Mountain Mule
Mountain Mule's JournalColorado town becomes the first in the Nation to place a bounty on witches!
And now for a little humor on your Sunday afternoon...
Cortez, Colorado: According to a press release issued on Friday by the Montezuma County Board of Commissioners, locals may now apply for a witch-hunting permit that is valid anywhere in the county. Permits cost $25.00 each and the county will pay a bounty of $500.00 for every verified kill. Bounty hunters must submit a broom, hat, and a magic wand from each deceased witch in order to collect the check.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an official from the Montezuma County Sheriff’s Department further clarified that in the event a NRA inspired sharpshooter inadvertently brings down an Amazon drone, she will not face prosecution. The official went on to clarify:
“Amazon’s Jeff Bezos is the Spawn of the Devil. Our president* has explained to the nation that Amazon has been taking advantage of the US Postal Service and the Taxpayer for years now. If one of Amazon’s free loading drones goes MIA, no one here in Trump country will shed a single tear.”
When asked what prompted local officials to implement the bounty, County Commissioner, Alferd Packer explained:
“Seems like every morning when we tune in the local agricultural show, there’s yet another mention concerning the president’s* complaints about witches and witch hunts. It’s bad enough out here that we have to contend with varmints like coyotes and prairie dogs, but witches?
As patriotic Americans and loyal rural Trump voters, we decided to stand up and support our president*. As everyone knows, the president* and his staff are stretched pretty thin these days what with draining the swamp, tearing babies from the arms of their mothers, starting a global trade war, and making speeches extolling the virtues of Vladimir Putin.
This is the perfect opportunity for our farmers and ranchers to step in, get out their semi-automatics, and aim for the sky! To be honest, before we hit on the witch-hunting thing, farmers in rural Colorado were getting a tad discouraged. Not only have we been dealing with the worst drought in 30 years, Canada has imposed a 60% tariff on pinto beans – our main crop – in retaliation for the new US tariff on Canadian dairy products, as well as steel and aluminum. The witch bounty will help many a local farmer or rancher pay off their property liens and keep their tractors. Take THAT, Canada!”
In addition, the local Chamber of Commerce is quite upbeat, predicting that the witch bounty will bring in sportsmen and tourists from all over the United States and beyond. The permit fee for non-Colorado residents is $2,000 and 47 such permits have been sold already. Montezuma County plans to use the funds from the sale of witch hunting permits to create a hemp and recreational marijuana crop growing program which will encourage local farmers to switch from growing the highly volatile pinto bean and put in a few thousand acres of Maui Wowie instead. “We plan to keep the entire Front Range from Fort Collins to Pueblo stoned out of their minds. Ain’t no tariffs on that!” Mr. Packard exclaimed.
Indeed.
My Experiences in Trump-Land - Lessons learned
Like many here, I woke up the day after the 2016 elections and received one of the most unpleasant, demoralizing surprises of my life. The Traitor had WON???? How was this even possible? My home state of Colorado becomes bluer by the day and voted for Hillary, no problem. Yet Colorado still retains some large pockets of red voters - mainly the highly conservative city of Colorado Springs and various far flung republican strongholds in the rural areas of the state. I live in rural Colorado on what Coloradans refer to as the "Western Slope." My county is poor and relatively isolated. The farmers and ranchers and small business owners here voted Trump with 70% of the county casting their ballots for the orange clown.
I did not want to think that my neighbors and friends were racist or were okay with cutting assistance to the poor in what is one of Colorado's most impoverished counties. I didn't want to accept that I live among such backward and mean-spirited people. I even posted here that I found it hard to believe that every last person who voted for Trump did so at least in part because they were bigots. So, I set out on a quest to try and figure it all out.
I don't like bringing up politics with acquaintances here because I'd much rather get along and hope that they'll eventually see the error of their ways. But that changed after Trump's so-called election. I started talking to people like "Ritchie" - the devout Christian who runs the farm I live on - and "Bud" a lifelong republican who is my landlady's husband. When I first brought up the subject to Ritchie in a sideways comment about the ongoing drought we've been experiencing, made worse by climate change; mild mannered Ritchie just blew up at me, and I beat a hasty retreat. About 6 months into our national nightmare, Bud came over to do some minor repairs on my house. We started out with some polite chit-chat until the subject of government regulation came up. Bud made the typical conservative remark about we Democrats being "Commies" and based our platform on Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto, etc., etc.
I was feeling my oats that day, so I engaged Bud in a political debate. I told him that I had never been interested in the study of Marx and that I prefered to base my political beliefs on the writings of Jefferson and Thomas Paine and that the Democratic Party has used the thinking of the great philosophers of the Enlightenment as their baseline - certainly NOT Marx. Bud was astonished and began to speak in a more personal vein, and ending up telling me that he felt "abandoned" by the republican party and had nowhere to go. Score one for our side!
