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me b zola
me b zola's Journal
me b zola's Journal
December 11, 2012
"I Want My Baby Back" End reproductive exploitation
HuffPo live discussion on first/natural ("birth"
mothers and their experiences with adoption:
http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/managing-adoption-regret/50c0eecb02a76029fc00008f
You will hear the audio of whatever is going on live at the time, but click on the large video screen under the title "I Want My Baby Back"
December 3, 2012
Victorian Government apologises for forced adoptions
They waited a long time for their apology, I'm still waiting for mine here in the US.
December 3, 2012
Anne Fessler "Everlasting"
Wonderful art piece that focuses on the women from the Baby Scoop Era.
November 14, 2012
Is it Ideal?
~snip~
But it’s not just that, there is also the fact prior to relinquishment I was living in a fantasy that my son was guaranteed a better life because of this sacrifice I was making. I’m not sure if this idea in my head was something people told me, or of my own making from pop culture, or what, but even if it wasn’t my counseling that put me in that mindset, I do think my counseling should have helped relieve me of that fairy tale. The fact the hard truth about adoption is being glossed over for both PAP and emoms is not okay, we need to know the hard truth that many adoptees experience loss even when placed in infancy and if we choose adoption we have to acknowledge and help them through that loss. But when we aren’t told about that loss, then we aren’t able to fully understand the choice we’re making.
~snip~
The fourth is harder for me, but I do feel someone who entered pregnancy in my position – I was emotionally capable and ready to be a parent but I didn’t have the financial and societal support to help me raise a child and was left on my own by the birth father – someone like me should never have to face placing. The issues I faced was not being able to afford health care and day-care, no paid maternity leave, and a fear of losing any steady income because of accrued debt, these scared me, and being a person who qualified for no aid because I made a little too much money to be considered poor, I felt there wasn’t any option for my son to thrive in the environment I could give him. To me, its one thing if you’re not ready or not interested in parenting, but it’s a whole different place if you just don’t have the support you need. We as a society should respect biological ties enough to find ways to preserve families in situations like mine. And instead of having people say “I will fight for your family to get to a better place and you to raise your son” they said “it’s so great you’re giving your son a better life”.
The thing is, for my son’s parents and I, the decisions in front of us that we have made I do believe are the best for my son, I do think we are doing the best we can – but there are so many bigger issues that exist, even when we do the best job we can. And to fix those, we as an adoption culture need to acknowledge that even when adoption works the way it’s supposed to – both before placement and after – there are still major faults in the system, systematic problems that impact adoptees. So even when you are making the best choices that you can, it still doesn’t seem good enough.
{emphasis mine}
http://racilous.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/is-it-ideal/
If your life has been touched by adoption/relinquishment there are resources to help you understand the issues and a huge community that you can turn to for support, understanding, and guidance. A key to internet searches on info is to use the key word "adoptee". Using "adoption" or "adopted" almost always yields industry sites that serve their purposes, not those of the adoptee or facts that all members of the triad should have access to.
LOST DAUGHTERS
Our mission is to bring readers the perspectives and narratives of our contributors and guests in an adoptee-positive space. It is our desire to spotlight the creativity and emanate the empowerment of adopted women who are vocal about adoption. We also aim to critically discuss adoption by freely voicing the positives and negatives we see in the institution from our place in the adoption constellation.
http://www.thelostdaughters.com/
MUSINGS OF THE LAME My Life As A Birthmother & What I Learned Too Late
Musings of the Lame is a blog about adoption and my life as it has unfolded being a birthmother.
http://www.musingsofthelame.com/
ADOPTEE RIGHTS COALITION
Dedicated to the right of all adopted adults unconditional restored access to their own birth certificates. The coalition has members representing all three in the adoption/relinquishment triad, first-family members, adoptees, and adoptive parents & family.
http://www.adopteerightscoalition.com/
There are many, many more resources that you will find just by pugging into any of these communities.
Is it Ideal?
Is it Ideal?
~snip~
But it’s not just that, there is also the fact prior to relinquishment I was living in a fantasy that my son was guaranteed a better life because of this sacrifice I was making. I’m not sure if this idea in my head was something people told me, or of my own making from pop culture, or what, but even if it wasn’t my counseling that put me in that mindset, I do think my counseling should have helped relieve me of that fairy tale. The fact the hard truth about adoption is being glossed over for both PAP and emoms is not okay, we need to know the hard truth that many adoptees experience loss even when placed in infancy and if we choose adoption we have to acknowledge and help them through that loss. But when we aren’t told about that loss, then we aren’t able to fully understand the choice we’re making.
