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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 72,464

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Santa likes ants

A room full of bad-ass

Junior Parker - Tomorrow Never Knows

What presents did you find under your Apocalypse Tree this morning?

Get any nice zombies or giant rats?

It's my favorite time of year

Florida man claims donkey fucking is a constitutionally protected right

Is bestiality protected by the constitution? So says the lawyers of a Florida man who is on trial for his relationship with his sweet, sweet donkey named Doodle. Aw… that’s Doodle in the picture above. She is pretty hot.

Carlos R. Romero, 32, declared last week that he wanted to take his case to trial. He is accused of sexual activities involving animals, a first-degree misdemeanor, after he allegedly was found in a compromising position in August with a female miniature donkey named Doodle.

“By making sexual conduct with an animal a crime, the statute demeans individuals like Defendant (Romero) by making his private sexual conduct a crime,” the attorneys wrote.

As another possible reason for unconstitutionality, the attorneys add that the statute doesn’t require that the state prove any harm or injury to the animal “or any proof of the sexual activity being non-consensual.”

“Therefore, the only possible rational basis for the statute is a moral objection to sexual acts considered deviant or downright ‘disgusting,’?” they wrote.

Using religion or the overall consensus of the public that sexual activity with an animal is wrong as the basis of a law is unjustified and bars Romero’s personal liberties, the attorneys argued.

“The personal morals of the majority, whether based on religion or traditions, cannot be used as a reason to deprive a person of their personal liberties,” the attorneys wrote. “If the statute were to require sexual conduct with animals to be nonconsensual or to cause injury in order to be a crime, then perhaps the State would have a rational basis and legitimate state interest in enforcement.”


Surprisingly enough, this Apocalypse night is just like any other night…

Except with more ZOMPIRES!

Everyone sing along!

How about some of that Christmas Cheer?

The Moral of the Story: Don't Fuck with the DU Lounge

Olive Garden, Red Lobster See Sharp Drop In Profits After Anti-Obamacare Campaign Backfires

By Rebecca Leber on Dec 20, 2012 at 10:46 am

Ever since Darden Restaurants — the owner of the Olive Garden and Red Lobster chains — first announced its anti-Obamacare campaign (i.e. fucked with the DU Lounge), the company has had a tough couple of months. Darden admitted as much when it revised its predictions for latest quarterly earnings down in December, attributing the drop to “recent negative media coverage on Darden {…} and how we might accommodate healthcare reform.”

The negative press (and a pissed-off DU Lounge) led the company to reverse course on its threat to shift employees to part-time status to avoid covering them under Obamacare. The latest report on Darden’s earnings prove that was a good move, since the restaurants did take a turn for the worse as a result of their bad publicity. Its net income fell 37 percent:

The decline in traffic comes despite the company’s efforts to revamp the menus and marketing for its flagship chains. At Olive Garden, the company rolled out an updated advertising campaign and introduced more light and affordable dishes. At Red Lobster, it added options for people who don’t like seafood (and breastfeeding in public).

But the company said revenue at U.S. restaurants open at least a year fell 2.7 percent for its three biggest chains during the quarter; it fell 3.2 percent at Olive Garden, 2.7 percent at Red Lobster and 0.8 percent at LongHorn Steakhouse. The figure is a key metric because it strips out the impact of newly opened and closed locations (close to pissed-off DU Lounge Lizards.)

Olive Garden and Red Lobster are not the only chains attempting to make their employees pay more instead of offering them basic health care. Denny’s and Papa John’s (both of which have also pissed-off DU Lounge Lizards) have also warned they may cut back hours to avoid the provision in the health care law that requires firms with 50 or more full-time workers to offer health benefits. In reality, the costs of Obamacare are overstated, as it only imposes a small increase in health care spending for larger firms, while actually reducing it for smaller employers.

(There hasn't been any official word issued yet from the DU Lounge, but there have been reports of mass snickering and gloating nationwide.)


Tell me about Steve?

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