Senator Cindy ("Jesus loves white people'' ) Hyde-Smith is saying: "It's simply not true that I went to a segregated school. Anybody could attend Lawrence County Academy. It was private, of course, so you had to have the money and also meet certain hygiene requirements, but people wanted their kids to be kept safe. . . . It was all about disease. . . . And when I said I'd attend a public lynching, I thought it meant like a roast where everybody tells jokes and makes fun of a big-wig politician. . . . All in good fun. . . . What's so hard to believe about that?"

Jerome ("Never enough lies" ) Corsi is saying: "Look, it's really very simple I didn't know Wikileaks were going to release Hillary Clinton's emails, I just pretended to talk with them and coordinate the release. . . . I thought it was all a game, honest. . . . I'll stake my reputation on it."

PresiDented ("Happy Thanksgiving to me!" ) Trump is saying: "And all of you guys and gals in the service are keeping us safe here at home and that's why I called: to our express our heartfelt appreciation this Thanksgiving Day, and I'm sure you'd like to hear about our new trade deals, and the Russian witch hunt, and the invasion of terrorist-migrants on our southern border, and black unemployment figures, which I'll get to in a few minutes, but let me begin by saying that the Ninth Circuit Court is trying to undermine America, why . . . "

PresiDented ("I should have won California" ) Trump is saying: "You see, when there's a fire in a tree, you got your first problem. . . . So the trick is to get it out of the tree or not let it get in the tree in the first place. . . . That's like the two things you can do. Or you could not have a fire to begin with. . . . Did you ever think of that? . . . How come I'm the only one who can think of what to do?"

PrediDented ("Mueller who?" ) Trump is saying: "I'm not worried about Mueller. You're worried about Mueller, otherwise why do you keep bringing it up? But his entire investigation is, by the way, a hoax, based on false evidence, the so-called Steele Dossier, and even illegal. . . . Maybe I should have Mueller locked up? Let him twist in the wind for all the damage he's done. . . . Bet you'd like it then! Then you could call for another Special Council. But who would want the job? Answer me that! . . . You can't, can you? . . . But no, I'm not worried about Mueller; why do you keep bringing him up?"

PresiDented ("Praying's for losers" ) Trump is thinking: "No no, there's not enough margin in it, even if I sold them the rights. On the other hand, we'd have the Gaming Board over our side. I'd like to see the bankers squirm when I make a margin call. Besides, it's good bushiness and I'll make over twice what I thought. . . . Is it time to go yet?"

PresiDented "War's an inconvenience, but some ties you gotta remain unpredictable" )Trump is thinking: "Belleau Wood? Almost ten-thousand casualties? Big deal. What's that next to the pride of the American people? . . . And it's not like I haven't sacrificed. You name it. . . . What could they want anyway? They're dead. Besides it's raining."

PresiDented ("Why's everybody crazy but me?" ) Trump is thinking: "I know, I know, I had Whitaker installed as Sessions' deputy, and then we talked constantly about the illegal Mueller probe and the criminality of Hillary Clinton, and how best to effect her imprisonment, just how should that keep him from becoming Attorney General. . . . I don't get it. I just don't."

Donald ("Even the truth is a lie" ) Trump is saying: "You want to know what's devious? My people don't want me to say this, but just so that you know. . . The Muslim terrorists are even more devious than the Democrats and the lying press. . . . They could have just forged some documents, flown to Canada, and then waltzed over the border. . . . But that's too straightforward for these jackals. . . . What they did instead was pick the most South-American looking terrorists among them, made them learn Mexican or Spanish or God-knows-what-the-hell-else, then dressed them in rags, slipped them into Guatemala so they could fit with the other vermin heading north, and set them on their two month journey on foot without food. . . . Talk about devious! . . . Worse than the press, would you believe it?"

Donald ('Take no pensioners" ) Trump is tweeting: "Message from God this a.m.: 'I got your back.' 'Better watch your ass!' I messaged back."