TexasTowelie
TexasTowelie's JournalSen. Eddie Lucio Files Bill Requiring Texas Men To Take Three-Hour Masturbation Course Before Sex
Senator Eddie Lucio (D) announced today that he's filing a bill that will require all male Texans to complete a required 3-hour webinar on masturbation techniques before every instance of having consensual intercourse in Texas.
The bill -- which is only directed at men, causing some activists to question why no webinar is required for women, should any of them ever be involved in the act of sexual intercourse -- is viewed as the latest effort to create unnecessary barriers between men and their reproductive decisions.
Men's rights advocates argued that men are already well aware of the option of masturbation before they choose to seek a partner, and that this paternalistic legislation is just intended for Lucio to demonstrate that he knows best what men should do with their bodies.
Lucio explained the rationale for his bill in an interview:
"We're not trying to hurt the potential father, we're trying to help the unejaculated be ejaculated," he told the Austin American-Statesman newspaper.
But unplanned ejaculation advocates do not believe the classes would help anyone.
"What I don't like about it is it seems punitive," said Ron Johnson, executive director of the Austin-based nonprofit Ejaculation Alternatives Inc. "It's another hoop for men to jump through when they face an unplanned sexual encounter."
"More" online at http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/13892/sen-eddie-lucio-files-bill-requiring-texas-men-to-take-threehour-masturbation-course-before-sex .
[font color=green]
Oops, I didn't read below the jump--it is satire.[/font]
Dozens clown around in Irving for annual convention
Rick Perry
Ted Cruz
?
John Cornyn
[font color=green]
Okay folks, I was having fun with all of you. There really was a clown convention in Irving this weekend--here is the actual story:[/font]
Andy Anderson was a service adviser at a car dealership in 1984 when he landed his first clown gig: a Father’s Day picnic at his church in Hurst.
“We pulled up in a van and threw the doors open and jumped out and scared half the kids to death,” Anderson said. “But even the ones we scared, they came to it after a while. We were just big kids to them.”
Anderson, 66, has been a clown ever since, traveling across the country to churches, festivals and birthday parties. He’s spent years refining his act, adding magic tricks and developing his character, “Smiley.”
Clowning is a passion for Anderson and his wife, Rhea, who were among the 136 clowns at the Texas Clown Association convention in Irving. Andy Anderson is a past president of the association and helped organize the five-day event that wrapped up Sunday.
More at http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/irving/headlines/20130804-dozens-of-clowns-go-for-laughs-in-irving-at-annual-convention.ece .
TABC remains unable to punish bars serving intoxicated patrons due to ruling
DALLAS -- Former Dallas Cowboys player Josh Brent and teammate, Jerry Brown were hanging out at Beamers Private Club in Dallas, also known as Privae, hours before the suspected DWI crash that killed Brown and left Brent facing intoxication manslaughter charges.
After the incident, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) launched an investigation. It issued a press release Friday, claiming it found "sufficient evidence" that employees sold alcohol to an intoxicated person and "promoted excessive consumption" by patrons that night.
Evidence, the TABC says, it can use to move forward with its investigation and possibly pull the club's permit, but it won't. According to the agency, it’s waiting until the "conclusion of the criminal case against Brent."
“If that bar continues to operate, they don't have any consequences for their actions. Are they still allowing those things to continue?” asked attorney Pete Schulte. “And, that's the concern.”
More at http://www.khou.com/news/texas-news/dallas-news/TABC-remains-unable-to-punish-bars-serving-intoxicated-patrons-due-to-ruling-218231801.html .
TABC rule §11.641 (c):
“...the cancellation of a permit, may not be imposed on the basis of a criminal prosecution in which the defendant was found not guilty, the criminal charges were dismissed, or there has not been final adjudication.”
Hondo-based pizza bakers shoot for Guinness world record
SAN ANTONIO -- A Texas company tried to set the world record for the largest commercially-available pizza.
