FDA WARNS OF SCHADENFREUDE ABUSE

FDA WARNS ABOUT SCHADENFREUDE ABUSE: In the last few days a growing number of Americans have overdosed on schadenfreude as Donald Trump undergoes a very humiliating public flameout. The FDA's statement included the warning: "Enjoy schadenfreude in moderation. This is especially true if you have had to wait a long time to consume it. It's easy to forget how intoxicated one can get on the shame and misery of someone you despise, especially when they are as insufferably arrogant, twisted, stupid and shallow as Donald Trump." The FDA also warned against mixing schadenfreude with snark. "S and S use is on the rise and can be deadly to relationships. Frequent users often are oblivious to just how obnoxious their sneering commentary can be to people who don't share their views."




You know what? This is DU. Fuck the FDA

Dr Bornstein provides explanation for Trump's skin color and bitchiness

Dissociated Press: Donald Trump's gastroenterologist, Harold Bornstein announced he had solved the mystery of his famous patient's orangish hue and an explanation of why he goes after everybody "like a bitch." After top to bottom scopes of the corpulent codgers cavernous cavities (and cleaning up his own projectile vomiting), Dr. Bornstein called a press conference.

"This is the most jaundiced human being I have ever met," he said somberly. "There is literally nothing inside of Mr. Trump except a giant gall bladder producing gallons of bile and a twisted up colon generating more methane than an Oklahoma fracking operation. Other than those organs and dense pockets of dark hard stool, the man is totally gutless."

Bornstein said for some reason Trump could only execute excretory functions when large groups of people were willing to listen to him. "This campaign is the only thing keeping him from just exploding." Bornstein said, beginning to retch "And something else is eating him up inside but I couldn't stick around long enough to ...." Dr. Bornstein was not available for further questioning.

New video surfaces: Team Trump responds to unexpected female visitor to campaign planning meeting