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Member since: Tue Nov 6, 2012, 11:29 AM
Number of posts: 12,285

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Wizard of OZ humor

Dorothy: I miss Kansas.

Toto: I miss the rains down in Africa.

Phrases you don't want to hear:

There's a problem with your transmission

We only have middle seats left.

We don't make that model anymore.

He's up and tweeting.

Indecisive people are always

under the whether!

I was going to tell you a time traveling joke

but you didn't like it.

Morning Humor

A guy goes into a bar and immediately notices 3 hunks of beef hanging from the ceiling. The patron asks the barkeep what's that all about? The barkeep says if you can jump up and slap the beef you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss, you buy drinks for everyone in the bar. The patron thinks about and says, no I'll pass, the steaks are too high.

If Drumpt is finally tossed from office his new Teevee show will be:

Dancing with the Czars.

Drumpt yammering on about "hardening schools" against attack.

Any chance Donnie Bone Spurs ever heard of the Maginot Line?

When I was in the Army I was confident everyone around was trained to carry

their weapons in a secure manner. I have no confidence here in AZ that many of the yahoos I see packing have any idea how to make their weapon safe, much less carry it in public without leaving it in on the bathroom or dropping on the mall floor while drinking an Orange Julius.

Music to one's ears.

Crack of the bat. Sound of the ball smacking into a glove. Clicking of the spikes on the dugout floor. Never changes!

Given Drumpt's advice to law enforcement and teachers, I don't

recall him charging into the Vietnam War.
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