On Saturday, the Dirt Road Cookers baked a massive 46.2 square-foot pie in attempt to break the Guinness World Records Museum across the street from the Alamo. (approximately 8 feet in diameter)
The current record was 5.4 feet across and 20.25 square feet. Once authenticated, the pizza baked Saturday would be the world record, Davis Phillips wrote in an email, the President and CEO of Phillips Entertainment.
Chef Kurt Oefinger, who leads to Hondo-based catering team, said they would be busting out their custom made oven to cook a total of four pizzas, all which will be available to spectators.
More at http://www.kvue.com/news/state/font-color--000099bPHOTOS-fontbHondo-based-pizza-bakers-shoot-for-Guinness-world-record--218287861.html .
Photos at http://www.kvue.com/news/state/font-color--000099bPHOTOS-fontbHondo-based-pizza-bakers-shoot-for-Guinness-world-record--218287861.html?gallery=y&c=y#/news/state/font-color--000099bPHOTOS-fontbHondo-based-pizza-bakers-shoot-for-Guinness-world-record--218287861.html?gallery=y&c=y&img=0 .
Train derails in Louisiana, about 50 homes evacuated
Source: AP
LAWTELL, La. — Authorities say a train carrying flammable and corrosive materials has derailed in Louisiana and about 50 homes have been evacuated as a precaution.
The homes are within one mile of the derailment. Police say at least 26 cars went off the tracks about 3:30 p.m. Sunday in Latwell, which is about 60 miles west of Baton Rouge.
Master Trooper Daniel "Scott" Moreau says authorities have not reported any injuries.
The Union Pacific train had 76 cars, and some of them held lube oil and vinyl chloride, KATC-TV reported.
Read more: http://lubbockonline.com/filed-online/2013-08-04/train-derails-la-about-50-homes-evacuated
NCAA investigating Manziel for potentially profiting from autographs
COLLEGE STATION – The complicated life of Texas A&M sophomore quarterback Johnny Manziel, the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner, just got quite a bit more complex.
The NCAA is investigating Manziel on whether he was “paid for signing hundreds of autographs on photos and sports memorabilia in January,” ESPN’s Outside the Lines has reported.
According to an online ESPN.com story: “Two sources tell ‘Outside the Lines’ that the Texas A&M quarterback agreed to sign memorabilia in exchange for a five-figure flat fee during his trip to Miami for the BCS National Championship Game. Both sources said they witnessed the signing, though neither saw the actual exchange of money.”
An A&M official couldn’t be reached for comment this afternoon. The Aggies reported for camp today and are scheduled to hold a press conference – Manziel is supposed to participate – starting 11:30 a.m. Monday. They take the field for the first time under second-year coach Kevin Sumlin on Monday evening.
To read the full story, click here: Sources: NCAA investigating Manziel.
http://blog.chron.com/sportsupdate/2013/08/otl-ncaa-investigating-manziel-for-potentially-profiting-from-autographs-2/?cmpid=hpfc
Cross-posted Texas Group.
NCAA investigating Manziel for potentially profiting from autographs
COLLEGE STATION – The complicated life of Texas A&M sophomore quarterback Johnny Manziel, the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner, just got quite a bit more complex.
The NCAA is investigating Manziel on whether he was “paid for signing hundreds of autographs on photos and sports memorabilia in January,” ESPN’s Outside the Lines has reported.
According to an online ESPN.com story: “Two sources tell ‘Outside the Lines’ that the Texas A&M quarterback agreed to sign memorabilia in exchange for a five-figure flat fee during his trip to Miami for the BCS National Championship Game. Both sources said they witnessed the signing, though neither saw the actual exchange of money.”
An A&M official couldn’t be reached for comment this afternoon. The Aggies reported for camp today and are scheduled to hold a press conference – Manziel is supposed to participate – starting 11:30 a.m. Monday. They take the field for the first time under second-year coach Kevin Sumlin on Monday evening.
