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Member since: Thu Feb 5, 2015, 09:32 PM
Number of posts: 3,569

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McCain Urges Military Strikes Against FIFA

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Calling the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” Senator John McCain on Thursday proposed military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA once and for all.”

“These are people who only understand one thing: force,” McCain said on the floor of the United States Senate. “We must make FIFA taste the vengeful might and fury of the United States military.”

McCain said that he was “completely unimpressed” by the Department of Justice’s arrests of several top FIFA lieutenants this week, calling the action “the kind of Band-Aid solution that this Administration, sadly, has become famous for.”

READ MORE SATIRE HERE: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mccain-urges-military-strikes-against-fifa
Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Thu May 28, 2015, 06:40 PM (6 replies)

The stupidest bunchashit you will read all day... (rock stacking banned in BOULDER?!?!)...

Overzealous police force make it illegal to stack rocks in Boulder County. WTF? -

Boulder has really been going overboard with the unnecessary rules lately. First, there was the controversial e e-cigarette ban that made it so the only place you could smoke a tobacco product in Boulder was ... outside of Boulder. Then, they banned dispensary coupons. Yes, coupons, the widely known source of evil and immmorality. You read that right.

And now, Boulder has extended its 1984-style government reach even further into the personal lives of its people by ... drum roll, please ... banning the artful stacking of rocks.
- See more at: http://www.therooster.com/blog/overzealous-police-force-make-it-illegal-stack-rocks-boulder-county-wtf#sthash.j6guHYqs.dpuf

Man oh man. Finally someone is taking on the problems of society....

Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Thu May 28, 2015, 01:46 PM (15 replies)

11 Things to Know About What It's Like to Run a Penis Museum

We couldn’t believe it either, but yep, there’s a museum for that! Hjörtur Gísli Sigurđsson, curator of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, exposes it all.
1. My father, Sigurđur Hjartarson, started to collect penises in 1974.

The first specimen was a pizzle—a dried bull’s penis. His friends gave it to him as a joke, but it sparked the idea to collect them. He kept the collection at home and it slowly grew. He opened it to the public in 1997.
2. He started collecting when I was 10 years old ...

... so I grew up with it and accepted it as normal, which it is. I had great adventures going to remote places to harvest organs with my father.
3. Most of our specimens are from Icelandic mammals.

People all over let us know if something happens, like if a whale beaches. Hunters also bring specimens, although we never ask for an animal to be killed just to harvest the organ.
4. We have one human specimen.

It was from a 95-year-old man. He signed a letter of donation in 1996, and when he died in 2011 a doctor removed his penis.
5. We also have 23 specimens from mystical creatures of Icelandic folklore ...

... such as elves, trolls, and mermen, found by people hiking the countryside. Some, we suspect, are man-made. Some are family heirlooms.

READ MORE: http://mentalfloss.com/article/64079/11-things-know-about-what-its-run-penis-museum
Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Wed May 27, 2015, 06:18 PM (6 replies)

Compassion Killed By Greed: Marijuana and the Green Rush

By Donna Lambert

I believe that human beings should have more rights than corporations.

The current direction of the marijuana movement is corruption and greed.

Create a two-tiered restrictive permitting pot monopoly that creates criminals out of everybody except a very small group of politically connected insiders who are able to pay off politicians to write up restrictive legislation that creates criminals out of almost every single human being except themselves.

Keep the artificially high prices of Prohibition for this select small group of corrupt, greedy self-interested people.
Donna Lambert, Freedom Fighter 420: "Legalizing marijuana could seriously hamper pharmaceutical corporate profits."

Donna Lambert, Freedom Fighter 420:
“Legalizing marijuana could seriously hamper pharmaceutical corporate profits.”

Because cannabis is a very easy to grow plant and if you grow it yourself the “restrictive permitting pot monopoly people” have to lower their prices to compete with you.

So their goal is to make you a criminal to eliminate competition and keep prices artificially high.


Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Sun May 17, 2015, 06:34 PM (4 replies)

Wanna know where to get high? there's an app for that!

Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Fri May 15, 2015, 01:41 PM (2 replies)

Breaking: Jeb Bush resigns as George W Bush's brother

Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Fri May 15, 2015, 12:46 PM (7 replies)

the price of weed

Wherever you are.
Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Thu May 14, 2015, 11:18 PM (18 replies)

Pot's Dark Side: Delusions, Psychotic Symptoms

Smoking marijuana can lead to more than a euphoric high, and has been linked to long-lasting delusions, mouth swelling and several other surprising effects, according to a new review of research on the recreational use of the drug.

"All recreational users should be aware of potential undesired acute cannabinoid effects," or the effects of being high on pot, study author Dr. Eva Hoch, of the department of addictive behavior and addiction medicine at the University of Heidelberg in Germany, told Live Science. The type and severity of these effects depend on many factors, such as the composition of the cannabis, how often someone uses marijuana, the user's disposition and how much they smoke, Hoch said.

Recreational marijuana use has been legalized in several U.S. states, but researchers are still learning about the effects the drug has on a person's mind and body.

To find out, Hoch and colleagues reviewed 116 previous studies that had focused on recreational use of marijuana, not medical marijuana use. The researchers "were surprised by the variety of potential mental and physical health effects reported in the literature," Hoch said.

For instance, from the review, they identified 12 signs of "acute intoxication" or being high on marijuana, which doctors could use to identify when someone is high. These included feeling anxious or agitated, having a slow reaction time or trouble paying attention, feeling euphoric and disinhibited, having an altered sense of time, having limited judgment abilities, experiencing acoustic, optic or tactile illusions, experiencing feelings of being separate from your body or from reality, exhibiting impaired overall physical and mental performance, experiencing hallucinations or paranoid delusions.

READ MORE: http://news.yahoo.com/pots-dark-side-delusions-psychotic-symptoms-144859094.html

Funny but I know a big ass load of stoners, in fact almost everyone I know, get to know or want to know are stoners. I know no one with these symptoms.
Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Thu May 14, 2015, 04:02 PM (15 replies)

Pot Is A Hallucinogen That Lets Satan Devour You, Says Colorado GOP Rep.

Pot Is A Hallucinogen That Lets Satan Devour You, Says Colorado GOP Rep. (VIDEO)

Gordon Klingenschmitt, the supreme moron of the Colorado state legislature, is back on his radio show, now that Colorado’s latest legislative session has ended. His controversial statements have, in the past, angered even some of his fellow Republicans, but he’s one of those religious right-wingers that doesn’t seem to care. He’s upset about Colorado legalizing pot, because the hallucinations it causes are actually invitations for demons to possess users.

First off, even the National Institutes of Health say that pot itself does not cause hallucinations. They do list some undesirable side effects, which can include red eyes and dry mouth, and panic and paranoia. Those last two are more common in first-time users, and people who already have a psychiatric illness.

It doesn’t list hallucinations, though. What it does say is that pot is sometimes cut with other drugs that do cause hallucinations. That’s likely where the myth that people on pot hallucinate comes from. The problem, though, is that spreading that myth in the name of morality is just flat-out stupid and wrong. Klingenschmitt described so-called pot hallucinations this way, according to Right Wing Watch:

“When you begin hallucinating, I’m told, and you begin seeing these images, do you think that’s coming from the spirit of God? No. You’re having apparitions and you are seeing and interacting with and welcoming to rule your heart a demonic spirit of drunkenness. That’s not recreational. It’s evil."

Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Thu May 14, 2015, 10:51 AM (10 replies)

Anybody like REAL country music?

I do. I saw a great band last night, the King of Austin, Wayne Hancock. Great show. Very musical. The real thing, no hair and makeup, down home barroom dancing and singing.

Then there is the darling of the new country, Sturgill Simpson who is writing amazing songs and sounding like Hank..... (Hank would have done it this way!).

Asleep at the Wheel is coming to my town next week. Big Sandy and the Fly Right Boys too all play old school country. The country of the honky-tonks. The country of the steel guitar and the telecaster. The country of Hank, and Johnny, and Waylon.....
Posted by ghostsinthemachine | Sat May 9, 2015, 06:16 PM (45 replies)
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