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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 2,410

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Braveheart the Cat Died This Morning

He had suffered a series of strokes, caused by his high blood pressure. This morning he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. He is survived by his sister, Wicca, and his best buddy Bowtie, and his two twolegs. He will be much missed.

If you would honor him, care for cats.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Dec 25, 2014, 11:49 AM (44 replies)

1: Gone With the Wind

Scarlett O'Hara was a self absorbed, empty headed shit. When Clark Gable said he didn't give a damn, I said 'I never did, why did you?'

2: The junnery twins, Little Big Nose and Plays With Camera. Aka Little Big Man and Dances with Wolves. In the first, every character is a cliche even the horses. My girl friend and I left the theater when the movie implied rape is funny. I fell asleep in the second watching Kevin Cost play with himself.

3: Any Elvis movie after Jailhouse Rock. Elvis plays Elvis, he sings, gets in a clumsy fist fight and gets the girl. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.

4,5: Surviving and 'Night Mother. Ain't Teen Suicide Romantic? I'm glad Heathers put a stop to the whole trend.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Dec 6, 2014, 03:58 PM (1 replies)

How Old Cary Grant?


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Dec 5, 2014, 02:46 PM (5 replies)

Here's How It Ends, By Edgar Allan Poe's Cat

The End of the Raven
by Edgar Allan Poe's Cat

On a night quite unenchanting,
when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting
of the man I catch mice for.

Tipsy and a bit unshaven,
in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched
above the chamber door.

"Raven's very tasty," thought I,
as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more".

Soft upon the rug I treaded,
calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded
bust of Pallas I deplore.

While the bard and birdie chattered,
I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered,
as I crossed the corridor;

For his house is crammed with trinkets,
curios and weird decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.

Still the Raven never fluttered,
standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered,
his two cents' worth - "Nevermore."

While this dirge the birdbrain kept up,
oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly leapt up,
pouncing on the feathered bore.

Soon he was a heap of plumage,
and a little blood and gore-
Only this and not much more.

"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out,
"Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout
talking to a bird before.

How I've wallowed in self-pity,
while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" -
then I heard him start to snore.

Back atop the door I clambered,
eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.

- "The End of the Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe's Cat
(from Henry Beard's, _POETRY_FOR_CATS_, copyright 1994)


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Oct 18, 2014, 06:19 PM (3 replies)

Law Enforcement Is Getting Out of Hand, Not Crime

I am a nearly sixty year old male Euro-American and in the last six weeks and by local police I have been: Stopped while fumbling with keys and accused of breaking into my own house, Stopped while walking through my own neighborhood and asked what I was doing there, Stopped and accused of stealing my own car, Stopped while driving through a different neighborhood and asked what I was doing there, Stopped in the parking lot of the place I work and asked what I was doing there, Questioned while waiting for a bus, Questioned when getting off a bus.

Obviously the local peelers are fighting fire with fire, they're trying to stop crime with more crime.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Aug 17, 2014, 11:25 PM (1 replies)

I-word a-word e-word s-word o-word t-word w-word n-word o-word t-word f-word?

I-word s-word y-word c-word p-word a-word o-word t-word f-word w-word s-word u-word p-word c-word a-word b-word ow-rd. T-word s-word p-word w-word d-word t-word r-word t-word o-word o-word g-word t-word o-word w-word s-word d-word t-word s-word t-word t-word t-word. T-word c-word R-word! R-word! R-word! or S-word! S-word! S-word!. T-word s-word r-word w-word R-word R-word t--word U-word S-word P-word s-word. "I-word y-word d-word w-word t-word s-word a-word y-word, d-word -word s-word t-word a-word a-word e-word. I-word t-word g-word o-word m-word l-word, a-word p-word w-word b-word l-word t-word, t-word e-word o-word c-word. D-word e-word t-word n-word r-word h-word w-word t-word?

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jun 28, 2014, 07:13 PM (6 replies)

A Thought About Catcher In the Rye

I read it years ago and thought "What a whining shit this Holden Caulfield is." I hold to that. The biggest 'phony' in the book is Holden Caulfield. And I'm not the first to say that, I'm probably the millionth. And it is that book was intended to be part of a series, each titled after a baseball position and a grain, "The Pitcher in the Wheat", "The First Baseman in the Oats", the "Second Baseman in the Barley", "The Third Baseman in the Quinoa", "The Shortstop in the Rice", "The Left Fielder in the Spelt", "The Center Fielder in the Corn", and "The Right Fielder in the Millet". But after finishing Catcher in the Rye, Salinger decided that he had said all he had to say, and decided to shut down. A wise thing that other writers could emulate.

But in my opinion, and as far as I can discern, this book is popular because J.D. Salinger's character is the FIRST teenager in literature to talk the way teenagers actually talk. That is the reason for its popularity among the young. Everybody who went to high school in the 40's and 50's knew a self absorbed shit like Holden Caulfield. He's real. He sweats real sweat and farts real farts. Contrast him to other literary teens, Andy Hardy, Penrod, the kids in Our Town and so on. How prettied up they seem. How fake they seem. Their 'Golly, gosh, gee's fade before a single 'damn' from Holden Caulfield.

Salinger freed writers to describe teenagers as they 'are', not as they 'should be'.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat May 31, 2014, 10:15 PM (14 replies)

I Know Those Restaurant Rescue Shows are Fake but..

I would like to see. When the cameras are set up and the Celebrity asshole, Willie Degel the credit card fraudster, Robert Irvine or that Mystery Diners asshole starts abusing the staff, they say, "We're not gonna take this to keep these fucking minimum wage jobs. We quit!" Everybody, from head chef to dishwasher walks out. The owner turns to the celebrity asshole and says, "You've ruined me, you dumb shit. I'll sue!"

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Mar 23, 2014, 03:27 AM (6 replies)

Joe, No Matter How Much You Want to Be

No matter how much you kiss their ass, no matter how much you study, write and learn; you will never be an old money, old family, WASP. You're a sh**ny, Joe. A Old Money, Old Family WASP will go into business with you, employ you as an accountant, lawyer, doctor, or dentist, have cocktails with you at a bar, borrow from you and lend money to you, buy and sell with you, have an affair with your daughter or son, and have dinner at your house or your club. But you will never be welcome at his club, welcome at his house, or be regarded as anything other than a pushy, money grubbing Jew.

There are exceptions, or course. But that is the attitude from my experience. The OMOF Wasps would NEVER join the Klan, or the Nazis, that's vulgar and common, and will get you blackballed.
But Joe, you will NEVER be regarded as their equals.


(Who is neither Jewish, nor an OMOF WASP, but has had experience with both. The above has been told me by members of both communities.)
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Jan 2, 2014, 11:29 PM (0 replies)
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