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Name: Defacto7
Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Portland, OR
Home country: not sure anymore
Current location: depends on which proxy I'm using
Member since: Wed Aug 1, 2012, 01:44 AM
Number of posts: 13,485

About Me

Humanist, Classical musician, Linux hack, Liberal, Cosmology enthusiast, Refuse resurrectionist, Living with you in purgatory

Journal Archives

I had a recurring dream over a few month period

some 20 years ago. It always started as I walked into a large church reminiscent of a protestant fundi church much like I attended as a child. But as I walked into the sanctuary the people were all dead, as a matter of fact they were piled up waist deep throughout including the isle. I continued walking into the sanctuary and with every consecutive recurrence of the dream I ventured farther up the isle climbing on the dead corpses and walking over them. I was never scared nor did I wake up like in a nightmare but I was very disturbed and hated being there. I noticed some were half dead just laying there looking up at me. Finally after many recurrences I got all the way to the platform where the ministers were dead as well. I turned around and looked at the bodies in the audience and said with a very calm but deeply moved heart, "I do not need to be here". The dream ended and I have not had it since.

Over time, I think my psyche was struggling with a deep seated unsettled issue that played out in this dream. It was my past, growing up in a religious environment, attending churches like this as a child, struggling with the religious teaching that never satisfied my curiosity about reality.... and that it was no longer necessary to be confronted with it. It was the point where it was finally put to rest. The past was dead and I no longer needed to connect to the contradictory religious teachings of my past childhood. I was finally free of it.
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