~snip~
The fourth is harder for me, but I do feel someone who entered pregnancy in my position – I was emotionally capable and ready to be a parent but I didn’t have the financial and societal support to help me raise a child and was left on my own by the birth father – someone like me should never have to face placing. The issues I faced was not being able to afford health care and day-care, no paid maternity leave, and a fear of losing any steady income because of accrued debt, these scared me, and being a person who qualified for no aid because I made a little too much money to be considered poor, I felt there wasn’t any option for my son to thrive in the environment I could give him. To me, its one thing if you’re not ready or not interested in parenting, but it’s a whole different place if you just don’t have the support you need. We as a society should respect biological ties enough to find ways to preserve families in situations like mine. And instead of having people say “I will fight for your family to get to a better place and you to raise your son” they said “it’s so great you’re giving your son a better life”.
The thing is, for my son’s parents and I, the decisions in front of us that we have made I do believe are the best for my son, I do think we are doing the best we can – but there are so many bigger issues that exist, even when we do the best job we can. And to fix those, we as an adoption culture need to acknowledge that even when adoption works the way it’s supposed to – both before placement and after – there are still major faults in the system, systematic problems that impact adoptees. So even when you are making the best choices that you can, it still doesn’t seem good enough.
{emphasis mine}
http://racilous.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/is-it-ideal/
If your life has been touched by adoption/relinquishment there are resources to help you understand the issues and a huge community that you can turn to for support, understanding, and guidance. A key to internet searches on info is to use the key word "adoptee". Using "adoption" or "adopted" almost always yields industry sites that serve their purposes, not those of the adoptee or facts that all members of the triad should have access to.
LOST DAUGHTERS
Our mission is to bring readers the perspectives and narratives of our contributors and guests in an adoptee-positive space. It is our desire to spotlight the creativity and emanate the empowerment of adopted women who are vocal about adoption. We also aim to critically discuss adoption by freely voicing the positives and negatives we see in the institution from our place in the adoption constellation.
http://www.thelostdaughters.com/
MUSINGS OF THE LAME My Life As A Birthmother & What I Learned Too Late
Musings of the Lame is a blog about adoption and my life as it has unfolded being a birthmother.
http://www.musingsofthelame.com/
ADOPTEE RIGHTS COALITION
Dedicated to the right of all adopted adults unconditional restored access to their own birth certificates. The coalition has members representing all three in the adoption/relinquishment triad, first-family members, adoptees, and adoptive parents & family.
http://www.adopteerightscoalition.com/
There are many, many more resources that you will find just by pugging into any of these communities.
October 22, 2012
~snip~
Since the National Post launched an investigation this spring into historic coerced and forced adoptions that targeted unwed mothers, dozens of Canadian mothers, fathers and adoptees have spoken out about what happened to them. They told of church-run maternity homes that would take in young pregnant women only if the child was put up for adoption, of social workers withholding information about a mother’s social assistance options and of women signing adoption consent forms while recovering from childbirth or on powerful drugs. The United Church recently announced it will strike a task force to look into these practices, and a church representative at the conference said a 35-page archival report on the church’s role is now complete.
“I think for us coming together this way, from across the whole country … this makes a statement that we’re starting to talk, we’re starting to come together and we want that national inquiry,” said Valerie Andrews, the executive director of Origins Canada, which organized the conference. “We want a national inquiry, we want the answers and we want the federal government to acknowledge and validate the illegal, unethical and human-rights abuses that happened to women post-World War Two and continuing after that through their adoption policies and practices.”
~snip~
Between 1945 and 1975, 1.5 million women in the United States lost babies to coerced or forced adoption, according to documentarian Ann Fessler, who showed her new film A Girl Like Her at the conference.
~more a link~
http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/20/it-was-so-painful-forced-adoptions-conference-calls-for-federal-inquiry/
----------------
Australia has recently issued an apology to the victims of the adoption industry and are working toward reforms. Time for North America to do the same.
Forced-adoptions conference calls for federal inquiry
‘It was so painful’: Forced-adoptions conference calls for federal inquiry~snip~
Since the National Post launched an investigation this spring into historic coerced and forced adoptions that targeted unwed mothers, dozens of Canadian mothers, fathers and adoptees have spoken out about what happened to them. They told of church-run maternity homes that would take in young pregnant women only if the child was put up for adoption, of social workers withholding information about a mother’s social assistance options and of women signing adoption consent forms while recovering from childbirth or on powerful drugs. The United Church recently announced it will strike a task force to look into these practices, and a church representative at the conference said a 35-page archival report on the church’s role is now complete.
“I think for us coming together this way, from across the whole country … this makes a statement that we’re starting to talk, we’re starting to come together and we want that national inquiry,” said Valerie Andrews, the executive director of Origins Canada, which organized the conference. “We want a national inquiry, we want the answers and we want the federal government to acknowledge and validate the illegal, unethical and human-rights abuses that happened to women post-World War Two and continuing after that through their adoption policies and practices.”
~snip~
Between 1945 and 1975, 1.5 million women in the United States lost babies to coerced or forced adoption, according to documentarian Ann Fessler, who showed her new film A Girl Like Her at the conference.
~more a link~
http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/20/it-was-so-painful-forced-adoptions-conference-calls-for-federal-inquiry/
----------------
Australia has recently issued an apology to the victims of the adoption industry and are working toward reforms. Time for North America to do the same.
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