The problem is that I am Miss Havisham except there's no wedding cake (well, there wouldn't be because I would have eaten it), with cobwebs hanging everywhere, mostly from the ceiling down to the lampshade. And I could occasionally deal with them (I have a feather duster) but then I found out that actual spiders make those long threads--I'd had no idea. They are "cob spiders" and I started looking for one. Aha! This one was small and looked like you'd think a spider that made that kind of web would look--dust-colored and sort of invisible. It was not very big, which is probably why I'd never noticed one.

Well, I like spiders and I don't kill them, even if I find one in the house. I knock down their webs if they're inside--I'm not a total doofus--but what to do about these cob spiders? If their whole web is this sad little dusty string of a thing, won't the spider starve if I knock it down? I couldn't leave them up in the downstairs. They really are conspicuous in certain spots. I have decided I won't knock all of them down, and I'll just hope any visitors don't notice or have the good manners not to point them out--yes, I've had company that's pointed out dirt in my house, mostly little children. Well, screw 'em.

go to https://www.inquirer.com/education/medical-assistant-chop-philadelphia-school-flc-students-partnership-20230902.html for the whole story.

Essentially, CHOP teamed up with a Philly high school that offered a course in how to become a medical assistant. CHOP went to the director of the program and said they would hire every graduate who wanted a job and continue their training as an MA.


Everyone who wanted to work for the health system — 15 of Tkacs Way’s 33 seniors — has been hired by CHOP. They’re now part of a six-month medical assistant fellowship program, which helps them transition from the high school setting into the professional world. The FLC students get not just CHOP’s regular onboarding, but also an extra layer of support, including mentorship and classes that feature inspiring speakers, information about career paths and more.

The career path, steady work, and benefits, including tuition reimbursement, that CHOP offers are a big part of the draw of the FLC program, said Tkacs Way. One of her students brought home a paycheck and her father told the young woman he had never seen that much money in a paycheck in his life. Tkacs Way often tells her students that if they pursue higher education, find a way to do it without loans.

“To actually have respect, to have kind people around you, it’s so refreshing,” he said. “We have money secured, there are resources to help us with our lives and our futures.”

Lozada (one of the students) is about to start classes in CHOP’s nursing program, but he’s thrilled he can keep working part time at CHOP’s Karabots Center while he keeps up his studies. He loves the work — the funny moments with young patients, or the patient roughly Lozada’s age who was impressed that an 18-year-old had such a good job.

My husband watched the Little Richard special last night and was talking about it this morning. It reminded me of a news account from back in the '70s when Little Richard had a lot of trouble cashing a check in Philadelphia.

He had performed at one of the great Philly venues and took his paycheck to the bank it was drawn on, which happened to be Frankford Trust Company. He endorsed the check and slid it over to the teller, who looked at the front and the back (and I'm sure noticed the amount) and said "I can't cash this, sir. It's not properly endorsed."

The check had been made out to "Little Richard," and Little Richard had endorsed it with his legal name, which was Richard Penniman. He naturally had no official ID as "Little Richard," so all kinds of bank officers had to be called over. Frankford Trust was a stodgy old bank--my husband went to work there a couple of years later--that promoted from within. I am sure that only the few young tellers had any idea of who LR was, and the officers--my husband's boss, for example, who was a vice president, had not graduated from high school but had been hired for her ability to speak Italian--had no idea of who he was, either.

LR threw a fit, and the cops were called. Fortunately, the cops knew who LR was, his check finally got cashed, and Richard Penniman was on to his next sold-out appearance. Another indignity under his rhinestone belt.

This story was in the Philadelphia Bulletin, which no longer exists, and I think I'm the only one on earth who remembers it.

called out "Gendarme! Gendarme!"

The snooty waiter glided over and said "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. I think you mean Garcon! Garcon! That is French for waiter. Gendarme means policeman."

"Precisely the man I need--there seems to be a holdup in the kitchen."

upset when their daughter became engaged to Ari Melber?

Because Ari Melber is only a commentator.

"dick-drive" for when men let their interest in sex direct their words or actions, or when the only reason a man would make such a stupid decision is that he's operating on dick-drive.

I can't find a reference on Google. Has anyone heard this phrase before? If not, I'm very proud of myself.

made me smile. Yes, I hate them too.

But I also hated the scanners at the regular checkout counters. Does anybody else remember when every item in the store was marked with a price label? You could actually compare prices without squatting down to figure out price per ounce, and you could know when prices changed because when you bought a new jar of pickles you could compare the price sticker with that on the old jar.

Many jobs were lost when scanners came in. Checking out was slower, sure, because the clerk had to punch in the price of every item, but it sure was nice to have the price of each item clearly labeled when you got your groceries home.

Rita the Mail Lady (Epatha Merkerson) "fan mail from some flounder?", Cowboy Curtis
(Laurence Fishburne) "you know what big boots mean, Pee Wee--big feet!", Captain Carl (of course) "A sailor sails on many many seas, anywhere he pleases; and he always remembers to wash his hands, so's he don't get no diseases", Magic Screen and his cousin, Magic Johnson; Miss Yvonne the most beautiful woman in Puppetland, Chairy and Floory and Clocky, and the Cowntess and Randy the Bad Boy--all the way back to the Groundlings and Pee Wee's friend Hammy and the shoe mirrors so he and Pee Wee could look up girls' dresses--down to the vigilante crime fighter/criminal with a cape on Reno 911,

You bet I have a wish, Jamby. I wish Paul Reubens were alive and healthy, and I could give him a hug and a kiss and tell him how much I love him and will miss him for the rest of my life.

I put up with the starlings when they swoop in and eat all the suet in 15 minutes because they are so entertaining in the birdbath--boy they love to splash around--but the damn house finches treat the sunflower seed feeder like Starbucks. They perch on *all* the feeding perches and then just sit there for what seems like hours, working on their birdie computers or something. The sweet little songbirds--chickadees and titmice and even their cousins the goldfinches flutter around futilely, hungry for a bite. The better-behaved birds eat and move along, so everyone gets a turn. But not these jerks.

And you know what makes it worse? Somebody comes to visit and sees them out the window, and they squeal "Ooooh--you have purple finches." Almost as bad as the ones who argue with me that the red-bellied woodpeckers are red-headed woodpeckers.

What man?

The man with the power

What power?

The power of hoo-doo

Hoo-doo?!

You do

I do what?

Remind me of a man

What man?

Repeat with your brother in the back seat until your mother tells you if you don't stop she's going to pull the car over and you two can just walk home.