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ellenrr

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Member since: Sun Feb 6, 2011, 08:14 AM
Number of posts: 3,858

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what we owe ourselves vs what we owe others

I know this is a low activity forum, and my post is long,
but if anyone has a comment I would appreciate it.
I keep thinking about this:

Yesterday I was sitting in a spot in the park, where I sit in the sun, there are birds and trees.
I bring some coffee, an apple, a book.
Yesterday was a surprisingly warm day for Nov, I was really enjoying sitting by myself.
Plus, I had just come thru a difficult emotional period, and I was really relishing the feeling of peace I had and I was enjoying being by myself.

so suddenly someone walks up behind me, it is someone I've known for years.
For the last couple of years he's been on anti-depressants and is, as they say, "low affect".
ie. he mostly does not talk, except he will answer questions. (one word or two).

Sometimes I invite him to go for a walk because a) I don't think he gets out very much and he likes to be with people, and b) altho someone who doesn't say a word, sometimes it can be somewhat nervous-making, but on the other hand sometimes it can be relaxing not to deal with someone's chatter. c) because he is my friend.

So yesterday, he sat down next to me on the grass.
I did NOT want him there. I didn't want to be sociable with anyone.
So I tried to think what to do -
make up a sudden appointment, and leave? I didn't want to bec. I really like this location, and besides in another hour, the sun would be setting.

I really couldn't say "I'd like to be alone", could I?
Could you?
I think that would be very hurtful....

so I waited. I asked him if he minded if I continued to read my book cuz it was such a good mystery book. He said he didn't, so I did.
But I couldn't read, cuz i kept thinking, "Gee I wish I could be alone"

anyway... in about 15 minutes he left, but I been thinking ever since--
sometimes it is a difficult balance-
between one's own needs and others'.

I know for him, the best outcome would have been, if I had initiated conversation with him. But conversation with him is a one-person endeaver, and I just was not in the mood to make that kind of effort.

Any meditators here?

I'm attending a class of mindfulness meditation.
would like to discuss if there is any interest.

(Meditation and Buddhism not synonymous of course.
Just looking for other meditators
Many Buddhists practice one form or another of meditation.)

stop apologizing, white people on du

it's turning my stomach.

As an American am I going to apologize bec. the US drops bombs on Afghanis?
As a Jew am I going to apologize for Jews who kill Palestinian babies?
As a white person am I going to apologize for white assholes who burn Black churches?
as an American of European ancestry am I going to apologize to Native people for the genocide?
as a hetero am I going to apologize for the trans people - esp trans people of color - who are killed?
as an American am I going to apologize to the whole Earth for the Ann Coulters?

What the fuck good does that do?
except make me feel like I'm a "good white person"
can you say 'syncophant"?!

Shit if I apologize for all the things in the all world throughout time, people of my ethnic background did to others, I wouldn't have time to take a breath.

I'd much rather put my body where my mouth is:

join people who are protecting a mosque or a Black church.
join or create a demo protesting US policy of bombing Afghani civilians.
educate other people who look like me.
write letters to the newspaper protesting racist acts
Join Black Lives Matter.

Fuck there are a million things you can do - people who apologize just want to be let off the hook.
I don't want to be let off the hook.
I should be held responsible and accountable.
I will apologize that I haven't done enough, that my own actions are small and ineffective.
But I won't take responsibility for all the actions/words of people who look like me.

Shit if some male apologized to me for the war on women, or for rape.
I would say, "Don't apologize. Protect women when they go to Planned Parenthood"
"Create a program to stop men from raping."

The apologizing I see on du is making me sick.
Talk about hollow words.
talk about making yourself feel good because in reality you do NOTHING.

"Here comes the Berniebro"

The Berniebro is posting a video on his Facebook wall: You really have to watch this. Bernie Sanders says things that no other candidate would ever consider. These are real policy proposals that just might change the country.

The Berniebro doesn’t really have a good answer when you ask why the Democratic Party, which has spent six years explaining how its market-based health-care policies aren’t socialist, would ever find national success nominating an actual democratic socialist.
The Berniebro had an equal chance, four years ago, of being (a) an Occupybro or (b) the kind of bro who asked, repeatedly and insistently, what Occupy’s concrete policy proposals were.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/10/here-comes-the-berniebro-bernie-sanders/411070/


---I KNOW this guy!
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