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erronis

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Hometown: Green Mountains
Home country: US
Member since: Tue Feb 5, 2013, 04:27 PM
Number of posts: 11,446

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Sean Hannity Informs January 6th Panel that Swearing to Tell the Truth : Jeez - borowitz!

"Sean Hannity Informs January 6th Panel that Swearing to Tell the Truth Would Violate His Contract with Fox"

For everyone that can't stand to read articles without a bit of personal research: THIS IS SARCASM.

And yet you'll gladly accept postings with titles such as "Look at this cute cat". Or "The best tweet ever in the last 5 minutes!"

Sean Hannity has informed the congressional committee investigating the U.S. Capitol insurrection that swearing to tell the truth would be a violation of his contract with Fox News.

In a written statement, Hannity said that taking an oath “to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” would be “a betrayal of the solemn vow I made to Fox.”


Link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/sean-hannity-informs-january-6th-panel-that-swearing-to-tell-the-truth-would-violate-his-contract-with-fox

Ivanka Trump Reportedly Begged Putin to Order Her Dad to Stop Capitol Attack

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ivanka-trump-reportedly-begged-putin-to-order-her-dad-to-stop-capitol-attack

Ivanka Trump begged Vladimir Putin to command her father to call off the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, new reports indicate.

According to evidence collected by the House subcommittee investigating the insurrection, when Trump witnessed the rioting on television, she immediately placed a call to the Russian President.

“You’ve got to talk sense to my dad,” Trump reportedly pleaded. “You’re the only one he listens to.”

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“Not Jared?” the Russian leader inquired.

“He thinks Jared’s a joke,” she replied.

According to the report, Putin politely declined her request. “If it got out that I was helping save American democracy, that would make me look bad,” he explained.

Trump reportedly said that she “understood,” and then placed a call to the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un.


For those that don't understand - this is satire.
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