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MiddleFingerMom

MiddleFingerMom's Journal
MiddleFingerMom's Journal
April 3, 2012

A cheap toy to amuse your kitties with:

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Take a rolling paper and tear it (with the grain so it tears straight) into thin strips.
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Fold it over about 1/4-1/3 of the way down (the bent part should just lean over
at about 30 degrees -- kinda like ONE arm of the letter "Y&quot .
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Hold it as high as you can and get your kitty's attention. Release. It'll spin quickly
and fall to the ground slowly -- looking amazingly bug-like. I've not seen a cat yet
that could resist playing with you at this game for a long, LONG time (well, Greycat
quit pretty quickly -- she was pretty pudgy but she would go all ninja gymnastics
BONKERS for about 6 good leaps before she just plain tuckered out -- but it was
the ONLY exercise I could ever get her involved in).
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April 2, 2012

The cutest li'l ol' lumpy squee (l.o.l.s) you're gonna see today:

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April 2, 2012

One of the "April Fool's Day" pics that I posted that people seemed to really like...

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... was the taping of a "skirt" onto the black male silhouette on a restroom door to
turn a "Men's Room" into a "Ladies' Room".
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I was a young, inexperienced naive shy Midwestern smalltown boy who had JUST
turned 18 and was freshly-stationed in Germany. I went to a club/disco in town
(not my cup of tea, but I was curious). Drinking, having a pretty good time when
I had to use the restroom. Upstairs... no lines... GREAT. I found the Men's Room
and went inside and sat in a stall. It dawned on me pretty quickly that if I had
WANTED to stand up, there had been no place for me to do so.
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About the instant of that epiphany, women started coming in and filling the place
up. I was MORTIFIED -- and hoped no one would look under the door and see
my combat boots (civilian clothes but, you know... shoes take away from your
beer budget).
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I was stuck there for a good 20-30 minutes, certain that I was going to get
busted (and not in a GOOD way, neither).
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Finally, it cleared out and I was able to make a dash out without being noticed.
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Sure enough -- some joker had switched the signs. The regulars all knew where
to go -- but not this disco virgin.
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No matter what, now I STILL always look for urinals in an unfamiliar public loo.
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April 2, 2012

Like falling in the toilet because the seat is up, MFM is convinced no man would ever do THIS twice!

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MFM caught "himself" once... caught "himself" REAL GOOD. 35 years ago. Not since, nonono!!!!
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When a medic on overnight duty on the night of April 1st, MFM had a very drunken soldier come into
the dispensary about 1 AM. It took him awhile to admit what was wrong with him -- he had zipped
"himself" up in his zipper. He had actually gone to his room and cut his pants OFF before coming down.
MFM knew what had to be done, but was alone and didn't want to risk any serious (albeit unlikely)
complications from the "treatment" -- a good stiff (pardon the expression) YANK!!!
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Sending him to the ER 15 minutes away, MFM called them to tell them what to expect. After explaining
that it was NOT a prank, he blurted it out. The nurse on the other end dropped the phone and MFM heard
him saying, "Oh, you guys have GOTTA hear this one."
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Patient was treated without incident.
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I bet he's worn NOTHING but button-fly pants to this day.
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April 2, 2012

MiddleFingerMom's face is on a "NOT Wanted" poster at the front door of EVERY strip club in Arizona.

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April 2, 2012

Hemingway's lesser-known alternate novel -- "The Old Fish and the Sea":

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April 2, 2012

Feelin' bad? Just bookmark this.

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April 2, 2012

A GUARANTEED path to true happiness:

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April 2, 2012

Want a friend for your little Pokey?

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OMG!!! = Oh My Gumby!!!

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Profile Information

Gender: Male
Home country: U.S.A.
Current location: Arizona
Member since: Thu Dec 31, 2009, 03:49 PM
Number of posts: 25,163

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