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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 41,654

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You know the best part of this whole sordid Trump mess

He's about to be taken down by emails.

What to get the man who has everything...

...including a felony conviction.

We print papers seven days a week so my job has two people doing it: me Saturday to Tuesday, and another person Wednesday thru Friday. (We have other work for her to bring her up to 40 hours, so it’s good.) Last night she needed off, so I went in to work.

All our papers have “gift ideas” sections. In one of them, two ads stood out.

The first was for a marijuana store in Ephrata, WA. Not only do they have $5 grams and $90 “happy ounces” (yes, you would be happy to get a whole ounce of quality weed in your stocking) but they’ll be open on Christmas Day just in case.

Then was the law office whose Xmas special is $200 off the flat fee for restoration of your gun rights. (The ad with all the guns in it gets inserted.)

“All I want for Christmas is my gun rights back” never really occurred to me...

Everyone's new favorite Christmas song

Alabama recount procedures

Recounts generally:

Recount procedures:

Automatic recounts happen when the results are closer than 0.5 percent, and past that a candidate's organization can request one.

A preview of Trump's first tweet tomorrow morning

LGBTQ Nation has the best take on the Jones victory


Alabama voters defied expectations by rejecting embattled senate candidate and accused child molester Roy Moore in favor of Democrat Doug Jones. Jones, a former United States Attorney famous for prosecuting Klan members, ran a tight race with Moore after multiple women accused Moore of sexual harassment and assault.

I have a slight request for the assembled masses...

When referring to the senator from Vermont by last name, use "Sanders."

When referring to the White House press secretary by last name, use "Huckabee Sanders."

I refer to this thread:

in which "Sanders" claimed that Trump's immigration ban would have stopped the NYC bomb attack...naturally, I thought "Sanders" could have been the senator, although logic suggests it wasn't.

What is most astounding about the GOP tax disaster is the hypocrisy

Think back to more pleasant days, when the Affordable Care Act was being debated. What did we hear from the Republicans?

"How can they possibly expect us to vote on this bill? We don't know what's in it!"

(We'll ignore that the ACA received more debate than any bill put before Congress in the last nine presidents, and the bill was up on the Thomas server for a week and a half before the final vote...they didn't know what was in it, and that's that.)

Which brings us to the Trump tax hike bill. This thing is so un-debated, it went before the Senate for a final vote before they even got a chance to open the file and type the changes they'd made into it. It's not just that the Democrats don't know what's in it...most of the Republicans don't, either - and that is a scary thing.

Gather around children, to hear the tale of Why the Grinch Stole Christmas

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot…

But the Grinch,
Who lived just north of Who-ville
did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. You know damn well what’s the reason.
It’s not that his head isn’t screwed on just right.
Nor that his shoes are too big or too tight.
And though the Whos claim it’s the biggest reason of all,
It’s not that his heart’s even a little bit small.

No, he was workin’ retail.

He worked for long hours. He worked for low pay.
He worked to take crap from the Whos every day.
He sat, head in hands. “They want it all free!”
“They run me so hard I have no time to pee!”

“They’re robbing us blind!”  he shouted out loud.
“They won’t let us out of a thousand-Who crowd!”
“And just to be sure our life’s made pure hell,
they bring back things we don’t even sell!”

“But the thing I hate worst,” said the Grinch with a groan,
“is Christmas itself; it’s way overblown.”
“They cut down a tree and hang torches all over it.
“Them worry about fire? Not even a bit!”
“When the damn thing goes up in a roar and a blaze,
“That’s when they serve Who-road-kill in a light Who-fruit glaze.”

“When the road-kill is gone they do something worse!
“They join in a circle and sing dirty verse!”
“They sing about sex. They sing about drugs.
“They sing rotten songs ‘bout Saint Nick and his thugs!”
“The day I hate worst, is two days from now...
“I have to stop Christmas — and I think I know how!”

