Dear World: We’re Sorry…Again (47 Senators)

Some of you out there in the wider world may be getting sick of our apologies; and that is completely understandable. In 2001 we released one of history’s greatest morons upon you, after slightly less than half of us voted for him (well, half the engaged voters, anyway) one not satisfied with finger-painting or collecting odd shaped potatoes, no, his hobbies included stealing from the national treasury and giving it to our richest; ripping up treaties…oh, and starting wars. So, the sane and decent half of our country apologized to you. And we meant it. But in the years after the 9-11 terrorist attacks, a good portion of our country started a long (and still ongoing) process of losing their fucking minds. A never-ending process of continually becoming dumber and meaner. It’s like they sniff glue for breakfast and have meth for lunch. And those people unleashed Bush on the world a second time. And a second time, we apologized.

We were done with you? No! These glue sniffing methheads, who now proudly call themselves teabaggers, have become more populous and powerful in our congress. These whiny, reality denying, sadistic embarrassments to the human race – and let’s face it, there are others like them throughout the planet – have tried to scuttle an agreement between our country and Iran. In the process of their temper tantrum, they made the world more dangerous by messing with international nuclear agreements, of which they have zero understanding… scratch that…they would have a better track record if they guessed at what positions they should take in important matters – they seem to actively seek out the most moronic, most destructive outcome, and then push that idea. Plus, they have implied thousands of our agreements, both past and future are meaningless and subject to cancellation arbitrarily.

So, you people out there must be sick of hearing us apologize for our greedy, war mongers and torturers, our morons who believe Jesus runs the Republican Party, who think science is malleable and depends on monetary outcomes, who hate the poor, etc. Well, we’re sick of apologizing for them, too. But, we owe you this one.

Sorry for our dipshits – again. We will honor our agreements, both past and future. And we’ll try hard to stop any wars they are dreaming about. Thanks for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Sane America