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me b zola

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Member since: Thu Nov 11, 2004, 09:06 PM
Number of posts: 19,053

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On this date, 4/17/1963, Adults entered into a contract that limited my rights without my permission

Fifty-two years ago today I was born and immediately removed from my mother. My mother, and an adoption agency entered ==>>ME==<< into a legally binding contract without my permission but yet affects me for my entire life. Today I am going to not speak about how this contract affects my son and my four grandchildren, as well as the human rights issues in how my mother came to be involved in this contract to begin with. Today is about me. Today is about my rights.

I am a fifty-two year old woman who is not legally entitled to my own birth certificate. My own birth documents were sealed away upon my birth, and the contract signed by adults at the time of my birth say that I am not entitled to them. Lets skip past the part that I am in reunion with both sides of my family and of course my advancing age. What other infant can be the object of a legal contract that will affect them for their entire life? How can this odious practice begin to even meet the lowest of ethical standards for any institution?

Do parents have the right to obligate their infant into a contract that will last a lifetime? How about a parent who is offered assistance if they sign their infant up for military service? If that crazy analogy makes you say 'hell no!' then how can it be okay for the crazy circumstance that I was born into?

For those who want to dismiss any adoptee for demanding the right to their own birth documents, I would only say that privilege makes it difficult to see beyond your own circumstance. You have yours, so its no big-deal that others have no access to theirs. As far as you are concerned my water fountain is lovelier than yours so I should just STFU...right?

This is a civil and human rights issue. No one has the right to impose their legal contract on me, no one gets to say which of my own personal documents I have access to.

If you say that you support adoption, then please, support adoptees. Support equal rights for adoptees. Only 20% or so of our lives is spent as children. We are human beings and deserve the same rights as other citizens.

Support adoptee rights, no "mother may I', but true legislation that allows us the same rights as you.

Breaking the cycle: Queensland university student adopts homeless, pregnant teenage cousin

**THIS** is the answer and the way. "Adopt" young mothers who are in need of help and stop the un-necessarily separation of
families:

A 23-year-old Sunshine Coast university student has spoken about taking his pregnant teenage cousin under his own roof to care for her and her newborn.

~snip~

I became the legal foster parent for her to make sure shed keep the baby, stay off the streets and have a better life, he wrote on Facebook.


~snip~

I became the legal foster parent for her to make sure shed keep the baby, stay off the streets and have a better life, he wrote on Facebook.

~snip~

When bad things happen, it's your family that supports you, he wrote.

It means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

I've had my family pull my head out of the gutter before... It was time to pay it forward.


~more @ link~ http://www.9news.com.au/world/2015/04/15/11/46/queensland-university-student-adopts-homeless-and-pregnant-teenage-cousin#gig_comment_id=041c9ce8d860415885030a7a9d69f4dd


Respect children and their mothers. If you say that you care about the poor and those in difficult situations, then support keeping families together.

Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty



Dear Adoptive Parents: The Burden of Adoptee Loyalty

Dear Adoptive Parents,

I want you to listen. I want you to read this and truly consider it. For the sake of the ones you love and call your own.

You have no understanding of the burden of Adoptee Loyalty that your adopted child bears.

You do not realize that he will sacrifice his own feelings and desires for your sake--and that he does this subconsciously, because you also have no idea how easily, how quickly the unspoken thoughts and emotions inside of you, the silent and passive cues you communicate are internalized by your adopted child.

The burden of Adoptee Loyalty will compel your adopted child to remain silent on the things closest to her heart because she can sense these dark things scare you, make you uncomfortable, threaten you.

~snip~

When she hears you talking about how you ultimately think she will be fine and wont have many issues because adoptive parents today know so much more about adoption and birth families than did adoptive parents of yesterday, she will internalize your words and teach herself to be fine and to ignore her emotions and questions, because the burden of Adoptee Loyalty is not easily set aside. She wants to please you so that you will want to keep her. She wants you to see her as you want to see her because this will assure her position in your family.

She will be loyal to you above all else because this is what you have taught her is most important to you. By both your spoken and unspoken cues. Because she realizes deep down, at a subconscious, instinctive level that what matters to you most is that this adoption work out the way you want to work out--that you are desperate to see this adoption be what you always dreamed it would be:

That happy ending of a doting, grateful, happy child eager to sing your praises, eager to thank Almighty Adoption and Almighty Adoptive Parents for giving her such a wonderful life.

And so, she knows that if she shows anything other than that, if she departs even a little from that narrative, if she comes to a different conclusion, she may cause you pain and hence, face rejection again. And that is more than she can handle.

She must cling to Adoptee Loyalty so that her fragile world does not fly apart.

Your children will never genuinely feel free to be their true, unfiltered selves as long as they carry the burden and guilt and obligation of Adoptee Loyalty. They need to understand and trust that they can have their own thoughts, emotions, ideas, perspectives, conclusions about adoption and know that you will not take it personally or feel threatened or freak out if they happen to diverge from you. If you allow them to continue to carry the burden of Adoptee Loyalty, they may never allow themselves to acknowledge and much less pursue the deeper parts of themselves.

There are profound and beautiful parts of your adopted children that you, that the world will never see as long as they feel their existence, their lives, their experience of love is contingent upon their loyalty to you.

As their parents, it is your responsibility to recognize this burden they bear. And to help them unpack and unload it. It is your responsibility to empower them to let go of the heavy load of Adoptee Loyalty. If you allow your adopted children to continue to carry such a burden, you are demonstrating that your comfort and ego are more important to you than the well-being and self-actualization that you promised to give to the children you are supposed to love above yourselves.

~more & http://www.thelostdaughters.com/2015/04/dear-adoptive-parents-burden-of-adoptee.html


This has needed to be said for a long time. End the fantasy and fairy tales of adoption and look at the reality.

Korean man faces deportation because adopted family never filed papers ( I hate this title)

Adam is an American of Korean ancestry.

Please, please watch:

http://www.msnbc.com/jose-diaz-balart/watch/korean-adult-adoptee-fights-deportation-422740035601


And BTW, Kevin Vollmers is a fearless advocate for social justice and someone who should be followed and listened to.
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