I think I'm just struggling to still feel useful. I can't due much anymore due to disabilities I've accumulated from a bout of Transverse Myelitis and the MS.
So much of our self esteem is tied up in our sense of purpose and what we can do for others, and I can't do very much anymore, even my brain doesn't work right anymore. So I guess I paint because I like having hope that someday if I ever get good enough I can still have something I can give to others that they would like.
Made it for my in-laws, I hope they will like it!
16x20 Ampersand Pastelbord
Soft pastel on 8x10 Uart 400 grit sanded paper. First time trying to post a photo. Hope it works.
Heart so sad and weary I think I will never feel happiness again.
Live on forever.
My grandfather had a stroke and passed out, less than a year before he died.
He was so upset they brought him back to life. He was angry. "Why'dja have to go and wake me up?"
He talked about how he was in a place with the most beautiful gardens he had ever seen.
He was a farmer all his life, dropped out of school in the fourth grade to work the plow, and knew all about gardens and growing things.
He said it was just so beautiful, and he felt so happy there, and he just couldn't describe it, but he had tears running down his face as he tried, this grizzled old Montana farmer who never cried over anything.
I would like to think the beautiful agave plant goes to the beautiful gardens to bloom forever.
What do you think, Omaha Steve?
I hope she gives care to you, too.
It took me twelve years of going to the doctors, before anyone even suggested it might be MS.
Before that, my weird numbness, bladder spasms/pain, intense fatigue, spells of depression, were all written off as hysteria.
As I tell every doc I see now, "they were right....it was all in my head....oh and in my spinal cord, too."
Life is way way way easier now that the doctors actually believe me and want to help me instead of doing the "get out of my exam room" and rolled eyes routine.
Yeah I'm bitter, LOL, who wouldn't be?
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