I had another encounter with Ritchie a few weeks later, and he was shaking his head over Trump's sexual escapades and told me that he didn't see how he as a Christian could continue to support the president*. BTW, had I noticed how low the snowpack in our mountains is this year? Going to be a drought year for sure! Score two for our side!
Other conversations with Trumpers here showed me that many of them are completely brainwashed and when it comes to them, discussion is a waste of time. They are racist, have huge arsenals of guns, and believe that every last person on food stamps uses them to buy lobster and filet mignon. This contingent is unreachable and not worth wasting the time to try.
The Democratic party CAN turn voters like Ritchie and Bud, however. They would vote for a centrist Democrat along the lines of Conor Lamb. It is possible to reach disenchanted moderate republicans as well as independents, especially if we allow our candidates to speak to the concerns of the voters in their district as Lamb did. We don't need to concede the things in our platform that make us Democrats. We most certainly don't need to turn against pro-choice or concede the field to racists and crazed gun nuts. These elements among the electorate have minds that are ossified and their thinking is set in concrete. Forget about them.
Concentrate on voters like Bud and Ritchie, and I'm willing to bet a $1,000 bucks that my currently red district would go blue come November.
Just my humble opinion.
My republican friend and her little girl are coming with me to a protest rally!
It's been a difficult year for my friend "Marta" and her 8 year-old daughter "Koko." First Koko lost her health insurance when the repugs in Congress refused to do anything to fund the CHIP program because giving tax breaks to billionaires was their priority one - I asked Marta if her own paycheck had gone up and she said "no."
Then the school shootings in Florida happened. Marta was already worried when she sent Koko off to school each morning after the school bus left Koko behind and the school - and Marta - had no idea where she was. That was awful. Poor Marta searched everywhere crying and shaking until Koko was safely found sitting under a shade tree on the school grounds. Just like everyone else, Marta was horrified at the deaths of those poor children. She downloaded onto her phone the pictures of the 17 people who were killed and showed them to me with tears in her eyes.
Koko was already anxious about going to school thanks to the school bus incident. Now she wakes up every morning with a tummy ache and begs to stay home. School has become a place where bad things can happen.
When the local Dems notified me that they're planning a gun control rally in the town park, I asked Marta if she and Koko would like to come with me and Marta said yes. WOW! My town is located in conservative rural Colorado. The Traitor won over Hillary by 77% of the vote. Plus, like many rural Coloradans, Marta and her husband own a number of guns, including two semi-automatics, but Marta has had enough.
The NRA and the repugs have made a huge mistake. The mothers in this nation are enraged. They will do whatever they can to protect their babies - a Mom will fight to the death to protect her child - and I can't help but feel that Mom's across the nation are going to go to the polls and vote Democrat in the coming midterms.
The tide is beginning to turn folks. There is hope for our country yet!
I have no words to express my deep loathing of the republican party
The CHIP program is being cut or outright abolished in many, many states - including my own home state of Colorado. Rather than vote for the funding to continue the program, the republican controlled congress is deliberately leaving it to die a slow (and hopefully unknown demise) in some broom closet in the basement of a congressional office building in DC. The children who qualify for CHIP are often stuck between a rock and a hard place - their parents make too much money to qualify for medicaid, yet not enough to be able to afford private insurance.
One of my friend's adorable 7 year-old daughter has lost her medical coverage under CHIP, and her Mom is frantically searching for alternatives that apparently don't exist. What kind of low life scum would deny that innocent child medical care? What kind of low life scum would deny some of America's neediest children access to things like vaccinations or critical care due to an accident or catastrophic sickness?
The members of the republican party - that's who. A society is judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members. Our children are our country's hope for a better future. They should be valued and cherished. Instead, they are being cast aside in favor of tax breaks for bloated corporations and even more bloated millionaires and billionaires. What is the upper 1% going to do for the future of our country? I'll tell you what. Stash their billions in even more secret offshore tax havens and make all the use they can of the new loopholes which will be written down there in the fine print with only the financial servants of individuals like the Koch bros and Donald Trump to notice - and take gleeful advantage of them.
I would be less than honest if I didn't admit that things such as this make me hate my country.
Trump Confuses Mass Shootings Tweeting Condolences to Texas Hours After Tragedy in California
Source: People
President Donald Trump expressed his condolences for the wrong mass shooting after four people were fatally shot and at least ten injured in Northern California Tuesday.
“May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived,” Trump, 71, tweeted close to midnight Wednesday.
The commander-in-chief failed to recognize the latest massacre in Rancho Tehama Reserve, California, on Tuesday morning when a lone gunman occurred went on a random shooting spree in around the tiny community and targeted the local elementary school.
