Way back machine to February 19th: Typical day, much like yesterday and probably tomorrow, my husband was doing his thing, me, mine. I didn't see him leave for his rehab PT, no problem he'd be back in a couple of hours. A couple of hours later cops show up to inform me I was a widow. Very untypical day, might even say unique at least for me. So, my tomorrow would be very different (if I would have any) and my late husband wouldn't have any more.

Yesterday is gone and done.
Tomorrow may never come.
Today is unique; there will never be another exactly like it.

The daffodils in our back yard are starting to bloom.

She's probably getting her tubes tied.

of the 54th to portray the men. He put his genius into that work.

If you haven't seen the film Glory, do so. It will lift and break your heart.

Like fair winds and following seas for sailors.

Thank you.

Your kind words, advice and offers of help mean more than I can say. I love this place. DU is the best.

I can't sleep because the old brain keeps putting up fire walls. "What am I going to do with all his stuff??" He was king of the pack rats -- everything from cars to ancient manuals about repairing antique sewing machines. "How am I going to do this or that or the other thing, etc?"

Of course, the old brain is avoiding dwelling upon the reality of "I'll never see him again." In the morning I would find him at the kitchen table net surfing the news. Getting my coffee and sitting with him and snark, analyze or rage about what's going on. I'll never tell him again "Hey, the bees are out and the daffodils are starting to bloom." Him telling me the cardinal pair showed up. Just two old folk married forever getting through the day.

Yes, I will get on, but it will never be the same.

Thank you for letting me do a little virtual grieving.

Go ahead and have a drinking thread- lift one for Jim. I'm already half way in the bag. Damned if I'll spend the night staring at the ceiling and crying. I'm saving the crying for his service at the NH Veteran's Cemetery, you know taps and all.

In memory: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181377463

Thank you, everyone

for awhile. My husband, Jim, died in a traffic accident today. So. Things to attend to and rearrange. Life does what it does.

CAVU, Airman.