April 12, 2017

"No matter what they say, they really like it." . . . Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!

Bill ("Grab them by their tonsils:&quot O'Reilly is saying: "And now on a personal note. . . . I know there will be voices out there that will claim I'm suddenly going on vacation to take the pressure off Fox due to the bogus sexual harassment charges against me. . . . But that's utterly false. . . . This trip was planned far in advance. . . . In fact I bought our tickets a little over a year ago. . . . I know they show a purchase date of 4/10/17, but that was a clerical error. . . . I actually bought them 4/1/16 . . . I remember because I thought that was an odd date, you know, April Fool's and all."



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Above CAPTION based on a clip posted here at DU:


https://www.democraticunderground.com/1017433917

April 11, 2017

Don't forget to unplug the phone when you call. . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!!

Donald ("What are all these papers doing on my desk?&quot Trump is saying: "Listen, Henry, I've got it all figured out. Russian and Iran warn me about bombing Syria for the gas attack, so I double down. . . . Not only do I ignore their warnings, but now I tell them I'll bomb a dozen Syrian airbases or more if Assad even uses any more barrel bombs, . . . then if he does, I'll blast the hell out of him, . . . and if Russian or Iran or anyone else objects, I'll warn them about a full-scale nuclear exchange. . . . It can't lose, Henry, you'll see."

April 10, 2017

A fat w*nker in a black hole. . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("What's your rush?&quot Trump is saying, "Jim, Jim, settle down. . . . You keep harping on the Russian collusion investigation, when clearly today's story is about Syria, and that should last through tomorrow so I can do something to make North Korea p*ss its pants on Wednesday, which will cover another week's news cycle, so that next Saturday I can . . ."


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Above CAPTION based on Trump's actions in the second week of April 2017 as covered by The LA Times:

http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-essential-politics-20170407-story.html

April 9, 2017

Give it up for a former heart and brain donor. . . . Please come CAPTION Steve Bannon!!!

Steve (The Shiv) Bannon is thinking: "That last shot of monkey brains to the spine really cracks my nut . . . I outta start getting shots twice a week. . . . Boy, oh boy, . . . I'm thinking even clearer than when I was huffing gas back of the garage all those years growing up. . . . Yeah, . . from now on, two shots of monkey brains a week! . . . The nation needs a steady hand."


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Above CAPTION based on the dark practical joke the gods are currently playing on our world.

April 8, 2017

"Every time you kiss her, Bill, you'll be tasting my ****!" Come CAPTION Donald Trump on The Factor!

Donald ("You wouldn't believe where this finger has been&quot Trump is saying: "Bill, you have nothing to worry about. . . . Another sexual harassment complaint comes out about you, all I gotta do is send in a couple dozen Tomahawk cruise missiles. . . .The press will forget all about it! . . . Watch what happens if the Russian-collusion inquiries crank back up!"

April 7, 2017

"This office is really aging me. I'll be seven next month." . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!

Donald (Deferments) Trump is saying: "I take your point, Harry, but everybody knows you can't investigate a war-time president. . . . I mean, those are the rules."

April 6, 2017

"I like when it's shaved." . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump on The O'Reilly Factor!!!

Donald ("They're always crawling all over me, too.&quot Trump is saying: "I'll tell you why I call you a good person, Bill. . . . It's because you're not crude, . . . you're subtle, . . like 'nuanced.' . . . . I mean, you don't just go grabbing p*ssy, . . . you use a metaphor . . . like a falafel . . . or lonesome pubic-hair . . . or Hulk-garian sausage. . . . That's some real uptown stuff!!!!"



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Above CAPTION based on Trump defending O'Reilly after ever more sexual harassment incidents, as covered in The New York Times:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/05/business/media/trump-oreilly-fox-murdochs.html?_r=0

April 5, 2017

"But who can blame them?" . . . Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill (God's gift to God) O'Reilly is saying: "The audience knows what's this is all about: . . . A young woman in the office gets terribly attracted to me. . . . I don't know why. . . . I comes natural. . . . Anyway, when I rebuff her unwanted advances, she gets mad, and screams, and throws things, and says she's going to sue me for sexual harassment, which she totally makes up. . . . It's outrageous behavior and shouldn't be tolerated much less condoned in a civilized society. . . . The only reason I make the settlements is for my kids. . . . Otherwise I'd treat the poisonous vipers like they deserve to be treated, . . . believe me."



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Above CAPTION Based on coverage of O'Reilly's sexual harassment settlements as seen in the New York Daily News story:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bill-o-reilly-2004-women-sex-accusations-threat-article-1.3019802

April 4, 2017

"Who needs lubricaton?" . . . Please come CAPTION Devin Nunes!!!

Devin ("A little bird told me&quot Nunes is saying:"Of course, I can be objective, Manu. . . . This matter is way too important for the security of the nation to deal with it in a partisan manner. . . . We have to objectively follow where our investigation leads. . . . So if it leads to Susan Rice unmasking American citizens on her own, or whether it leads to Rice working at the behest of Obama and thus to a criminal investigation that could lead to the prosecution and eventual imprisonment of dozens or even hundreds of former Obama officials . . . Well, it's our duty not to leave a stone unturned and do our duty completely fairly and without bias for the health of the nation."


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Above CAPTION based on Nunes's role as Chairperson of the House Intelligence Committee investigating, preemptively, the Trump team's contacts with the Russians who hack the DNC and affected the outcome of the 2016 presidential election, as noted in the following Huffington Post story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-mccain-devin-nunes-bipartisan-probe_us_58e18adde4b0c777f78851b3

April 3, 2017

"Do your country before your country can do you!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("No reach-around for you, clown&quot Trump is saying: "Oh that Korea deal is going to be so easy, folks, you won't believe it. . . . . All I gotta do is get that Some One Un or who-the-hell-ever in a room alone for 15 minutes. . . . His problem is that he's never been spanked. . . . This is going to be so easy folks!!! . . . You'll see."



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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks and Liars posting:

http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/trump-claims-he-can-totally-solve-north