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Bertha Venation

Profile Information

Gender: Female
Hometown: Huntington Beach, CA
Current location: Charles County, MD
Member since: Wed Oct 15, 2003, 09:30 PM
Number of posts: 21,467

Journal Archives

Do you crave any food right now?

I crave onion rings. Mmm.
Posted by Bertha Venation | Wed Jul 31, 2013, 04:58 PM (17 replies)

What apps would you like to see?

Me? I want an app that will tie my shoes.

What apps would you like to see?
Posted by Bertha Venation | Wed Jul 31, 2013, 04:46 PM (12 replies)

Red Dirt Girl. A sad song. Emmylou Harris



nobody knows when she started her skid
she was only 27 and she had five kids
could've been the whiskey, could've been the pills
could've been the dream she was trying to kill
but there won't me a mention in the news of the world
of the life and the death of a red dirt girl named Lillian
who never got any farther across the line from Meridian
Posted by Bertha Venation | Wed Jul 31, 2013, 10:19 AM (0 replies)

Meet-up in the DC area? Just floating a trial balloon

It has been many, many years since I've been to a DU meet-up. So long ago that the pub where it was held, the Hawk & Dove, isn't there anymore.

Any interest in this, DC-area DUers? Or those who would travel?
Posted by Bertha Venation | Mon Jul 29, 2013, 09:30 AM (1 replies)

question about the dread of going to the therapist

I guess I have a lot of lead-in to my question. Iíll try not to make this too long. I try not to do TL;DRs.

I'm 50 years old. I was 23 when I started the long road Iím on now. In therapy for a few weeks, I soon found myself in a psychiatric hospital for two months. Subsequent to that I was in therapy for thirteen years. Dr. Carol Brush saved my life (although she tells me ďno, you did the workĒ). After that time I was without a therapist for several years, but it was ok. The work done with Carol changed my life so that I was no longer suicidal, no longer had anxiety attacks, quit looking over my shoulder, learned to cope readily with the crap that life offers. I was happy, genuinely happy. Not perfect, but happy. I knew how to cope and did it well.

Cut to a couple of years after I moved to Maryland. I started having overt emotional problems again. I got a referral to a good psychiatrist, who set me up on some meds and referred me to a good therapist, Jane. The meds started helping, but the therapy was having some disturbing effects. The therapist referred me to the psychiatrist she worked with closely, and I've been seeing that doctor ever since. She takes good care of me. I am now on a powerful cocktail of four psychiatric drugs. They work well, but the main side effects of taking in all of these chemicals every day are loss of short term memory and inability to concentrate. These are terrible side effects for me. They affect my work, and thatís not good. Yet the slightest tweaking can cause serious problems -- although a few months ago we were able to reduce the dosage of one by 1.5 mg. That was a small victory. But I fear I will be on these drugs forever, because of that slight tweaking problem. I worry about this, especially as I realize Iíll have to retire sometime, and thereís that god damned donut hole. . . .

My biggest problem right now is that, after years without seeing Jane (she does not take insurance and is not cheap), I was having enough minor breakdowns that Mrs. V. and I decided, damn the cost, Iíd better get back into therapy. Well, therapy has me completely raw and completely vulnerable. Itís very painful and for the first few weeks I left her office feeling numb, then had to try very hard not to break down when I got home and was in a funk for a few days. That went on for a few weeks before we decided to ratchet back the intensity of the sessions, and now theyíre much milder. But I still dread going; I get a mild anxiety attack on session day.

Does anyone have any advice that might help me get over my fear of going to see Jane? I dread it so that it is a heavy weight on my chest.

Thanks for reading.
Posted by Bertha Venation | Mon Jul 29, 2013, 09:13 AM (8 replies)

Is friendship different in the 21st century?

Or is this just the way this particular friendship works?

My friend Lisa and I became friends because we both worked (at different times) as legal secretary to the same major super-asshole. I left that firm but we have remained friends. Since then our friendship has consisted of emails, phone calls, text messages -- and we see each other once or twice a year.

Is this odd? Or have things really changed this much?

Do you have any friendships like this with people who live just half an hour away?
Posted by Bertha Venation | Fri Jul 26, 2013, 09:03 PM (5 replies)

What jingles do you remember?

Here's my current earworm

Hot dogs -- Armour hot dogs
What kind of kids love Armour hot dogs
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks
Tough kids, sissy kids (?!)
Even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs
Armour hot dogs
The dogs kids love to bite


Posted by Bertha Venation | Fri Jul 26, 2013, 09:26 AM (91 replies)

I am so, so tired

Long ago I took this complaint to my doctor, who ordered a sleep study. CPAP was prescribed and for a couple of years it seemed to work well.

For the last several months, I have awakened tired, driven to work drowsy, sometimes nodding off,* and have nodded off at my desk. Daily. On the weekends, I take naps. In fact, I'll get up and enjoy my ritual -- have coffee and sit in my chair or outside in good weather and read. Well, I don't read anymore, although I try. I fall asleep.

I had another sleep study a couple of weeks ago. Since my doc is on vacation, I don't have the results yet. Perhaps the CPAP is set at the wrong pressure, or I need a different mask; the sleep study tech made these suggestions. My wife wonders if I might be anemic.

I am so very tired of being tired. I hate dragging myself through the mornings. I can't concentrate. I make notes on tasks throughout the day; sometimes I can't read my writing, and have to go back to the boss to find out what the task was. This is embarrassing.

I am SO very tired of being tired.

Until I see my doc -- any practical suggestions? Not looking for medical advice.

* I have found a way to keep from nodding off while driving to work. I eat celery.

Cross-posted to Chronic Health Conditions Discussion and Support
Posted by Bertha Venation | Thu Jul 25, 2013, 10:51 AM (31 replies)

I am so, so tired

Long ago I took this complaint to my doctor, who ordered a sleep study. CPAP was prescribed and for a couple of years it seemed to work well.

For the last several months, I have awakened tired, driven to work drowsy, sometimes nodding off,* and have nodded off at my desk. Daily. On the weekends, I take naps. In fact, I'll get up and enjoy my ritual -- have coffee and sit in my chair or outside in good weather and read. Well, I don't read anymore, although I try. I fall asleep.

I had another sleep study a couple of weeks ago. Since my doc is on vacation, I don't have the results yet. Perhaps the CPAP is set at the wrong pressure, or I need a different mask; the sleep study tech made these suggestions. My wife wonders if I might be anemic.

I am so very tired of being tired. I hate dragging myself through the mornings. I can't concentrate. I make notes on tasks throughout the day; sometimes I can't read my writing, and have to go back to the boss to find out what the task was. This is embarrassing.

I am SO very tired of being tired.

Until I see my doc -- any practical suggestions? Not looking for medical advice.

* I have found a way to keep from nodding off while driving to work. I eat celery.
Posted by Bertha Venation | Thu Jul 25, 2013, 10:22 AM (20 replies)

a good friend is meeting with the Majority Whip today

She is the chair and treasurer of the local Meals on Wheels. She's going to talk with Rep. Hoyer (at his request!) about the effects of the sequester on MOW and other non-profit organizations she works with/supports.

Go Lisa!

PS Steny Hoyer is my representative.

PPS I would have posted this in GD but there would have been 12 questions I couldn't answer, 7 posts critical of Hoyer, 21 rants about the sequester that have nothing to do with non-profits . . .
Posted by Bertha Venation | Wed Jul 24, 2013, 10:51 AM (5 replies)
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