jmowreader
jmowreader's JournalQuestion about Joe Rogan
How did he get so popular? Serious question. I don't do podcasts so I've never listened to his...but how did he get so popular and influential that Spotify would pay him what they did?
I listened to Kid Rock's new song so you don't have to
Folks, I've done some terrible things in my time.
I sent an entire infantry battalion forty miles up the wrong road just to see if they'd verify who I was before they did it.
I supplied Thunderbird and Velveeta to my boss's Wine, Cheese and Jazz Party. The sickest part is he had some of both.
I helped invent a fallacious "Grunie Pig Roundup" that we had to "cancel" when half the chain of command said they were going.
I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner that had no turkey in it. Twice!
I threw a wake for the Ayatollah Khomeini. (You shoulda been there. It was a party that will live in infamy.)
I gave fucked-up names to seventeen cats, and they learned to come to them. One of the few I can repeat here is "Hormel," which was hung on a cat so ugly we had to tie a pork chop around its neck to get the other cats to play with her.
But all that has been erased.
Because I just listened to Kid Rock's latest atrocity, "We The People."
Some people are claiming this is a bad song. Not true. To claim this is a "bad song" would be to suggest it's a song at all. No ma'am. It's more like you took a Trump supporter with terminal Tourette's, slipped a gram of LSD into his beer, then set a microphone in front of him. And then you set his five-minute drunken rant to the tune of pushing a drum set and a guitar down thirty flights of stairs.
This has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. In Cheech and Chong's movie "Things are Tough All Over," Cheech put together a band featuring "the heaviest players in town who would work for nothing" and played an ear-abusing mess of a song about his dick. This isn't even that good.
Negative twenty-nine stars. Avoid at all costs.
If the Rams go to the Super Bowl, an interesting conundrum will occur
The Super Bowl will be held this year at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. Next year, this will be the home field for the LA Rams.
Okay, that's not so weird; the team who owns the Super Bowl stadium played in the game last year. It might seem a bit strange for it to happen two years in a row but...well, things happen.
Here's the fun part. Because the game is usually played on neutral territory, one of the two teams is designated the home team. It goes by conference and switches back and forth every year. Last year the NFC was home team, so this year the AFC will be.
The Los Angeles Rams are an NFC football team.
Yes, sports fans, you heard it right: if the Rams beat the 49ers next weekend, they will be the away team in their own stadium.
"No litter boxes for furries in Midland public school restrooms"
It is impossible to make this up.
https://www.rawstory.com/michigan-2656456919/
Meshawn Maddock is the co-chair of the Michigan GOP. She’s one of the people who signed the BS document that attempted to award Michigan to Trump. How she’s entertaining herself while she waits for AG Nessel to throw her in the cooler is by spreading a rumor that the student restrooms in the Midland Public Schools are equipped with litter boxes for students who identify as furries.
The superintendent reports that there have never been litter boxes in Midland public schools.
The right way to eat a hot dog
1. Get a hot dog.
2. Put whatever you want on it.
3. Eat the bastard and don’t give a damn what anyone else says.
I have an 8th Amendment question
The 8th Amendment says “cruel and unusual punishments” shall not be inflicted.
So…let’s say we were to erect some good old-fashioned medieval torture devices on the White House lawn to punish the plotters of the insurrection.
How many Trump Administration officials would we have to sentence to eight hours of the bastinado, tar and feather then run out of town on a rail before those things stop being unusual?
I'm reading between the lines here
From the tone of AG Garland and President Biden’s speeches, I suspect the Justice Department has a solid-enough case to start moving against Trump Administration officials, and perhaps Trump himself. Jenna Ryan and Jacob Chansley, among the others that have been sentenced, didn’t get the sentences they did because the DoJ is nice people, it’s because they rolled over on the plotters.
Real Statement from Donald J. Trump, Real President of the United States, cancelling his 1/6 PC
I, your favorite president Donald J. Trump, who really won the 2020 election, was going to give the greatest press conference in history on the anniversary of that great day when patriots gathered from all over this great land of ours to try to force Congress to obey the will of the 71 million real Americans who voted for me and ignore the fake news that more people supposedly voted for Sleepy Joe. Look at the guy, will you? He's about 100 pounds overweight, he can't drink water without holding the glass in both hands and he can't walk down a handicapped ramp without falling down and breaking his nose. He's also a total loser. Do you realize he doesn't own any Florida golf courses? Not one! No one could have possibly voted for him.
Then my daughter Ivanka, who is the hottest babe I know, came to me last night and said "Daddy, you can't hold a press conference at Mar-a-Lago on January 6th at noon. If you do, the treasonous police who want to put you in jail for exercising your God-given right under the Third Amendment that says your real president can stay in office as long as he wants will know exactly where to find you, and besides we're out of bright orange makeup and the spray glue you use to create your tremendous hairstyle."
So I decided to call off the press conference that the fake media was illegally refusing to cover and will instead hold an even bigger and more exciting celebration of freedom in the parking lot of the ABC Supply store in Prescott Valley, Arizona, on a date that will be announced on Frank, Gettr, Telegraph and One America News Network, the only real news there is. Hundreds of thousands of real freedom loving Americans will flock there to hear motivational words from Mike Lindell, Diamond and Silk, Creflo Dollar, the brave healers of America's Frontline Doctors, and Linda Rendle, the manufacturer of the greatest COVID medicine ever created. The fake news media will all beg for access to this freedom-filled event, but there will be no room for those liars.
The editor in chief of People Magazine is probably hating himself right now
Today I went to the supermarket to get some food for lunch, and noticed the People Magazines in the checkstand racks.
Not only is Betty White the cover story on the regular edition, they're doing a special edition this week all about her 100th birthday.
I am well aware of how long it takes to get a print magazine on the stands, and that poor guy is probably sitting there going damn, damn, damn...
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