To read the full story, click here: Sources: NCAA investigating Manziel.
http://blog.chron.com/sportsupdate/2013/08/otl-ncaa-investigating-manziel-for-potentially-profiting-from-autographs-2/?cmpid=hpfc
Cross-posted Football Group.
New Star-Spangled Banner takes shape in Maryland
BALTIMORE — It was 200 years ago this summer that a Baltimore flag-maker stitched the flag that inspired America’s national anthem. Now, hundreds of people are helping to recreate the star-spangled flag.
The project began July 4 in Baltimore, and it is expected to take volunteers six weeks to hand-sew the estimated 150,000 stitches in the famous flag. When finished, it will be about a quarter of the size of a basketball court.
-snip-
“It makes the link with the past in a very tangible way,” said Kristin Schenning, who is coordinating the project for the Maryland Historical Society in Baltimore and helping to raise the money for the flag’s approximately $12,000 cost.
The finished piece won’t look like the 13-stripe, 50-star flag of today. Instead, the flag has 15 stripes and 15 stars representing the number of states in the Union when the flag was stitched to fly over Baltimore’s Fort McHenry in 1813. The sight of the flag’s broad stripes and bright stars still waving after the British attacked the fort during the War of 1812 inspired Francis Scott Key to write his now-iconic lyrics.
More at http://www.santafenewmexican.com/life/travel/article_51cc87fc-5524-53cb-9e3d-3de3bd175b15.html .
Big problem: The Big Bang Theory’s stars are high on lithium
It's a drug! It's a battery! It's also a remnant of the Big Bang.
There’s big news this week in the field of astrophysics that concerns the Big Bang Theory and lithium, but it’s not about the TV show or the mood-stabilizing drug. But please don’t stop reading! This is important stuff, and it shores up what had been a glaring hole in our theory that describes the early development of the universe.
If you’re familiar with lithium, chances are that it’s because it’s a mood-stabilizing drug used to treat bipolar disorder or used in batteries. But I’m not talking about the drug today, but rather two isotopes of lithium, lithium-6 and lithium-7, the latter of which is by far the more common.
Anyway, let’s start with the Big Bang. Physicists believe that about three minutes after the Big Bang the temperature of the universe cooled from 100 nonillion (that’s a 1, with 32 zeros, or in non-technical parlance, “freaking hot”) degrees Celsius to about 1 billion degrees, at which point it was cool enough for protons and neutrons to clump together and collide with other protons and neutrons.
This is called the Big Bang Nucleosynthesis. In these collisions models of the early universe predict that only six light elements were formed, two isotopes each of hydrogen, helium, and lithium. And happily, present day observations the abundance of hydrogen and helium in stars match very nicely with the abundance predicted by the models.
http://blog.chron.com/sciguy/2013/08/big-problem-the-big-bang-theorys-stars-are-high-on-lithium/?cmpid=htx
Arlington-area teens get lesson in compassion after taking LGBT flag from Kennedale home
KENNEDALE — Four teenagers may have thought they were pulling a mischievous prank this week when they swiped the LGBT pride flag off the front of a Kennedale home.
What they got in the end was a car chase by the shoeless homeowner, a visit to the police station and a tough-love lecture about bullying and intolerance.
“I explained to them why I fly the U.S. flag and the [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community] flag,” said Felipe Gutierrez, the homeowner and a community activist. “It’s not because I’m gay. It’s because people have lost their lives and taken their own lives because they couldn’t live with being bullied and abused over their identity.”
The incident began about 8 p.m. Wednesday when Gutierrez decided to step outside to see how much it had rained. Through a window he saw one of the teens run from his yard and jump into a car.
Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/08/02/5052419/arlington-area-teens-get-lesson.html#storylink=cpy
Cross-posted in LGBT Group.
Profile Information
Gender: MaleHometown: South Texas. most of my life I lived in Austin and Dallas
Home country: United States
Current location: Bryan, Texas
Member since: Sun Aug 14, 2011, 03:57 AM
Number of posts: 112,123