“It’s all about Who-beer!” he said with a grin.
“And Who-wine, and Who-Scotch and Who-Bombay-gin!
“The night before Christmas they meet at a pub.
“They blaze up Who-joints and fill up a tub.
“With Who-Purple-Jesus, and all the Whos say,
“that’s the only Jesus they’ll need on that day.”
“And when they go home, I haven’t a fear,
“They’re so high they can’t see! They’re so drunk they can’t hear!
“They’ll sleep on the floor. They won’t lock the door.
“They won’t know what happened a minute before.
“So I won’t need costumes or stunts or a ruse,
“I’ll just walk in and take all their Christmas refuse.”

And that’s just what he did. He strolled into their houses.
He stole the gizmos and gadgets and even the Who-mouses.
He took red balls and green lights and little silver bells,
And fancy Who-dresses and lip-sticks and hair gels.
He took all the presents, then just for a thrill
He even made off with the Who-road-kill!

He piled all that stuff in the middle of Who-square,
in hopes that the Whos soon would be there.
“They’ll think it’s a lark but it won’t be a joke.
“when their whole joyous day goes up in black smoke.
“With a can of Who-gas, and a Who-willie-pete,
“the Whos’ rotten day will soon be complete.”

Just then, the Grinch’s Russian cousin said “Nyet!
“Dear Grinchski, I’ve got the best idea yet!
“Your Who-gas and grenades might make a big pyre,
“But nothing can beat Artillery fire!
“I have lots of rounds. I’ve got a big gun.
“I’ll shell it all flat. We’ll have lots of fun!”

The Grinch hid in a church, stood next to the light,
Turning it on would put rounds into flight.
For he knew nothing would make him feel more alive,
Than the boom and the whistle from that old two-S-five.

The morn came. The sun rose. The Whos soon appear.
Bloodshot and bleary-eyed and reeking of beer.
Then they looked on, amazed. “Why’s our stuff in the square?
“We don’t remember putting it there.”

Twas then that the Grinch flipped the magical switch.
Sergei Ivanov yelled, “Son of a bitch!”
He grabbed up the lanyard, yanked with all of his might,
And the first of five hundred rounds boomed into flight.

The first round hit a plant that made bluing.
“Sergei Ivanov, what the hell are you doing?
“Up fifty, left forty and fire for effect,
“Unless your brain is addled with a latent defect.”
The rounds hit the square. The presents went splatter.
Causing the Whos to scurry and scatter.
The Grinch marveled. “Oh, what a wonderful sight! Seeing Christmas burn!
“My glorious plan’s past the point of no return!”

Just one thing to do. The Grinch lifted a pane,
So he could hear the soulful refrain
of three hundred Whos with their Christmas hearts broken,
standing there crying and sobbing and chokin’.

But that’s not what he heard. Nothing like it at all.
Why, it sounded like the Whos were having a ball!
They were singing. And dancing. Their hearts were a-prancing.
They brought out Who-beer and joints of Who-weed,
They made up a feast of roasted Who-sneed.
They gathered up the frag and put it in a bag,
then turned it into a giant Who-hag!

The Grinch started yelling “What the hell is this?”
And was showered with flowers and Who-joints and a sloppy Who-kiss.
“I blew up your things to make you feel bad,
“But this is the greatest day any of you’ve ever had.
“You should be sad, but you’re hipping and hopping...”
The Whos said, “Are you out of your mind? We get to go shopping!”

Well, they pulled the Grinch out of that nice Who-ville store,
And sent him to one in Ulan-Baator.
So while you’re having a nice Christmas day,
Give a thought to the clerks who helped make it that way.
They toil in long hours down in Retailer Hell,
for money that won’t buy the stuff that they sell.
So dream of sugar plums and reindeer in flight,
and Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Vinyl? Pish-tosh, I have some REALLY old-school tunage for you

Remember this?

Well...get 'em out kids, Swedish devil-rock band GHOST is going to drop an 8-track of their upcoming live album "Ceremony and Devotion" on January 18, 2018.

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