MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Vladimir Putin was “totally despondent” after witnessing someone other than himself control Donald J. Trump for ninety minutes, a Kremlin source said on Thursday.

“For years, President Putin has taken great pride in his ability to manipulate Trump like a silly, dancing marionette,” the source said. “To see someone else do it, and so effortlessly—well, it was a bitter pill for him to swallow.”

The morning after the extraordinary spectacle, Putin was “still baffled” as to how this person was able to dictate Trump’s behavior with the simplest and most obvious of prompts, the source said.

”It was hard to watch,” Putin reportedly said. “But she was right about me eating him for lunch. That was a good one.”

During the presidential debate, Donald Trump was asked whether he had any regrets stemming from the Jan. 6 attack. It was a good question, which the Republican clearly struggled with.....

But perhaps most important of all was his claim, in reference to Jan. 6, that he had “nothing to do with that other than they asked me to make a speech.”

https://x.com/MSNBC/status/1833685223550099603

(Pay particular attention in this clip to the comments at the 38-second mark, when Trump briefly used the word “we” to describe the insurrectionists, before correcting himself.)....

To hear the former president claim he had “nothing to do with that” is comparable to the iceberg claiming it had nothing to do with the sinking of the Titanic.

“I was at the Capitol on Jan. 6,” Kamala Harris said soon after. “I was the vice president-elect. I was also an acting senator. I was there. And on that day, the president of the United States incited a violent mob to attack our nation’s Capitol, to desecrate our nation’s Capitol. On that day, 140 law enforcement officers were injured. And some died. And understand, the former president has been indicted and impeached for exactly that reason.”

What’s more, in case this isn’t obvious, Trump has spent the last several months defending Jan. 6 criminals, raising money for them, labeling them “victims” and “hostages,” and promising to reward them with day-one pardons — even those who violently clashed with law enforcement.

A recent Associated Press report noted that the former president has positioned “the violent siege and its failed attempt to overturn the 2020 election as a cornerstone of his bid to return to the White House.” This coincided with a related Semafor report on the degree to which the Republican has put Jan. 6 rioters “at the heart of his campaign.”

That report was published in March. It’s worse now

September 11, 2024
Statement from National Economic Advisor Lael Brainard on the August Consumer Price Index

Statements and Releases
Today’s report shows that we are turning the page on inflation, which has fallen to 2.5%, close to the level the month before the pandemic started. With inflation coming back down close to normal levels, it is important to focus on sustaining the historic gains we have made for American workers during this recovery.

The President and the Vice President are fighting to lower costs, expand opportunities, and grow the middle class. That means creating jobs and supporting small businesses in communities across the country. It means cutting taxes for middle class families and hardworking Americans, while asking billionaires and large corporations to pay their fair share to reduce the deficit. And it means making housing, health care, and prescription drugs more affordable. Congressional Republicans would raise costs by nearly $4,000 per family while cutting taxes for the ultra-wealthy. While the President and Vice President fight for the future, Congressional Republicans would drag us backward.

###

Speaker Mike Johnson pulled a vote Wednesday on a temporary spending bill that would keep federal agencies and programs funded for six months as it became increasingly clear the measure lacked the support to pass as a potential partial government shutdown looms.

The legislation to continue government funding when the new budget year begins on Oct. 1 includes a requirement that people registering to vote must provide proof of citizenship. Johnson, R-La., signaled that he was not backing off linking the two main pillars of the bill.

“No vote today because we’re in the consensus building business here in Congress. With small majorities, that’s what you do,” Johnson told reporters outside the House chamber. “We’re having thoughtful conversations, family conversations within the Republican conference and I believe we’ll get there.”.....

Despite the dim prospects for the bill, Johnson had said on Tuesday that he would push ahead with the vote. He has embraced concerns that some of the migrants who have entered the country at the U.S.-Mexico border in recent years could swing the elections, though it’s illegal for noncitizens to vote and research has shown that such voting is extremely rare.

In 2016, Trump became the first presidential candidate to distance himself from his own running mate during a general election debate.

Eight years later, he did it again with a different running mate.

Hours later, the Ohioan’s week managed to get even worse during the presidential debate, as his running mate distanced himself from Vance’s recent rhetoric.

The trouble began when ABC News’ Linsey Davis asked Donald Trump whether he would veto a national abortion ban if it got to his desk during a possible second term. The former president largely dodged the question, saying he wouldn’t have to veto such a measure.

So, Davis tried again, reminding the GOP nominee that his running mate, just last month, told NBC News that Trump would, in fact, veto a federal abortion ban. At that point, the former president replied:

“Well, I didn’t discuss it with JD, in all fairness. And I don’t mind if he has a certain view, but I think he was speaking for me but I really didn’t.”

