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me b zola

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Member since: Thu Nov 11, 2004, 09:06 PM
Number of posts: 19,053

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Top 100 Genealogy websites for 2013


I am very excited that now at the age of 49 I now have my basic info to begin my family tree!

A Girl Like Her ~ A film from Ann Fessler

Acclaimed author, artist, and activist Ann Fessler's film focuses on the women of the Baby Scoop Era in the United States.

Film Synopsis

A GIRL LIKE HER reveals the hidden history of over a million young women who became pregnant in the 1950s and 60s and were banished to maternity homes to give birth, surrender their children, and return home alone. They were told to keep their secret, move on and forget. But, does a woman forget her child?

The film combines footage from educational films and newsreels of the time period about dating, sex, “illegitimate” pregnancy, and adoption—that both reflected and shaped the public’s understanding of single pregnancy during that time—with the voices of these mothers as they speak today, with hindsight, about the long-term impact of surrender and silence on their lives.


We Are Coming Home

I want to extend a special greeting to all adoptees and fostered individuals. And to all our birth parents and other relatives who spend the years we are away from them wondering, worrying about us always praying we will some day return home. We thank you for those prayers for it those prayers that has kept us here and brought us home. Our voices have been silent for many years. Now the time has come to tell this side of the story.http://wearecominghome.com/ComingHome.php

I have found my way home thanks to a wonderful search angel. I have found my mother...and two sisters!!!!!!

Blessed be the children and women of relinquishment, we will find each other eventually!!!!

Call it Trafficking

This piece from The American Prospect discusses the US avoidance of the international community's actions to protect the poor, women, and children.


The U.S. government appears to be unique among Hague contracting states and most of the international adoption community in rejecting the use of the term “trafficking” to refer to illicit adoptions.... This can be especially confusing when reading the text of the [Hague Adoption Convention.]… Although the text explicitly refers to the prevention of child trafficking as one of its primary objects (Article 1b) … the U.S. government rejects the idea that child-buying for adoption is trafficking.

This position is not shared by many of our foreign counterparts. For example, in many african countries… fraudulent intercountry adoptions are officially referred to as trafficking. In December 2010, Ethiopian officials accused a Minnesota-based [adoption agency] of child trafficking for placing children without a birth parent’s consent.


You can see now why the United States doesn’t define the case studies mentioned above as trafficking. Those children may be transported—but not into slavery. Children taken fraudulently into adoption are merely transported from truth to lies. While there’s always a loss at adoption’s beginning—a child loses her first family—the new family is formed with love and generosity, not intent to exploit. Yes, those children’s birthfamilies are exploited when their offspring are taken for someone else’s gain. You could say that they were trafficked into loss. But those foreign families' exploitation—their transportation into grief—is not the concern of the US government.


The United States should join the rest of the world in defining trafficking. When a child is bought, defrauded, coerced, or abducted away from its birth family to be sold into adoption, call it trafficking. And deal with it accordingly.

~read entire article @ https://prospect.org/article/call-it-trafficking

About the Author:

E.J. Graff writes on social-justice and human-rights issues, particularly discrimination and violence against women and children; marriage and family policy; and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender lives. She is a resident scholar at the Brandeis Women's Studies Research Center and the author of What Is Marriage For? The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution (Beacon Press, 1999, 2004).

Out Of Here


In October 2010 I met a little boy for the first time in an "orphanage" in Kampala. He had been there for just under a month and he was the saddest baby I had ever met. I prayed when I got home that God would do a miracle and that they would find his parents, because I just felt that he was missing somebody very, very special.

When I returned to the "orphanage" a week later - he was still there. I was so shocked that his family hadn't come to pick him up, because I was convinced there had been a huge mistake and that they were bound to have found him! I had lots to learn.

Many people think that "orphanages" are full of orphans (double orphans with no other known family), or that they were pit latrine babies (thrown in make shift toliets) or that they had been abused and removed from their families by the authorities. I didn't know that children could end up in "orphanages" because of mistakes, poor processes and lack of record keeping or because of miscarriages of justice.

~more @ link~

"I Want My Baby Back" End reproductive exploitation

HuffPo live discussion on first/natural ("birth" mothers and their experiences with adoption:


You will hear the audio of whatever is going on live at the time, but click on the large video screen under the title "I Want My Baby Back"

Victorian Government apologises for forced adoptions

They waited a long time for their apology, I'm still waiting for mine here in the US.

