I_UndergroundPanther
I_UndergroundPanther's JournalI miss my old therapist
Laurie. She was so kind to me,helped so much.
The therapist I have now doesnt know how to treat trauma. All she does is give me new age religion.
I dunno if it has dawned on her Im not the believer type and positivity think has no bearing on reality no matter how much you tell yourself it does. Abd karma is just more religion.
I feel like shes scared of the darkness inside me,scared I dont believe,scared of my anger and scared I can feel hate.
She avoids these topics.
Laurie helped and accepted it as part of my past I needed to work through. Laurie said the first time I met her that she accepts my anger and I burst into tears in the damn hallway. Laurie didnt push CBT down my throat as if its a cure all. For me CBT it feels like manipulation,denial and it makes me angry and unable to trust my current therapist.
I asked my current therapist to help me find a trauma therapist
She was useless.she says its better to just move on from the past. I never heard something so stupid in my life.
I have PTSD and dissociative identity how in the hell is denial gonna help??!!
I'm about to tell her to listen to me,if she cant listen,to even the darkness well I'll have to seek out a therapist.
And I will tell her how incompetent she really is before I go. And back it up with actual psychology.
I just heard on my local news
Baltimore channel 13
That the jan.6th commission is not going to persue the investigation regarding the documents case regarding tfg..
It was a quick one sentance statement.
What the fuck!!!
I have decided
To wean Othello off wet food. I cant afford to try and try different foods every few days.
I know he likes his kibble a mix of fancy feast with garden greens,the filet mignon one and purina one sensitive stomach.
He never barfs from the kibble. He likes it and its not got me switching foods every 3 seconds.
So when I get the new cat that kitty will be a kibble cat too.
Rustle,Sparkle Bear and Vinny all ate kibble they all lived to become really old. No health issues except for Rustle he got cancer when he was 14.
Plus the flavor guessing game with Othello is getting really old and causing my anxiety to get worse . I hate throwing out perfectly good wet food. Donating what's leftover after the weaning to the local shelter. Done with this shit.
A disturbing thought.
When pootin declared his kill list, he said he wanted to kill people who are part of minority religions,anti putin activists, leaders that oppose him, and GLBT people.
Who's on the fascist magats fantasy kill list..?
Minority religions,Democrats,
liberals,Biden,various Democratic government people,and GLBT people.
Funny thier list of who they'd destroy is the same as pootins? Fancy that.
A Democratic ad idea
Inspired by Captain Truth's post.
Select D to go forward or select R to go backwards
This should be a Democratic
Campaign slogan.
Here is an ad idea:
Show a hand on a car shift move it to a red R show the driver looking backwards and the car moving backwards, show scenes from now like how much good America has to the past,slow down and like an old newsreel show the nazi marches from the 30's and the racist strange fruit on the trees. show women from the depression barefoot with dirty feet too many kids living in a hovel show the ugly pastas it was,no filters,show a belligerant racist screaming.
Make it viscerally repulsive as possible.
Then show the shift knob being put in drive. Show a big blue D show a visibly shaken driver turn
around forward and the car moving forward.
Whizz
past the depression ,past the children working in coal mines,move to more prosperous times slow down the images ,dem presidents superimposed with prosperity a home etc.with the speech about the new deal going in the background then show the progress and how life got better as America became more Democratic over time.
Ask
Which way do you want to go?
Go forward vote Democratic.
How do you turn smileys back on?
Anyone up for Corona haiku?
Sitting in my house
Avoiding covid 19
Cat sneezed on me,eewww.
Why I sometimes don't "play nice"
I am human and humans are a mix of good and bad.
I get angry sometimes.I express it in my own way, I have no desire to pretend what I feel is wrong.
I have spent many years tolerating the intolerable.
Biting my tounge and denying and stuffing away my emotions and thoughts that were not nice.
There is a purpose to anger ,sarcasm and the things that offend some people.
I think karma is horseshit.
It's definitely dis-empowering.
And I have no desire to be a saint.
Most people are not saints.
Yes I am happy when a repug dies.
This is because I hate fascism,I hate narcissists authoritarians and sociopaths. I think they are dangerous to others and to life itself. I have been very traumatized by the sort of monsters in christinazi churches and the republican party.
I cannot love what cannot be shamed and seeks my destruction.
I will not waste my empathy on people who have none.
I feel happy when a evil person with ice water in their veins ,and they really do exist,dies or is incapacitated. That way the harm they do is negated,finally.
The request to be nice take the high road ,has led to a sort of solipsism about people that does not mesh with how people really are. It can cause harm.
Sometimes you need to say what you say. Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes it's cathartic.
One person's negative words can be healing and cathartic even if they are not nice twords a person.
No one has a right to tell me how I should feel or think.
I do not play nice with people who seek my or my allies ruin.
Playing nice caused how many republican administration's where our rights,democracy,this country was harmed and plundered?
So sometimes,it's ok to not be nice.
I do not share the belief in karma or that there is some metaphysical punishment for not being nice.
I treat others as they treat me.
I extend my hand in friendship if you bite my hand, I am under no obligation to not punch you for biting me .
Truth comes out.
Trump admits republicans would never be elected if voting expanded.
Talk about a minority tyranny.
https://www.commondreams.org/news/2020/03/30/saying-quiet-part-very-loud-trump-admits-youd-never-have-republican-elected-country
Trumps actions
Leads me to wonder if this may be where we are headed if republicans insist..
This corrupt psychopath ogliarchy will never stop abusing or step aside for the good of the people.
They will not do thier constitutional duty to provide for the general welfare of the American people..
They are narcissitic authoritarian and sociopathic they have no insight and do not care about others. They are a gang of greedy bullies who's motto is me first fuck everyone else..
They won't stop this inhuman shit until they are dead. They won't be reasoned with,they ignore facts and are all too eager to sacrifice other people's lives to enrich themselves.
Trump is a murderer,denying states the help they need unless they kiss his huge gelatinous ass.
I think trump and his kind will provoke revolution or worse eventually,because they'll never care,never grow up,and never will have any introspection or growth.
They benifiet from this abuse of power and they'll never stop abusing this country until the day they die. They thrive on death abuse control and chaos. They want people to bow down,submit to them like slaves.
Our founding fathers would be appalled.
The ogliarchy has worn out thier welcome in this country and have caused grave harm. . Maybe they should be sacrificed for the safety of the American people. Just sayin.
Just some thoughts on this intractable situation that does not have to stay intractable. Citizens arrest? Or ???
Profile Information
Gender: Do not displayHometown: Maryland
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jan 10, 2017, 01:27 AM
Number of posts: 12,842