He quickly added, “We don’t have to discuss it,” dodging the underlying question again.

https://x.com/MSNBC/status/1833680855715201274

.....During the second presidential debate in 2016, ABC News’ Martha Raddatz reminded Trump that his own running mate said, in the context of a discussion about U.S. policy in Syria, that “provocations by Russia need to be met with American strength.” In an unusual display, Trump denounced the position.

In fact, the then-Republican candidate said of Pence, “He and I haven’t spoken, and I disagree. I disagree.”

In other words, in 2016, Trump became the first presidential candidate to ever distance himself from his own running mate during a general-election debate. Eight years later, he did it again

As the debate got underway, Harris crossed the stage to shake her opponent’s hand — a power move, to be sure — and introduce herself. Trump told her, “Have fun.”

Oh, she had fun, all right.

Harris went out of her way to bring up points that were obviously designed to trigger the former president. There were references to John McCain. And Trump’s bankruptcies. And his inheritance. And the fact that he was “fired” by 81 million people. And Project 2025. And his disparagement of U.S. troops. And the fact that his own alma mater, the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, slammed his economic plan.

Just as importantly, the vice president routinely laughed at her Republican rival — knowing that for Trump, there is no greater insult.

Perhaps the most memorable exchange came roughly a third of the way into the debate, when Harris broke new rhetorical ground:

I’m going to actually do something really unusual and I’m going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump’s rallies because it’s a really interesting thing to watch. You will see during the course of his rallies he talks about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter. He will talk about windmills cause cancer. And what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom. And I will tell you the one thing you will not hear him talk about is you. You will not hear him talk about your needs, your dreams, and your, your desires.”

She was obviously baiting him. Trump took the bait anyway and in the process proved the Democrat’s point......

https://x.com/MSNBC/status/1833681642096849364

.....I’ve seen every televised debate in American history, and I can honestly say that there’s never been a more lopsided affair. Trump was unprepared; he lied uncontrollably; he fell into every trap; he came across as rattled and angry; and by all appearances, the GOP candidate didn’t have any kind of strategy whatsoever.

Trump failed in every way a candidate can fail, as Harris succeeded in every way a candidate can succeed.

As the event got underway, the vice president quickly crossed the stage to shake her opponent’s hand — a power move, to be sure — and introduce herself. Trump told her, “Have fun.”

Oh, she had fun, all right.

PHILADELPHIA (The Borowitz Report)—Concern about Donald J. Trump’s cognitive decline surged after Tuesday night’s debate when he claimed that he never met Kamala Harris.

“I’ve never met her, and based on what I’ve been told, I hope I never do, because she seems like a horrible person,” he told reporters.

Trump’s incoherent debate performance caused his supporter Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to wonder if the Republican nominee’s brain was hosting a foreign organism.

“When he said, ‘They’e eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats,’ I was like, ‘Oh my God, a worm is eating his brain,’” Kennedy said.

Vice President Kamala Harris made a sharp, fiery case against Republican nominee Donald Trump during a freewheeling debate Tuesday, blasting the former president’s character and preoccupation with himself while pressing him to task on issues including abortion, democracy and foreign policy......

Harris was able to deliver the Democratic case against Trump — that he is self-involved, unfit and consumed with his own interests — in a way that President Joe Biden struggled badly to do in the last debate, a little over two months ago. Her performance, and Trump’s often-frustrated reaction, underscored how much the dynamics of race have changed since Biden stepped aside.

Harris seemed to regularly get under the former president’s skin, sometimes prompting angry or meandering responses. He accused the vice president and the Biden administration of being responsible for inflation, high crime and illegal immigration, but he also went on tangents, such as repeating baseless assertions.

In one of the most aggressive exchanges from the night, Harris and Trump sparred over abortion, with each casting the other as holding extreme positions.....

Harris repeatedly goaded Trump with references to people leaving his rallies, his various bankruptcies, the money that he received from his father and other matters where he has shown sensitivity.

“He talks about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter,” Harris said at one point. “He talks about [how] windmills cause cancer.”

At one point in the debate, Trump refused to acknowledge that he lost the 2020 election, despite clear evidence that Biden defeated him. When asked about his recent statements that he had “lost by a whisker,” Trump said he was being sarcastic......

Harris, meanwhile, took the opportunity to say Trump was “fired” by the American people in 2020. “Donald Trump was fired by 81 million people, so let’s be clear about that and clearly he’s having a very difficult time processing that,” Harris said. “We cannot afford to have a president of the United States who attempts as he did in the past to upend the will of the voters in a free and fair election.”

It was one of several times Harris tried to get under Trump’s skin. She referenced people at his rallies experiencing “exhaustion and boredom,” saying that he seemed “confused” and that “he admires dictators.”