HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » jmowreader » Journal
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 123 Next »


Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 44,927

Journal Archives

Two government agencies set to probe the worst act of idiocy in years


So here's the situation: On Saturday night, a 59-year-old man and a 69-year-old man boarded a 2019 Tesla Model S automobile in the vicinity of the city of Spring, Texas. One of them sat in the front passenger seat, and the other sat in the back seat. No one sat in the driver's seat. It is not known who either man voted for in the 2020 election.

The car then proceeded to miss a curve at high speed, travel 100 feet, plow into a huge tree and catch fire. Both men were, as you would expect, killed.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board are investigating.

And one of the things they SHOULD be investigating is the fact the Spring Fire Department pumped 32,000 gallons of water on the car before the fire would go out. The fire department called Tesla and were told to "just let it burn out on its own."

But seriously, even if your car has "full self driving capability" that the manufacturer swears will not drive itself, who the fuck thinks not at least sitting in the driver's seat is a good idea? Were they, like, drunk off their asses and thought they wouldn't get busted for DUI if they weren't driving?

Songwriter Jim Steinman has died


Steinman is famous for writing Meat Loaf’s hits and Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero and Total Eclipse of the Heart, among other huge hits.

I figured out how to shoot the Trump movie

Imagine a mash-up of The Princess Bride and Goodfellas, with Samuel L. Jackson as the narrator and his real-life child as the one being read the bedtime story. Of course it will be directed by Quentin Tarantino and will, as a result, be entered in the Guinness Book of World Records under the heading “most uses of the word ‘motherfucker’ in a motion picture.”

Murder alibi of the week: "She shot herself"


On April 13, Victor Claus of Bonners Ferry, Idaho, and his girlfriend Melissa Schloe were driving in Idaho when they got in a big argument. Schloe was shot in the head from a distance of at least 18 inches, crossed the center line, sideswiped a motorcycle then hit another car hard enough to flip it twice. Mr. Claus was booked on first-degree murder charges and, because he was very drunk at the time, is facing the death penalty.

His alibi: “She grabbed the gun off my dashboard, where I always keep it, and shot herself.’

The sheriff immediately affixed a laser sight to a similar gun and attempted to set up the same shot. After hours of trying they attest there’s no way she could have shot herself.

But that’s his story and he’s sticking with it.

Bernie Madoff no longer has to worry about getting Trump as a cellmate


Bernie Madoff, who created the software stock trading program that later became the NASDAQ stock exchange, has died. A very smart man, Madoff later proved the adage “a fool and his money are soon parted” by creating and running the biggest Ponzi Scheme the world has ever known. Because fools with enough money to get into Madoff’s racket really hate to be ripped off - the minimum buy-in was $100,000 and many invested millions - Mr. Madoff was rewarded for his ingenuity by being sent to federal prison for 150 years.

He died of natural causes.

Egypt appears to be on the verge of starting its own shipping line


On March 23, Evergreen Line got one of their massive container ships stuck in the Suez Canal. It took until March 28 to dig it out.

Apparently Evergreen’s insurance company was not pleased to be presented with a bill for $900 million for freeing their $120 million boat, so they’ve walked away from it.

Is Shohei Ohtani the best hitting pitcher in baseball history?

Ohtani pitches in the AL, and they don’t use a DH when he’s on the mound.

This morning, MLB.com is reporting that Ohtani, the winning pitcher in last night’s 10-3 win over the Royals, nailed a 119-mph double in the seventh that stands as the hardest hit so far this season. According to Statcast, only five batsmen have recorded hits at least that hard since 2015: Giancarlo Stanton did it nine times, Aaron Judge did it four, Nelson Cruz hit one ground-ball single, Gary Sanchez lined out and Ohtani hit one double.

When I was going through my email this morning and saw that, my first thought was obvious: isn’t Ohtani in the league where pitchers don’t hit? Apparently this guy didn’t read the memo that says pitchers are supposed to be lousy at the plate.

As for Babe Ruth...he was a decent hitter on the Red Sox, but he didn’t become the Sultan of Swat until the Yankees moved him to right field.

You'll hate me: both Pfizer shots, no side effects

Just so you know, Ammon Bundy's been arrested again


And it gets better: he went to the Idaho Statehouse, where he’s already been trespassed, and got arrested. Then he bailed himself out of jail, went right back to the Statehouse, and got arrested again.

Video: How to mill an 80 percent AR-15 lower with common tools

No milling machine is necessary. Using either a drill press or a portable electric drill, a router and the set of jigs sold by all the 80-percent lower dealers, you can make a ghost gun receiver quickly and easily. Both the drill and the router are available at any pawn shop worthy of the name.
Go to Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 123 Next »