HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » orleans » Journal
Page: 1

orleans

Profile Information

Gender: Female
Member since: Fri Nov 26, 2004, 05:56 AM
Number of posts: 26,483

Journal Archives

my baby loved ice cubes after walks when it was hot out

on hot, humid days we'd walk late in the afternoon when things cooled off a bit, didn't walk as far as we normally did, and i wouldn't let her dawdle in the sun--only in the shady spots.

on terribly hot days we'd hang out in the house and keep cool. the only trips outside were quick ones in the back yard.

wow--i've been crying all evening over missing my little baby

i recently posted a thread in the bereavement group about her
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1234673

i can't tell you how many people have asked me if i was going to get another dog.
unreal.

i tell them i don't know. i tell them for right now i miss her and am heartbroken. i tell them i'm just so sad. i tell them it's okay for me to feel sad and i just want to be sad about it for awhile.

i'm grieving.

i loved. i was loved. i lost. i miss her. and i feel sad. and that's okay.

it's a habit our "move on" society has. everyone wants the bereaved to have the instant cure/fix. go back to work. keep busy. don't think about it. replace the pet--quick!

we do that regarding people. time off for grieving is short. get back to work--pretend everything is back to normal. don't' make others feel uncomfortable because you're still sad. otherwise it's awkward for people. don't let your grief make others awkward.

yes, my baby was lucky to have me. and i was so lucky to have her as well. we had each other. she was my little friend. my shadow. my sweetie. my baby doll.

i don't know if i'll get another dog. i'm not a fortune teller or psychic. but i do know i loved her. and am so thankful she was a part of my life and i was part of hers. she was one of a kind. and if i do end up with another dog it will not be to replace my baby. she is irreplaceable.

but they all are, aren't they?

thanks for posting this. i think a kind thing to say would be "you were so lucky to have each other." because we were. we always are. both us and them.

or get an older dog.

i had my baby for three and a half years (she came to me when she was ten.) i'm heartbroken over losing her but she was so wonderful i wouldn't trade that short time i spent with her for anything. our time together just wasn't long enough.

i had a border collie/corgi mix

she was amazingly wonderful, kind to children and other animals, so dearly loved. she didn't have to be entertained all the time and she didn't herd us. and she never nipped. we found her at a shelter when she was 11 months old.

i recently lost my little lhasa apso and am still grieving over her. she came to me from a shelter when she was ten years old. now she herded us, especially toward the kitchen! i had so many nicknames for her, but one of them was "my little shadow."

(i was just crying and carrying on when i came across this thread--had to respond.)

wonderful video

i'm crying (i knew if i clicked on this link there would be something to trigger my emotions but i couldn't help myself)

and when we lose them it is devastating.

about ten days ago i was walking through a pet cemetery as my little friend, my little sweetie, was being cremated and through my tears and sorrow there was one thing that was so blatantly crystal clear to me and that is how much they are loved. there was so much love in that cemetery it was incredible. i wandered around, looking at the headstones, reading the epitaphs, seeing the pictures on the stones. and my heart was breaking for missing my little girl, and for the hundreds of friends and companions around me who had brought others so much love and happiness in their lifetimes.

so much love. and so much sadness when they go.

sounds like your mom is home and giving you little signs

my mom died three and a half years ago and i can't count all the signs she has given me in this house we lived in together. she didn't die at home but home is where the heart is. (lights turning off and on, flashing; knocking, her perfume smell, popcorn smell, literally hearing her say my name, etc.)

but i get a lot of signs from her outside the house as well--not so frequently anymore but the first few years it was amazing. i'd ask her for a sign or tell her to give me one and i'd find a car with her name or one of her nicknames on their license plate in front of me! songs on the radio, finding little items like pennies (although it wasn't pennies or money) that we had a running joke about for years.

talk to her. let her know you're picking up on these things.

it sounds like she plans on staying regardless of whether or not you sell the house. it's still pretty recent and if she loved the house then why leave?

i lost my little friend

a month and a half after my mom died we had to put our beloved dog to sleep. it was devastating. i was alone for a month and a half after that--i was the ghost in the house, void of life, void of everything except anguish and grief.

then a friend of mine brought over a little ten year old dog she had found at a shelter. the people had gotten rid of her because they were having a baby. my friend was worried about me. she didn't want me to be alone, with no focus other than my sadness. she thought another dog would help me get through my grief.

i couldn't make the decision to keep this little dog or not. and then weeks and then months went by--she just stayed. and we bonded. and slowly i was able to start feeling again, and when that finally happened i began to love her. and i must have thanked her a thousand times for being my little friend, my little shadow.

she was my focus. my reason for going home, sometimes hurrying home--have to let her out, have to feed her, have to give her some company, don't want to leave her alone too long, have to walk her.

she listened to me crying, listened to me talking to myself (to my mom), and she was always by my side as i grieved for my mother and our other dog. she put up with my emotional distance and slowly we grew closer.

my focus. my sweet little friend.

and one day she decided not to eat breakfast. and decided not to eat anymore. or drink.
trips to the vet. blood tests. x-rays. everything was normal. nothing was wrong. except i was now force feeding her baby food and she was getting weaker. and weaker.

it was as if, one day she decided it was her time to go. and i prolonged it for a week. and then, shortly after bringing her home from a trip to the vet, she just... died.

my little friend, who gave me a reason to get up, come home, get my head together a little bit, my little friend who needed me to take care of her but not nearly as much as i needed her.

and i'm heartbroken.
there is no comfort--no food, no alcohol, no place to go to find relief.
she was my day-to-day for the last three years and five months.
i hate good-byes so much! even though i believe they are not permanent, the time between now and later is way too long. they feel permanent enough for now and it's almost unbearable.

she's been gone just over a week. the day after she died i had to ice my eyes for three hours to get the swelling down before i could go to work. it's better now--i'm not crying myself into distortion anymore. but it's bad.

i remember a couple friends thought a ten year old dog coming to live with me in my time of grief was a terrible idea. but i am so grateful that she was a part of my life--i loved her so much--it was all worth it. i just miss her so much, all the time.
Go to Page: 1