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Gender: Do not display
Current location: TN
Member since: Fri Aug 19, 2005, 10:23 AM
Number of posts: 14,176

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Thank you, DU!

The responses to my thread were overwhelming.


I tried very hard to reply to everyone. Please forgive me if I didn't get to you. You have my heartfelt thanks and appreciation. I did put on music, as many of you suggested. I stayed away from news. And we had a lovely day yesterday with our daughter. I'm exhausted, but feeling more optimistic about our future after January 20.

Let the countdown begin! Meanwhile, I'm going to get some rest.

Edit: One day I will figure out how to correctly link posts.

I'm struggling.

Today is Christmas Eve. Most years, I would have played my entire library of Christmas music at least 3 times by now. I haven't listened to a single song. Not one. And, whether you're religious or not, I think classical Christmas music is some of the most beautiful music ever written. Still, I don't feel like playing it. And in a few days, I will be sad that I let myself miss it.

I've temporarily(?) lost one of my best friends. Her mother died of Covid over a month ago and she is too depressed to even want to talk to anyone. It's a horrible situation. Her mother lived in another country and her siblings live in yet another one. She hasn't seen them all year. The death of a parent is bad enough. Under the circumstances, I'm not sure I'd want to talk to anyone. Still, I miss her terribly.

We found out yesterday that a long-time family friend of my husband's died of Covid. His wife is sick with it.

Meanwhile, I worry incessantly about my own family. Our 40-something daughter is convinced that she can't get it. The good news, though, is that she's equally convinced that she could give it to me. So she at least takes precautions. I worry every time my husband goes out for groceries, even though he wears a mask and gloves.

Our criminal president keeps setting more fires to the country every day, almost every hour. The last round of pardons has me so disgusted that I don't even know where to put all those feelings.

Christmas? OMG, who the fuck cares? Yes, I put up a tree and some decorations. We bought gifts online. We cooked. We even had a wine Advent calendar that was truly the best ever ... not because the wine was anything special, but just because the whole idea of a new tasing every day was pretty cool. Still, it didn't put me in the mood. And today is Christmas Eve.

When I'm not on the verge of tears, I'm in a rage inside or just numb. I thought I'd feel different when Joe Biden got elected. But all the bullshit that has been happening since is so demoralizing. I'm afraid the criminals will still find a way to pull out a coup.

Last week I found out that one of my other good friends believes that the election was stolen. I told her it wasn't and I haven't heard from her since. We didn't have a long conversation about it. We usually don't discuss politics. Still, I don't know if we can be friends if, after everything that has happened, she believes even a little of what that monster says. She wears a "Jesus" hat, but I'm learning that such a hat might as well say "MAGA" these days. I'm depressed about what has happened to all the things I grew up believing in.

Sorry to be such a downer. This is what this year has done to me. I still exercise and do Yoga and stick with a routine, because I would be even worse off without all that. I do a little on my hobbies every day. I have good sleep habits and I eat healthy. In other words, I'm doing what I can to maintain my mental and physical health. I'm just so tired and discouraged.

I think I just pissed off my new dentist's office.

They called from a phone number that is not the listed one and wanted my social security number. I told them I'd be glad to give them my insurance ID numbers but no social security number over the phone. Then they said forget it, they'll get it all when I come in.

I'm nervous now. They didn't say to wear a mask or stay in the car until called. And they didn't ask if I needed pre-treatment meds.

My dentist of almost 15 years died last year and his widow had been unsuccessful at finding another dentist to work there. Otherwise, I wouldn't be switching.

This whole thing has me going nuts over how scary the simplest things are.

I talked with my husband and we decided to cancel our appointments. Now the search continues. I found a dentist who is recommended by my old dentist's widow. He only takes one of our plans, but the other plan will still pay some out of network. There are not many dentists who take both, so we were really spoiled. The one we cancelled takes both. But at what price? Offices like that are why we can't get COVID under control.

I am livid!

I slept on it to see if it would help. It didn't.

This week I had 2 appointments that I couldn't skip. The first one was the optometrist on Tuesday. I was a few months overdue and scared to go. But I'm over 60 and there are some things that run in my family, so I need to stay on top of it. They told me to wear a mask and stay in my car until they called me in. Once I went in, there was no one else there except staff. They all were wearing professional well-fitting face masks, and they were wearing them properly. The exam went well and I had to choose frames. The optician had several frames laid out for me to try. He wore a mask the entire time. As I rejected frame after frame, he gathered them up to take them to their sanitizing room. Finally I found a frame, paid the bill directly to him, and I went on my way. He said I'd be going through his door to pick up my glasses when they arrive, to avoid walking down the hall from the waiting/reception area. That was great. Not once did I see anyone take off their mask, lower it, adjust it, or wear it below the nose. Those masks were just part of their faces.

Contrast with my appointment yesterday at the gastroenterologist's office. The lady at the reception desk was wearing a mask. Meanwhile, another lady kept walking back and forth behind her, wearing a mask below her nose. When they called me in, the nurse who took my temp, weight, etc., was wearing her mask below her nose. I was relieved to finally be shown a room. But there was nowhere to sit except for right next to the computer desk where the next nurse was. And I mean RIGHT next to it. No social distancing. When the PA came in, I complained about the nurse wearing her mask below her nose. She sort of rolled her eyes at me, but at least she had her mask on properly.

So next I had to go to scheduling. Now the below-the-nose nurse was wearing hear mask properly. And again, I had to sit right next to the computer desk where she was sitting. The room wasn't any bigger than a coat closet. The furniture is built-in, so the best I could do was to sit on the far side of the 3-foot-wide bench. She lowered her mask below her nose almost immediately and began talking non-stop. I sat there fuming, afraid to say anything. Then she suggested we go to Cracker Barrel for supper b/c it was so late and we had a long drive. When I told her no way, we're not eating out, she looked at me like I had trees growing out of my head. Honestly, if there was a way I could wish for her to get sick and die without infecting anyone else, I'd sign up.

Finally it was time to check out. The lady taking my credit card had lowered her entire mask all the way to her neck. I backed up as far as I could, but I did have to be able to give her my card and get it back.

Mind you, this was not an optional visit. I have to have a colonoscopy this year, and I'm terrified. These were medical professionals who couldn't fucking figure out how to wear a fucking mask! So they don't want to wear one all day? Fine! But at least in front of patients! Good god, what is wrong with them?

I'm in deep red TN. Cases are growing exponentially in my county and the county where these doctor's offices are. But they simply don't take this virus seriously. I am terrified but also livid that they put my life at risk. My husband is convinced that the staff for the actual procedure will be more careful. How do I know? I won't be wearing a mask during it!

There are no other options in this area. I don't know what to do. Do I have to choose between dying of COVID and dying of colon cancer? Who can I complain to? How can a doctor's office that actually performs invasive procedures be so much more lax than one that simply does eye exams and sells eyeglasses?

Fuck Trump! Fuck his followers! Fuck religion and racism and all the other stuff that makes people act this way.

As I said, I am livid!


I just did a search and found out that their county has a mask mandate in effect through Dec. 31, "... businesses, organizations and venues open to the public shall require the use of face coverings or masks by employees and the public." Of course, churches are exempt because, you know, stupid. And restaurants are sort of exempt. I don't see where a medical office is exempt, unless it's the "open to the public" part since you need an appointment. Does this change anything as far as who I could complain to? I mean, it doesn't specifically say the masks have to be worn properly, to cover the nose and mouth. Yes, I'm parsing words, trying to figure out in what universe this behavior is acceptable.

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