barbtries
barbtries's JournalI just read the "forum purpose" quote here, and it's ironic.
My son is getting married in Cary on Saturday. It was to be an outdoor ceremony; Ian had other plans. On Sunday they were going to head out to their honeymoon resort, in Duck, NC. Ian had other plans.
I'm happy because they're perfect for each other. Rory, my youngest son, and I drove to NC from CA and arrived on 03Oct2007. She's born and raised NC and the sweetest and most loving person you'd ever want to meet.
I have high hopes for a new grandchild soon; it's been 15 years since the last one and I'm not getting any younger.
I'm happy because family is coming from the West Coast and so far, it looks like they'll all make it. Today is the big day for arrivals. My niece is possibly not landing until tomorrow so that might be dicey.
Well, gotta run out to the airport for the second time in 3 days (my oldest grandson arrived on Monday). this load is my oldest son and his youngest. Can't wait.
It's going to be beautiful, and I'm preparing a short toast that will include, if only obliquely, our unexpected visitor. I expected that Covid would be showing up, knew there might be rain, in NC on any day there might be rain, but the timing of Ian is as ironic as the purpose for this forum, which is: "Can't you see the sunshine. Discuss all things North Carolina."
All best thoughts and concern to the people bearing the brunt of this vicious storm from Cuba to Florida and beyond.
trump is a menace to society.
he needs to taken off the street asap. the list of crimes is nearly endless, take your pick and charge the motherfucker.
I watched this documentary today. it was published to youtube in 2018,
but according to Amazon Prime it was made in 2015.
It's about how unmarried mothers and their children were treated in Ireland all the way from the 1930s to the 1980s. It's about 795 babies in an unmarked graveyard, never acknowledged. It's about women who were taken away from their families to workhouses and then had their children taken from them. Many to be sold by the nuns.
Is this where we're headed? At the time the movie was made abortion was still not legal in Ireland. There's a sense throughout that these immoral, wayward women impregnated themselves - never a hint that the father should bear any responsibility at all.
The movie is not bad. There is worthwhile discussion about the power of the church in Ireland at the time, and about why Ireland wanted to portray itself as "pure" in comparison to "dirty" Britain. It is a full length documentary also available on Amazon prime.
All I could think is we're headed thataway - backward in time.
I know a lot of DUers despise twitter,
but it is so good today, I have laughed and laughed. Comedy gold does not get old. I never knew how many songs were out there just waiting for the hashtag #hawlinass
but first, this:
https://twitter.com/cwg18/status/1550480945035329538
https://twitter.com/ProjectLincoln/status/1550296699578482689
https://twitter.com/crustyruffles/status/1550306483233062917
https://twitter.com/ProjectLincoln/status/1550295285246660609
https://twitter.com/The_Mal_Gallery/status/1550297512506003456
https://twitter.com/The_Mal_Gallery/status/1550292500035895298
many more.
Another year, another milestone.
I posted one year ago today about the 20th anniversary of my daughter Bekah's death. It's come around again. 21 years ago today. Her world came to a crashing halt and her loved ones have been picking up the pieces ever since. This year is a hard anniversary. In another 13 days we will have been without her as long as we had her. I've been trying to work out with my counselor why this is so difficult for me.
It has to do with the enduring nature of grief, and I believe, the complicated nature of the grief associated with the loss of a child, further complicated by the violent nature of the loss and the denial of justice for her death.
Part of what complicates this grief is that I have to grieve not only for myself, but for my girl. She should be alive. I try to live FOR her, but I am mad FOR her too. There's no stopping the speculation on what her life would be today, if it hadn't been wiped out in a split second 21 years ago today. Children, a career...she was on the precipice of fulfilling all that her adult life promised.
And I miss her, so so much.
So yesterday my counselor asked me if I was a Marvel fan (I'm not), but then he quoted a line from one of the movies: "What is grief, if not love persevering?" I like that. Heaven knows I will never stop loving Bekah, so I suppose it does make sense that I will never stop grieving her loss. I just need to accept I guess, that July will never, ever be the same.
https://www.lapdonline.org/newsroom/hit-and-run-suspect-captured/
I'm watching a hearing for Cruz the Parkland shooter.
They're examining a doctor and going through his social media, web searches etc. This guy had hate for everyone and everything, especially Black people. He was interested in child porn. His defense has him sitting there in a checkered shirt and sweater vest looking like an All American kid.