Rancho Tehama is about 190 miles north of San Francisco.
Sutherland Springs, Texas, was the location of the Nov. 5 church shooting where 25 people and an unborn child were killed.
Twitter users quickly slammed Trump with many calling out his inability to remember each mass shooting that has taken place this year.
Read more: http://people.com/politics/trump-confuses-mass-shootings-tweeting-condolences-to-texas-hours-after-tragedy-in-california/
Who cares about about all those liberal loonies in California, right? Trump does remember the tragedies in the red state of Texas, however.
A riddle - What's Going on at the White House
`Donald Trump went to London and met with the Queen.
"Your Queenship,“ he asked her. “I am finding things way more difficult than I could have imagined. May I ask you - how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”
“Well," replied Her Majesty, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Trump frowned. "But how do you know the people around you are really intelligent?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy” the Queen replied. “You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle”.
She pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Theresa May in here."
The Prime Minister walked into the room. “You called for me, Your Majesty?"
"Answer me this, if you would, Theresa“ the Queen said. “Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for even a second, Theresa May answered, “That would be me."
Yes! Very good,” said the Queen.
Trump went back home, returned to the White House and the very next day called for Mike Pence to come and see him Pence duly trotted in to the Oval Office. “Mike, answer this for me," said the Don. “Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?”
"I'm not sure," said Pence. “Let me get back to you on that one." Pence went panicking off to his advisers and asked everyone, but none of them could give him an answer.
The next night, as it happened, Pence ran in to Hillary Clinton in a restaurant. By now, desperate for an answer to give to his tyrannical boss, he approached her – much to her surprise.
“Hillary, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I would really appreciate it if you could answer this riddle for me."
“Sure, Mike“ Hillary said.. “I’m not one to hold a grudge. What is it?”
“Thanks, said Pence,” It’s this. "Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Hillary answered right back, “That's easy, it's me!"
Pence smiled, “Thanks!"
Pence then went back to speak with Trump "Say, boss, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Hillary Clinton.” Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled at him. "No, you idiot! It’s Theresa May!" .....
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE. 
The Discussionist? Can someone please explain for this newbie?
Hi, everybody! I discovered DU right after the horrible so-called 2016 "election," and I love this place! It helps me hold on to the few shreds of sanity I have left. Now the other day I clicked on a thread which mentioned the "The Discussionist," and curiosity killed the cat - I checked that place out, and I'm baffled. They actually have a forum where you can link to a thread here and discuss it there? What's up with that? I'm sure my question has been answered before, but I can't find anything very helpful about this. Can someone tell me what's up with that?
Thanking in advance anyone who takes the time to reply!
I don't care, I don't care, IDON'TCARE!
Finally, I have found the happy side of living with a brain injury. My memory is almost as bad as that guy's in my fav cult movie, Memento. Just like him, I write notes on my arms and hands since at least that way I won't lose them the way I do everything else that isn't attached firmly to my body like my toenails or whatever. I forget about all the small atrocities, but I certainly can remember the big ones like that orange creature from an alien planet who has taken over the White House. Plus I remember all the cool things about our country back in the day before most of my brain cells vanished. Remember when it wasn't acceptable to be a hood wearing member of the KKK? Remember when education was valued and teachers were respected? Remember when you didn't feel ashamed to admit to being an American? Remember when it was a good thing to provide meals on wheels to old folks before old folks became useless burdens on the taxpayers and should all be put out on the streets to die? I do!
I don't especially remember all the dem's infighting over platforms and personalities back in 2016. I don't especially WANT to remember all that foolishness. Thank Dog, I discovered DU on the day after the so-called election. It's as good as carefully inscribing "Bernie" in black ink on the sole of my left foot and making sure I use my nice purple sharpie to write "Hillary" on my right thumb.
Without DU, I'd be running out of body parts to remind myself about the coming MIDTERMS and how to spell "INDIVISIBLE" and I'd have nowhere to write the constant question every Coloradan asks daily - WHERE THE HELL IS SENATOR CORY GARDNER(R) AND CAN WE PLEASE THROW HIM TO CHEETO'S PET ALLIGATORS AS SOON AS WE FIND HIM?
I don't care about the past. Mistakes were made. Treason was committed by probably many more than we are aware of now. Comey is an asshole. I didn't kiss enough Bernie supporters and I didn't hug enough Hillary supporters. Mea culpa. Sic transit gloria mundi. But the sic doesn't have to keep transiting. We could give it a shot at coming together both as Dems and as very concerned Americans who are worried sick about the future of our country.
