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Member since: Sun Jan 1, 2017, 06:42 PM
Number of posts: 17,984

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Man Who Shot His (you know what) Will Face Charges: He's a Felon

Florida man shoots himself in the penis. And might have a bigger problem

A Jacksonville man reportedly sat on his gun and shot his penis. That might not be the worse part of his summer.

Cedrick Jelks pleaded guilty in 2004 to cocaine possession, according to court records. He got five days in the county jail, time served, and paid $438. That guilty plea made Jelks a convicted felon.

So, a gun on the front seat of Jelks’ car that he could sit on — and consequently shoot himself in the penis with — might put him in jail. If prosecuted for possession of a firearm, Jelks faces a minimum three-year prison sentence.

According to Jacksonville's WJXT Channel 4, Jelks’ girlfriend told police the 38-year-old had been outside in his Nissan Altima before hustling into the home they shared and heading for the bathroom. Once she learned he’d been shot in the penis, she got him to a hospital. Police spoke to her there.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article159460374.html#storylink=cpy


If this is not an argument for not allowing convicted felons to own firearms, then I don't know what is. And don't even get started on having a "well hung militia" or the meaning of his last name.

Did anyone else sing Battle Hymn of the Republic in school?

I distinctly remember singing it in 1st through 4th grade when I was still living in Texas. And I am pretty damned sure why I was made to sing it -- us southerners had to sing a Union song to get it through our thick heads that we were wrong and that's why we lost. Maybe we need to make it mandatory in all red states to be sung on a daily basis. Maybe we can get Sessions to lead us.

Did some sleuthing into social security number fraud

Here are some interesting articles about how many people's social security numbers have been duplicated. Warning, you will not be happy with the findings. The first two articles are from 2010 when ID Analytics conducted a major investigation into social security numbers fraud. The last article is a follow up report from ID Analytics about the growth in a three year period in social security numbers fraud:

Odds someone else has your SSN? One in 7: http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/odds-someone-else-has-your-ssn-one-7-6C10406347

The IRS often knows when this happens, when the imposter pays taxes. The Social Security Administration knows, too, for the same reason. And the nation's credit bureaus usually know, because the imposter often ends up applying for some form of credit. Plenty of financial institutions also have access to this information.

But no one is telling you. In short, all these government agencies and financial firms don't think you have a right to know.

We're no closer to finding out who's on that list today, but at least we now know how big the problem is: much bigger than we originally estimated.
20 Million Americans Have Multiple Social Security Numbers Associated With Their Name: http://www.idanalytics.com/blog/press-releases/20-million-americans-multiple-social-security-numbers-associated-name/

SAN DIEGO, CA –More than 20 million Americans have multiple Social Security numbers (SSNs) associated with their name in commercial records according to a new study announced today from ID Analytics, Inc., a leader in consumer risk management. The study also found that rather than serving as a unique identifier, more than 40 million SSNs are associated with multiple people.

ID Analytics conducted the industry’s most comprehensive examination of SSNs using its ID Network®, the nation’s only real-time, cross-industry compilation of identity information. It examined more than 280 million SSNs to determine discrepancies.

“Our research shows that Social Security numbers, contrary to popular perception, do not uniquely identify an individual,” said Dr. Stephen Coggeshall, chief technology officer, ID Analytics. “Most of these cases of duplication are likely due to simple data entry errors as opposed to deliberate falsification. Nevertheless, organizations expose themselves and their customers to risk if they solely rely on the SSN to verify an individual.”
Synthetic Identity Fraud Rate Increases More Than 100 Percent Over Three Years: http://www.idanalytics.com/blog/press-releases/synthetic-identity-fraud-rate-increases-100-percent-three-years/

SAN DIEGO, Calif. – ID Analytics®, Inc., a leader in consumer risk management, today announced a new study from ID:A Labs that shows while the number of synthetic identities is decreasing, the average fraud rate for synthetic identities has increased more than 100 percent since 2010. The study described in ID Analytics’ white paper, “The Long Con: Analysis of Synthetic Identities”, examined new account applications in the financial services and wireless industries over a three-year period to determine the size of the synthetic identity pool and the risk level to companies.


The election integrity commission's requested data included the social security numbers of registered voters. Imagine what havoc they could create by cherry picking duplicated names associated with social security numbers. And you would never know until it came time for you to vote.

Yoyodyne Industries sends "Monkey Boy" tRump its Employee Voter Information (Satire)

Yoyodyne Industries, the Pentagon's largest contractor of bomber planes, has complied with president "Monkey Boy" tRump's Election Integrity Commission's request to supply it with all employee voter information. It also stated that none of its employees would be voting in next year's mid-term elections. When asked why, company spokesperson John Bigboote replied, "We are going home." When asked where "home" was, Bigbootie stated, "Planet 10." When asked when they were planning to leave, Bigboote affirmed, "Real soon." It should be noted that Yoyodyne Industries has been under investigation ever since company CEO and lead scientist, Emilio Lizardo (AKA John Whorfin) allegedly stole a secret "overthruster" mechanism from rival scientists at the Banzai Institute.

List of Employees:
John Barnett
John Bigboote
John Camp
John Careful Walker
John Chief Crier
John Cooper
John Coyote
John Edwards
John Fish
John Fledgling
John Gomez
John Grim
John Guardian
John Icicle Boy
John Jones
John Joseph
John Kim Chi
John Lee
John Littlejohn
John Many Jars
John Milton
John Mud Head
John Nephew
John Nolan
John O'Connor
John Omar
John Parrot
John Rajeesh
John Ready to Fly
John Repeat Dance
John Roberts
John Scott
John Smallberries
John Starbird
John Take Cover
John Thorny Stick
John Two Horns
John Whorfin
John Wood
John Wright
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