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grantcart's Journal
grantcart's Journal
February 24, 2021

Award for Excellence in Police Reporting

Last month I was at a stop light in Blythe CA. When I heard a loud bang looked up and saw the rear end of someone wearing jeans on my windshield. I described this individual (referred to as Person -1 below) to police as someone who looked like he was from the gang that Walter White took out at the end of Breaking Bad (the policeman referred to him as a well known local "tweaker" ) . I noticed lots of tattoos all over him. He had jumped on my car in order to avoid being hit by the car next to me.

Next to me was a little Smart Car that collided at slow speed into my car. Two very large gentlemen who looked like they could have been from Best Buy's Geek Squad had somehow been miraculously wedged into what now looked like a child's battery operated toy car.

Smart Car (Vehicle -2) backs up and P-1 gets off my car reaches into his pants and pulls out a nonexistent gun and proceeds to fire it into the Smart Car yelling "bang, bang, bang, I am going to fucking kill you". I notice that the two geeky looking people in V - 2 looked like they had just encountered that monster from Stranger Things, have lost all of the color in their faces, and push the accelerator and the Smart Car slowly goes around P-1. P-1 picks up an imaginary rock and throws it at V-2. P -1 runs up to the Smart Car and kicks the rear bumper as it "speeds away", then jumps into Vehicle 1 and they pursue Vehicle 2.

I am sitting in Vehicle 3. I put on my blinkers, exit the vehicle and walk into the donut shop which is adjacent to the incident sit down and call the police. This donut shop, like virtually all of the donut shops in CA is owned by a Cambodian refugee who I had talked to the day before and discovered that he was one of the hundreds of thousands of Cambodians resettled under a program I managed in the 1980's. Free maple bar while I wait for the police.

Today I called my adjuster who I hadn't talked to in a month. I said "Dee, I am not sure if you remember me but I had a small claim in Blythe". He responded without hesitation, "Mr. Grant everyone in my group knows who you are.".

He advised that everyone in his group knew who I was, that the seven page police report had been memorized by several of the staff and was quoted at the daily zoom meeting.

The officer did a remarkably good job in writing down all of the details and reading the 7 pages made me laugh until tears streamed down my cheeks. I include two paragraphs. The mixture of methamphetamine culture crashing into two huge guys trying to make a get away in a little Smart Car while catching up on the crimes of Donald J Trump created a Mel Brooks type juxtaposition worthy of Mel Brooks. That the policeman captured every detail deserves an award for police reporting.

Party # 2: P-2 was driving V -2 (Smart Car). Pinchbeck was in the front passenger seat.
P-2 saw V-1 (Chevrolet) stopped at the stop sign of Willow and Hobsonway, V-2 turned southbound on the 100 block of south Willow. P-1 (Singer was in the driver seat of V-1, P – 2 heard the horn from V-1 honking and saw P-1 flipping off P-2. V-1 left the area. P-2 saw V-1 was stopped at the intersection of Hobsonway and Main. P-2 saw P-1 exit V-1’s front passenger seat, walked towards V-2, act as if he removed a firearm from his waist band and point it towards P-2 and W-1 yelling, “I am going to fucking kill you!”. P-2 fearing for his and W-1’s safety drove away. V-2’s front passenger side bumper collided with P-1. V-2 fled the scene. P-2 saw V-1 was following after him. P-2 telephoned the Blythe Police Department to report this incident.

Party #3 P-3, Grant P-3 was driving V-3. P-3 was stopped at the stoplight at Hobsonway and Main Street facing eastbound. P-3 was on his cellular phone checking the news about President Donald J. Trump being impeached. P-3 heard “bangs” the P-3 saw P-1 on top of V-3, P-3 saw P-2 and W-1 in V-2 (Smart Car). P-2 and W-1 appeared to be in fear of P-1. P-1 did not appear to be injured. V-2 left the scene. P-1 picked up an unknown item off the ground and threw it at V-2. P-1 entered V-1 and drove after V-2. P-3 telephoned the Blythe Police Department to report this incident.

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