Let us all come together in these dire times and win our country back. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. I need to save room on the palms of my hands to write down the times of local INDIVISIBLE meetings and marches and protests. So thanks, DU for being an every fresh rehashing of old battles and bitter diatribes about how so and so threw our nation to the orangutans (my apologies to orangutans everywhere).
Just saying.
Trump spits in Limbaugh's Eye - Evacuates Mar A Lago ahead of Irma
(This post is mainly for grins - hope I'm posting it in the correct place!)
Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort evacuated in face of Hurricane Irma!
http://www.theage.com.au/world/trumps-maralago-resort-evacuated-in-face-of-hurricane-irma-20170908-gydk71.html
US President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate was evacuated along with the rest of the exclusive town of Palm Beach as Hurricane Irma threatened South Florida with catastrophic winds.
Authorities on the barrier island that is home to Trump's so-called "winter White House" ordered a mandatory evacuation on Thursday.
Trump has allowed MarALago to be evacuated in the face of the supposed threat that not only does Hurricane Irma exist but that this imaginary hurricane might actually cause damage. As the Big Bad Wolf might say, "I'll huff and I'll puff..."
However, patriot and man with nerves of steel, Rush Limbaugh has been working hard to soothe the frazzled nerves of those supposedly under threat from this fake news of a storm. During his Monday monologue Limbaugh had this to say:
“The reason that I am leery of forecasts this far out, folks, is because I see how the system works,” Limbaugh said, alluding to alleged conspiracies against President Donald J. Trump. “Hurricane Harvey and the TV pictures that accompany that go a long way to helping further and create the panic.”
https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2017/09/05/my-analysis-of-the-hurricane-irma-panic/
If only Failing CNN had covered Ivanka's special fall line-up of alligator skin stilettos (guaranteed to protect the wearer from any storm surge of up to 50 feet or more) instead of jaunting off to Houston to film the exploits of the Cajun Navy. But for the Free Press (which should be eliminated), Donald Trump (and the rest of us - except that we citizens don't count) would have known better than to fall prey to yet one more conspiracy.
The Failing WaPo and the Failing New York Times are hardly innocent of spreading uncalled for concern in the face of Category 4 and Category 5 hurricanes either. Still, this should not have mattered since Trump gets all his news from Fox and Friends and all the good people on both sides at Stormfront - OK, maybe this one time he should have resisted checking in with StormFront. Whatever the source of his fake news, Trump has inadvertently let loose a shock wave of panic among his faithful as they scramble to buy bottled war and gas for their cars.
All's not lost, however. Kellyanne Conway has announced that should the fake need arise, MarALago will open as a public shelter just in case fake storm Irma is photo shopped and pictures of fake flooding are put up by the lying liberal media.
Stay safe those of you in the region where Irma is lied to possibly hit. When your cars and homes are under water, just remember it's all a hoax, and you'll feel much better just like Rush.
I'm taking a brief vacation from DU
As of this writing, there are five threads on the DU home page - yes FIVE - once again refighting the primary. Both Hillary and Bernie did any number of things wrong and both did any number of things right. However, that's all in the PAST! Does everyone really want to keep on re-fighting ancient history and bashing Hillary/bashing Bernie when:
1) Trump is doing his best to get us into a war with N Korea and alienating as many of our allies as he possibly can?
2) 800,000 dreamers have been betrayed by Trump ending DACA?
3) The strongest Hurricane in a century has just decimated Houston, and another may well be headed toward Florida?
4) Climate change is ramping up all over the earth and we are quickly losing the window to prevent the more drastic impacts of global warming (see above)?
5) The repugs are back in session and hoping to push thru tax cuts for the uber wealthy at the expense of affordable housing thru HUD, food stamps, meals on wheels for the elderly, medicare/medicaid, programs to help Americans with disabilities, the EPA, NOAA, the NIH, the infrastructure, and many, many more.
6) Women across the country are losing control of their own reproductive rights.
7) The so-called president is doing his best to encourage white supremacists and attacks on minorities of every single possible kind.
8) The education of our young people is under attack - public schools are underfunded and being replaced by elitist charter schools that often only a few can afford. Tuition at public universities just keeps going through the roof and young college graduates are facing an ever accumulating mountain of debt.
9) THE MIDTERMS ARE APPROACHING!
I left out all sorts of other stuff, but I know the folks here can easily fill in all the rest of the blanks.
Frankly, my dear I don't give a damn about what Bernie said or what Hillary said. I refuse to expend any further energy on that particular dead end.
I'm hoping that if I take a couple of days off, we will back on message again. This divisive infighting is extremely discouraging, to say the least.
Profile Information
Gender: Do not displayHometown: Colorado Springs
Home country: Colorado
Current location: the Four Corners
Member since: Thu Dec 1, 2016, 02:27 PM
Number of posts: 1,002
