I've been self quarantined since March 12th. With no way to test if I have the virus I'm completely relying on rumor and hearsay. No science involved.

Tonic water: It has quinine in it right?

Z-Pack: I secured one, don't ask me how.

Ephedrine: I have to sign for this crap?

Vitamins: C and D

Marijuana: Cutout/Strawman purchase

Garlic: Wards off everything?

Was able to get an appointment for 4-21, maybe they will test me then. In the meantime, I'll stay high and cling to primitive superstitions and mind over matter delusions.

A random placebo should suffice.

It's a tight squeeze trying to cash your paycheck in a half hour lunch break and riding with a co-worker who humps Trump's hinie all the way through heavy traffic.

We cashed our checks, rushed to the truck to get back in time to clock in but this co-worker stops me:

"Where's my effin wallet?"

We search the truck it's not there. He goes in the bank, it's not there either.

He is going nuclear with the loud expletives. He gets back to the truck and gets all racial about Mexicans, the parking lot full of migrant workers cashing their checks just like us.

I know they could hear him, beyond cringeworthy. I just sat there, used soft tones trying to get him to chill out when I saw a Mexican woman approaching my window:

"Is this your wallet?" He reaches out rudely, grabs it firmly, opened the wallet and his effen eleven hundred dollars intact. He didn't even thank her.

Stereotype SHATTERED!

No Donald Dump, they aren't all thieves and rapists.