Anne Fessler "Everlasting"

Wonderful art piece that focuses on the women from the Baby Scoop Era.

Is it Ideal?

Is it Ideal?


But it’s not just that, there is also the fact prior to relinquishment I was living in a fantasy that my son was guaranteed a better life because of this sacrifice I was making. I’m not sure if this idea in my head was something people told me, or of my own making from pop culture, or what, but even if it wasn’t my counseling that put me in that mindset, I do think my counseling should have helped relieve me of that fairy tale. The fact the hard truth about adoption is being glossed over for both PAP and emoms is not okay, we need to know the hard truth that many adoptees experience loss even when placed in infancy and if we choose adoption we have to acknowledge and help them through that loss. But when we aren’t told about that loss, then we aren’t able to fully understand the choice we’re making.


The fourth is harder for me, but I do feel someone who entered pregnancy in my position – I was emotionally capable and ready to be a parent but I didn’t have the financial and societal support to help me raise a child and was left on my own by the birth father – someone like me should never have to face placing. The issues I faced was not being able to afford health care and day-care, no paid maternity leave, and a fear of losing any steady income because of accrued debt, these scared me, and being a person who qualified for no aid because I made a little too much money to be considered poor, I felt there wasn’t any option for my son to thrive in the environment I could give him. To me, its one thing if you’re not ready or not interested in parenting, but it’s a whole different place if you just don’t have the support you need. We as a society should respect biological ties enough to find ways to preserve families in situations like mine. And instead of having people say “I will fight for your family to get to a better place and you to raise your son” they said “it’s so great you’re giving your son a better life”.

The thing is, for my son’s parents and I, the decisions in front of us that we have made I do believe are the best for my son, I do think we are doing the best we can – but there are so many bigger issues that exist, even when we do the best job we can. And to fix those, we as an adoption culture need to acknowledge that even when adoption works the way it’s supposed to – both before placement and after – there are still major faults in the system, systematic problems that impact adoptees. So even when you are making the best choices that you can, it still doesn’t seem good enough.

{emphasis mine}

If your life has been touched by adoption/relinquishment there are resources to help you understand the issues and a huge community that you can turn to for support, understanding, and guidance. A key to internet searches on info is to use the key word "adoptee". Using "adoption" or "adopted" almost always yields industry sites that serve their purposes, not those of the adoptee or facts that all members of the triad should have access to.

Our mission is to bring readers the perspectives and narratives of our contributors and guests in an adoptee-positive space. It is our desire to spotlight the creativity and emanate the empowerment of adopted women who are vocal about adoption. We also aim to critically discuss adoption by freely voicing the positives and negatives we see in the institution from our place in the adoption constellation.

MUSINGS OF THE LAME My Life As A Birthmother & What I Learned Too Late
Musings of the Lame is a blog about adoption and my life as it has unfolded being a birthmother.

Dedicated to the right of all adopted adults unconditional restored access to their own birth certificates. The coalition has members representing all three in the adoption/relinquishment triad, first-family members, adoptees, and adoptive parents & family.

There are many, many more resources that you will find just by pugging into any of these communities.

Forced-adoptions conference calls for federal inquiry

‘It was so painful’: Forced-adoptions conference calls for federal inquiry


Since the National Post launched an investigation this spring into historic coerced and forced adoptions that targeted unwed mothers, dozens of Canadian mothers, fathers and adoptees have spoken out about what happened to them. They told of church-run maternity homes that would take in young pregnant women only if the child was put up for adoption, of social workers withholding information about a mother’s social assistance options and of women signing adoption consent forms while recovering from childbirth or on powerful drugs. The United Church recently announced it will strike a task force to look into these practices, and a church representative at the conference said a 35-page archival report on the church’s role is now complete.

“I think for us coming together this way, from across the whole country … this makes a statement that we’re starting to talk, we’re starting to come together and we want that national inquiry,” said Valerie Andrews, the executive director of Origins Canada, which organized the conference. “We want a national inquiry, we want the answers and we want the federal government to acknowledge and validate the illegal, unethical and human-rights abuses that happened to women post-World War Two and continuing after that through their adoption policies and practices.”


Between 1945 and 1975, 1.5 million women in the United States lost babies to coerced or forced adoption, according to documentarian Ann Fessler, who showed her new film A Girl Like Her at the conference.

~more a link~


Australia has recently issued an apology to the victims of the adoption industry and are working toward reforms. Time for North America to do the same.
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