You really have to wonder how the guns get into the hands of people who are screaming out warnings. I'm reading today that the Highland Park shooter had threatened to kill his own family a few years ago, then his father helped him acquire the weapons that he used to commit mass murder. WTF
This witness did a review and came up with a shitload of personality and other disorders in Cruz. However he is/was not psychotic though he tried to make up an imaginary bad guy who told him to commit his bad acts. Nothing according to this doctor would indicate that a mental health defense would be effective. He knew what he was doing. He's an All American kid I guess. A murderous maladjusted hater.
These people have always been among us. It's only in the past, i don't know, 20 years or so? that the gun lobby in concert with republicans and the NRA have given them the ability to commit mass murder. Our country is really sick. It's like among developed countries, we are that kid.
It's already starting.
It's July. On 06Jul1980, my beautiful daughter was born. On 19Jul2001, she was killed. This is the year when I will have been without her as long as I had her, and it's turning me into a blubbering pile of goo.
I had counseling today and cried and cried. My counselor told me about a memorial garden in Raleigh and I arranged for a brick to be placed in her name. Cried and cried to the advocate I spoke to. She was great.
July has never been a good month for me mentally and psychologically since Bekah died. It consumes too much of my thoughts and overtakes my feelings. I guess I would say it's just the murder month and it always will be. No matter how strongly I believe that Bekah is with me and that I will see her when I die. No matter how much time has passed since the crime.
We go back to the beginning of the grief, and I must do now what I worked so, so hard to do then: lean into it. Here's a poem I wrote then, it's maybe my favorite of all the many poems I wrote then.
today’s paean to why
There's like a why ocean,
from which waves of why
either tease or soak
my grief-addled mind.
During why's high tide,
nearly drowned in why,
The world abounds with why
All I hear is the sound of why
If it tells me it will have to kill me
When why recedes it is still a mystery
Still cannot know it
while I must respect its immense power over me
Riptides of why swamp me regularly
when I'm rolled crazily around in why,
Powerless to dive away from why
Useless to try dominating why.
On the island why I stop to see
How perseverance can still abide in me
On the mainland why I walk the beach
Hope defying why, the why of life
Is easy to see
By my side or inside of me,
Your spirit your love accompanies
With the energy of a wave
that embodies a natural eternity.
https://www.lapdonline.org/newsroom/hit-and-run-suspect-captured/
There's an expression that I hate hearing these days.
Tears still fresh on my cheeks after hearing the testimony of Shay and Lady Ruby. Adam Schiff, who is usually a wonderful speechmaker in my opinion, lets drop that expression that I can't hear anymore without yelling back, "yes it is!"
He said, "This is not who we are."
Well, I've been paying attention for awhile now. Sadly, yes it is. The minority make enough noise for everyone. They are hateful and murderous fascists. And they are us. Most of them were born here. Virtually all of them live here. They are us.
I don't even know how to turn "us" into people most of us would like to be, caring, democratic, acting in good faith, peaceful, loving, willing to promote the common good, ethical and honest. Living in reality.
It rings hollow at this point. I hear it all the time and I simply don't believe it anymore. I pay attention.
I need a good movie to watch.
I'm sapping today. nothing to do. what should i watch?
thank you all for the great suggestions. I'll check them out. I just decided on "The Big Wedding" with 2 favorites, Diane Keaton and Robert DeNiro. had never even heard of it, have no idea if i'll like it, but here goes.
don't know if this is to be believed,
but here it is.
https://twitter.com/MyCancerJourne3/status/1529933105359753218
https://twitter.com/MyCancerJourne3/status/1529933106668457985
https://twitter.com/MyCancerJourne3/status/1529933108182515713
and Rep Castro's response:
https://twitter.com/JoaquinCastrotx/status/1529950079280373774
In a nutshell, the family of one of the Uvalde child victims was visited by literal goons for Abbott. It seems truly unreal, but is it? I'm not savvy enough to find out.
ETA I think it may indeed be true based on an update, but still not certain.
https://twitter.com/MyCancerJourne3/status/1529980293368598528
2nd edit: After reading further down, I see that this poster has quite the twitter history. probably bullshit.
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Gender: FemaleHometown: CA
Home country: USA
Current location: NC
Member since: Wed Aug 17, 2005, 02:29 AM
Number of posts: 28,789