johnnyplankton
johnnyplankton's JournalBoston Priest Caught With Adult Hooker, Vatican Secretly Rejoices
August 6, Boston, MA Vatican officials reportedly breathed a sigh of relief today when it was learned that Rev. Monsignor Arthur M. Coyle was arrested for paying an ADULT prostitute for sex in a car behind a cemetery. My God, I am so damned happy, said a Vatican official who requested anonymity. When you hear priest and sex and scandal in the same sentence, you cant help but go there. When I heard it was an adult, I felt tears of joy.
While police officials would not reveal the sex of the prostitute, Frankly we were just happy that the Monsignor was with someone who had pubic hair, said the official.
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/08/06/boston-priest-caught-with-adult-hooker-vatican-secretly-rejoices/|
CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Reportedly Distraught That Interview With Bomber’s Cat Will Not Air
New York, NY While publicly expressing joy over the capture of Dzhokar Tsarnaev, the remaining suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, journalism legend Wolf Blitzer is said to be deeply disappointed that what his interview with the suspects cat Fluffy will not air following the apparent closure to the case.[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/19/cnns-wolf-blitzer-reportedly-distraught-that-interview-with-bombers-cat-no-longer-relevant/|
Homicidal Maniacs Rejoice As Senate Bends Over for NRA
From the Fishington Cheesington Post
Washington, DC - The criminally insane, End Times religious fanatics and libertarians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as the Senate honored the wishes of pretty much no one and shot down a proposed law that would require background checks for lots of people who probably shouldnt be given plastic knives at McDonalds.
More at link:
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/18/homicidal-maniacs-terrorists-rejoice-as-senate-bends-over-for-nra/|
Despite Salient Filibuster Point, Rand Paul Still Completely Berserk
From the Guys at Fishington Cheesington Post:
In a rare display of sanity bordering on moral courage, Kentucky Senator and Tea Party loon Rand Paul began a talking filibuster that actually made sense questioning whether it was OK for the U.S. government to kill Americans via drone attack before veering off into his trademark incoherent paranoid gibberish.
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/03/07/despite-salient-filibuster-point-rand-paul-still-completely-berserk/|
Some Republicans Finally Agree That Punching Women In Face Not Such A Good Idea, Pass Bill
A little satire from the Fishington Cheesington Post
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/28/some-republicans-finally-agree-punching-women-in-face-not-such-a-hot-idea/|
Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem
Some of my AA's pals liked this:
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/ |
Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem
From the boys at the Fishington Cheesington Post:
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/|
Fox News Ships Palin to the "Glue Factory" (News Satire)
Underscoring the GOP's attitudes towards women, Faux News has fired Sarah Palin because she's "aged out"
A quick excerpt:
Christ, its not like we hired her for her brains or incisive political insight, said a Fox executive who requested anonymity. She just had that Sexy Librarian persona going, and half our ads are for Cialis anyway, so we thought it was a good fit. The old white guys who watch our network used to dig her at least until that whole MILFy thing went south.
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/01/26/fox-news-ships-palin-to-glue-factory/|
Boehner Planning To Go On “Epic Bender” Say Aides
Boehner Planning To Go On Epic Bender Say AidesWashington, DC, January 2nd, 2012 - Following a humiliating year which has his role as Speaker of the House in jepoardy, John Boehner is looking forward to really tying on the feed bag to blot out all memories of the past year according to aides.
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/|
Texas Arms All Nursery School Students - Satire
From the Fishington Cheesington post:
The gun manufacturers have been very helpful too," says Wil Wild Bill Wilkersen, director of Texas newly-founded Lil Commandos Nursery School. "We got some special weapons that theyve designed for us that fit the hands of our little angels better. Theyre seeing a great business opportunity here, just as we are, so its kind of a win-win. Except for Mister Stranger Danger, he laughed.
[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/12/26/texas-arms-all-nursery-school-students/|
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Name: MikeGender: Male
Hometown: Boston
Home country: U.S.
Current location: Boston, MA
Member since: Fri Aug 15, 2008, 09:32 PM
Number of posts: 351